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  #1  
Old Sep 21, 2006, 05:02 PM
JustAPixie's Avatar
JustAPixie JustAPixie is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,212
For all of those who look at life a little differently...

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However,
the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We
Have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
Filling up fast and we've been administering an entrance examination
for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you
can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But
nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't
too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only
three
questions:

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next
day
and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a
chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one < which two days in the week
Begin with the letter T? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and
Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not
What I was thinking, but you do have a point and I guess I didn't
specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next
one?" asks St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk
about
that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how
could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says, "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd..."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with
this
and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. But
I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the
Third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"ANDY!!!!!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my
first
Two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name
ANDY as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I
Learnt it from the song, ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN..."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "RUN FORREST RUN!!!!"

Give me a sense of humour, give me the grace to see a joke,
to get some humour out of life, and pass it on to other folks.
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  #2  
Old Sep 23, 2006, 01:06 PM
SeptemberMorn's Avatar
SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
Joke for today!

I've seen that one before. Amazing how Forrest thought! LOL
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
  #3  
Old Sep 23, 2006, 01:18 PM
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BlueFaith BlueFaith is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 4,367
I wish I could think about some aspects of life the way Forrest did! Joke for today!
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"There are things we need to forget and forgive,
Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need."
Silverchair- All Across The World
  #4  
Old Sep 23, 2006, 01:50 PM
Rhapsody's Avatar
Rhapsody Rhapsody is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
I GOT ONE FOR YOU................ a JOKE!

say cow b4 every word

cows

about

talking

idiot

this

got

I

long

how

look

now say cow after each word

cows

about

talking

idiot

this

got

I

long

how

look

now say cow b4 and after each word

cows

about

talking

idiot

this

got

I

long

how

look

now read the words up from the bottom
  #5  
Old Sep 23, 2006, 02:09 PM
sammi's Avatar
sammi sammi is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2006
Location: trying to find myself again
Posts: 159
hahaha i fell for it lol

Joke for today! Joke for today! Joke for today! Joke for today!
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"I live to dream and dream to live."
  #6  
Old Sep 23, 2006, 02:18 PM
BlueFaith's Avatar
BlueFaith BlueFaith is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 4,367
Joke for today! me too
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"There are things we need to forget and forgive,
Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need."
Silverchair- All Across The World
  #7  
Old Sep 23, 2006, 03:32 PM
JustAPixie's Avatar
JustAPixie JustAPixie is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,212
lol!!! That should keep some people busy!
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  #8  
Old Sep 23, 2006, 03:34 PM
deepblue's Avatar
deepblue deepblue is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: ,england
Posts: 71
fantastic thankyou tanya

after a serious day at work
this is the highlite of my day

tears in my eyes this is funny

i see the humour its great

i remeber that hymn great joke
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  #9  
Old Sep 23, 2006, 03:39 PM
deepblue's Avatar
deepblue deepblue is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: ,england
Posts: 71
rhapsody that is great

i really went for it

thought it was a tongue twister at first

loved it thankyou
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