Stress overload

Sooo, I need a little vent (what's new?).
I'm currently trying to save for a house deposit. In fact I'm trying to save for the house I am currently living in as I've lived here 8 years this coming December and I'm extremely attached. I vaguely remembered my landlords saying they were thinking of renovating and selling, so realising the lack of time I had left I went into super save mode, selling old belongings, doing dog walking, growing plants to sell, hand making things...
Today I went to the land agent to get some forms for something and while talking to her it was confirmed that my landlords are in fact planning to sell, but she doesn't know when. I do however know that it will be in the nearish future.

My stress has officially gone into super overdrive. I really don't think I'll be able to save everything in time. I've got just over 4 grand, I'm aiming for about 18. Now that I have work I can save a lot more than before, but I really don't think I'll get the amount I'm aiming for in the amount of time that I have.

Of course a lot of people have said, and will continue to say that it's really not a big deal, it's not the end of the world, I can get somewhere else instead. I really don't think people quite get what a big deal this is to me. I have lived in this home since I was 17, and I'm now 25. It's the first home I've ever lived in that I've ever truly felt safe in, that I can decide who or what comes through the front door. I work and study 10 minutes down the road, I know everyone who lives around me, I know what animals show up in my yard. I live right at the foothills and it gets foggy in Autumn and winter, it smells amazing when it rains because of all the trees in my yard. When it's late in the evening the light shines through the trees and turns my bedroom dappled gold.
It might only be small but it's my home, and jut the thought of having to leave and never be able to see this place again is destroying me. Nobody knows what my home is to me. I'm so stressed that I won't even be able to enjoy the last amount if time I probably have here. It's really affecting my PTSD too, and I dream constantly that I get told I have to leave. I moved 13 times by the time I ended up here, a lot of that due to abuse/neglect/poverty. I have in the past also lost all my belongings because of the relationship my mother was in, whether it was sold for drugs or left somewhere I don't know, but that was my whole childhood gone. I guess that may somewhat explain my attachment to things.

I wish I could go somewhere and ask for donations to help me save, haha. I'm even collecting bottles and cans to recycle (where I live you get 10 cents per bottle), I've made at least $40 from that which I guess isn't too bad. I even go for walks just to find them. In my defense it's good exercise and I'm helping the environment by picking up litter, haha.

Anyway, I really needed to have a sook, I'm feeling quite depressed at the thought of losing my home.

Who knows, maybe they'll sell it, to someone who wants to own rental property!? There is, always, that remote possibility!! I've seen that happen, with properties around where I live, and even in one place, that I once lived in. It changed ownership, but remained as rental property.

The last thing I was told by my landlords (some time last year) was they were going to renovate when I moved out, as in they were going to give me the boot to renovate to increase the property value, then sell it. So I'll be hitting the road when they renovate. They are overseas apparently, but even though I initially decided I wasn't going to ask about it, because I wanted to keep the motivation that I was going to stay here, I think I'd like to know sooner rather than later now that I know the time is coming.

You poor thing, i know what it's like to lose everything, when i was a teenage my brothers and sisters took all my stuff and took over my bedroom after i ended up in the hospital for the first time, it was a heartbreaker losing all my grade school stuff i made and just other furniture etc,I can't even imagine losing my house, we have a mortgage payment to be paid but it's affordable. i certainly will pray for your situation and hope all goes well in the future.

How big of a renovation is involved here? People renovate and remain, all the time!!

Well, in a way, if it needs that much work, perhaps, looking to relocate, will be in your better interest, in the long run, than buying a piece of property that needs that much work!!

If it's just for increase in value, think of the taxes saved on that property value, long term!! And if it's just for increase in value, can't you stay while it's being renovated?

I'm not sure how much work they are doing but it's an old house, maybe 40 years. It's not dilapidated or anything, it just needs work.
I really don't care if I'm buying a home that needs work, better than buying a brand new home that's just a house on some dirt. And it's MY home. I don't care if I need to put a bit of work into it. It may cost more money, but at least I'm in the home I've been in for bordering on a decade. Renovating can be done over time, and I wouldn't be leaving if I owned the place. My best interest is my mental health, and trust me when I say it's not doing so well right now, and it will do even worse if I have to move.
I have the issue of being absolutely terrified of being alone also, I can't be in my grandparents house (which I've known for 25 years and even lived in) by myself without getting nervous. When I moved into this place I couldn't sleep at night, and it took me about 5 years to be able to walk around here at night without being scared. Only in the last year or so have I been able to sleep without a light and music on. In fact I spent the first six or 7 years here sleeping with a light and music on and I'd have to barricade the door. Sometimes it would be with a light, tv and my laptop with music all on. I don't want to have to do that all over again, haha.
I know there are pros in a new house, but even the thought of that is something I can't bare.

Why don't you talk to your landlord and see if you can work something out? Maybe they will be willing to accept the money you have and let you "work off" the rest. Maybe you can help do some of the renovations (painting, cleaning, etc.) for a reduced cost of the house. There are many possibilities if you just talk about them. It's worth a try. The worst that can happen is he will not be willing to negotiate and then you will have to move.

My landlords are currently overseas, but I can't buy anywhere until I've saved up enough of a deposit to be given a home loan. A home loan company won't give me the money to buy a house if I haven't got that and a good income. I think my current income is enough, so now it's just saving every last cent I have. I will in the coming months be making an appointment with someone to see how much I can be given and what I will need to be given that. I'm going to save a little bit more money to show I can constantly put money away (as in a few hundred a week), I have a good rental history (yesterday my landlord printed out my entire 8 year rental history for me), and I have never had any debts or a bad credit history. So I'm pretty much set, it's just a deposit I need.
I know the worst that can happen is I need to move, and that's the issue. On top of me having to give up my home of 8 years, I have nowhere to go temporarily until I found somewhere, and I have pets that may not be allowed if I rent a new place. I may have to get rid of my animals that I've had for years.

I will echo avlady's sentiments, for sure! The very best!

Evening, I hope you can get some temp help with your pets if need be, and hope this all works out for you. Do you have anything of value you're willing to part with and could get good money for? Just a thought! Have been there and done this and it's an experience I'd like not to repeat, so can totally relate! The best!

I have sold a number of my things yes, I don't have anything of huge value though. I've gone through my belongings and if I could sell the pricier items I could easily make a few hundred off it, it's just a matter of people buying them. There are also a few things I would be willing to part with if I knew I could buy this place, but I'm holding onto until I know, as I'd hate to sell them and realise there was no point. I do wish I'd thought of this a few years ago when I gave a number of things away to my cousin, who then decided some of which she'd give to someone else and the rest she lost because of her abusive boyfriend.