[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Firstly, let me tell you that I've had some tough relationships in the past - I distinctly remember waking up one morning on the floor; my bed obviously had abused my trust and shoved me onto the cold hard floor. I remember a few relationships that went that way; many sleepless nights spent arguing with my bed, pleading for it to stop putting the pillows on the floor or foot of the bed, while I was sleeping.

I have spent many a year trying to explain that I was sorry for ever suggesting we had threesomes, but I couldn't help it; I was in-love with a human, but my bed was always there for me, even when things went sour with the humans.

Recently, shockingly, I was hurt by another who obviously doesn't understand or appreciate the love I share with my bed; I was rudely ridiculed on Facebook, upon simply sharing my love, and do you know what? It hurt.

I had a rough night the previous night, and I unfortunately cheated on my bed, with a floor and a sofa, but I couldn't help it! I tried to think morally, but these things happen! I had also been drinking - water can make you do all sorts of horrible things, but I wasn't thinking at the time!

When I came home the next day, my bed was very concerned and asked where I had been, "Oh bed, how I've missed you so; let's never be apart again." - was all I said, and from thereon out, a beautiful night formed. My bed stayed with me all night; it was so romantic! We just snuggled there together until I drifted off.

I'm just really aching right now, because of the pain I'm feeling at my very core, for the hurtful things my family and friends are saying; like it's wrong to be in-love!

People will never understand the love between a man and his bed.

[Leed]

Teehee ~ Hey - a woman can be JUST as in love with her bed as a man. I'm a chronic pain patient, and I hurt ALOT most of the time. The only comfort I get, which is very little mind you, is in my bed!

My family of course has known that I've been a pain patient for the last 27 years, and they seem SURPRISED when i want to lay down with my best friend, my bed. I can't quite figure out how they could be so surprised? I've never hidden my affair. It's not some back-alley type thing. It wouldn't FIT in a back alley. Afterall, it's a queen size, so I have to be careful where we DO meet.

Unfortunately I don't have a truck, so we can't go anywhere. I WOULD like to have a 'tryst' on the beach of one of the Great Lakes, but since I can't get my friend there, it has to stay where it is. But I can dream -- I have CD's of the waves of the oceans, so the two of us lay there and listen in bliss.

You're right == people just don't understand the affair with the bed. Hugs, Lee

[sewerrats]

I like the vacum cleaner better, THE PIPE IS A PERFECT FIT.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

You're welcome, guys. :P I was hoping to cheer some of y'all up. 72 views, though, and only 3 forms of feedback? Something tells me that a lot of people thought I was being serious... xD Result!

[unaluna]

Hey you got a reply from sewerrats, that is high praise indeed!!

[Maven]

Originally Posted by sewerrats

I like the vacum cleaner better, THE PIPE IS A PERFECT FIT.

[Maven]

Akuma, that was well-written and very funny. Sort of reminds me of this horror (well, sorta) story I once read in collection of Bentley Little's stories (ironically, it was called The Collection), called "Pillow Talk" about bed linens in love with a guy.

In related news, I just found out BL wrote a second The Collection back in 2009! How'd I miss that? I know I miss new books a lot (especially horror) since Barnes & Noble and Books-a-Million don't have horror sections (so I need to browse the Internet for new horror, and I have too many books to be spending my money on new books!). I'll have to put that on my wish list for now.

After just seeing a YouTube book trailer, it turns out "Pillow Talk" is in the second collection. I'm pretty sure it's in the first collection, too, along with "The Washingtonians," which has thrice been made into short movies (at least twice, but I'm pretty sure thrice).

[Yoda]

I thought it was hysterical and very well done ...I my bed too since I got a new mattress not that long ago. It was like a whole new world opened up to me.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Lol. Thanks, guys. xD Spread the joy, if you like. xD I put it on here, because when I showed my folks, they brought the house down with laughter, so I figured it would cheer some other folks up.

I'm in love with sleep . . . not the mattress!

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I'm gonna go ahead and bump this, just on the off-chance it makes anyone else smile.

[spondiferous]

It certainly made me smile. Odd things also happen when I am under the influence of water!
Luckily my bed is understanding. I have a polyamorous relationship between it and my fiancee. We are quite happy, the three of us.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Lol, Spondiferous, I got that post a little too late, but nice one. :P

I used to think it was men and their trucks ... This got me to thinkin' though ... A truck has a bed, so maybe it's not the truck they're in love with but rather the truck bed ... !!!

[Citrine]

I my bed.

[Maven]

I'd like a new bed, but the one I have is pretty good. It's just that it's gotten a little lumpy and sunken-in from the way I sleep.

[possum220]

I am a female and I also love my bed and it gives me big warm hugs at night and takes care of me when I am oblivious to the world. The pillows accept my drool without complaint. In return I keep its covers clean. I am going to get my bed some more linen as it complains when the bottom sheets move too much. It reminds me to do this by sticking its legs out and I jam my toes into the legs with a resounding crunch. But I do love my bed and it needs me now...... lols.