Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Q. Why'd the chicken cross the road?

A. To show the possum that it can be done!

Q. Why'd the armadillo cross the road?

A. To show the possum that armor won't save you!

whats the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.

[Nammu]

What do you call the chicken that crossed the road twice but didn't take a bath?

A dirty double crosser.

[sewerrats]

A woman goes into hospital to have her lady bits trimmed has they hang down, she begs the doc not to tell anyone. After the op she finds 3 roses on her pillow, the doc said don't worry the first is from me, and the second a nurse who had the same op. What about the 3rd she cries , OOOOOO that from the burns unit upstairs a guy thanks you for his new EAR,S

[tokiwartooth]

What do you call a dog that lives in the ocean? Fidoplankton (phytoplankton).
What do you give a parrot to see if it's lying? A Pollygraph.

A man goes into a pet store and sees a talking parrot with no legs holding onto his perch. He approaches the parrot and asks it how it holds on without legs. "I hold on with my private parts." The man, thinking that was fascinating, bought the parrot and took him home. Every day after work the parrot would recount the day's events for him. One day he comes home and the parrot is distraught. "What's wrong?" he asked the parrot. "Well, the mailman came to the door and your wife answered it wearing nothing but a negligee, and they started to make love on the living room floor!" "Well, what happened next?!" the guy asked. "I don't know, I fell off my perch."

[sewerrats]

I parked in a rough area and a kid said , do you want me to look after your car while your gone. I said NO there is a pit bull in the back. The kid said // CAN HE PUT OUT FIRES.??

[tokiwartooth]

Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a florist business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion where they had been selling the flowers. Said one friar, well, if it was anyone else we may have gotten away from it. But only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

[Evening]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

[tokiwartooth]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? Art.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg propped against a wall? Eileen.

[spondiferous]

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.

Originally Posted by tokiwartooth

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? Art.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg propped against a wall? Eileen.

what do you call a man with no arms or legs laying on the floor? Matt

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by SpiritOfAStorm

what do you call a man with no arms or legs laying on the floor? Matt

HOW old are you

[anneo59]

why are some baseball players still so cool???? They have fans!