[Poppy Princess]

It gets recommended a lot, but does anyone actually have friends they made at a club?

[eskielover]

What kind of club?......I have many friends I have made from groups I go to....ranging from my Bible study groups to the horse riding groups to my ballroom dancing group I'm involved in.....we socialize a lot outside the specific activities we are actually involved in while some of that is purely social anyway......out of that I have some friends that are closer than others...but we all care & pull together when someone needs support or help also....not just all social......I never experienced any thing like it before I left my husband 6 years ago......I had NO friends beflre I left & moved to a place 2100 miles away where initially I didn't know anyone.....greatest change of my life.

[Poppy Princess]

Oh okay. I tried a group once but it felt awkward. I could never keep up conversations. I've never been good at talking to people I don't already know.

[eskielover]

I used to feel that way.......I would never know what to say until long after the conversation passed on to another subject......which was very much like my parents were.......the difference now is that I'm 60 years old....I read & am well experienced in the activities I'm involved in.....when I first moved here, I actually joined the libraries reading club which met once a month after reading the book....it was the first time (6 years ago) that I actually read the book & retained what it was about & could actually hold an intelligent conversation with the others in the group......that was the starting of my getting confidence in realizing that I was capable of communicating with others. I had an engineering career that ended back in 1994.....I found with that when we had meetings with the military, I could talk about things that I knew really well....because I always refused to be like my father who always said things that were so wrong & so embarrasing any time he got in a conversation with other people & would end up in an argument trying to prove that he was right. Not wanting to be anything like him kept me quiet for most of my life except on things that I absolutely knew so thoroughly that there was nothing to fight or argue over & I knew I knew what I knew........

Having my mind free from the fighting that had been seriously going on in my marriage also freed my mind to be able to allow so much more into it....& it felt good to start learning & asking questions & putting thoughts together......not I almost have the opposite problem & I catch myself before I start talking too much......it's much nicer to blend in & have interesting conversations...........but sometimes it's just nice to listen also....& one can be just as much a part of a group through activity participation than just verbal conversation....obviously depending on the group.

[Poppy Princess]

Interesting.

I guess clubs just aren't for me.

[HealingTimes]

I am so bad at starting (or maintaining...or being part of) conversations, it's embarrassing.

Also, i rarely get the chance to go to clubs as i cant get babysitters.

[unaluna]

Yes. And actually I went with a friend from work to a club meeting, and we became better friends because of it, along with us both really profiting personally in different ways from joining this club. And I got to be good friends with a couple of other people besides. So if it's something you are really interested in, you can meet like-minded people.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

Oh okay. I tried a group once but it felt awkward. I could never keep up conversations. I've never been good at talking to people I don't already know.

Will Rogers said Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet

[Poppy Princess]

I don't know. I try talking to people but it feels... weird. There's something off about it. It's probably just me.

[Poppy Princess]

I think I'm just not good at making friends :/

[eskielover]

It does take concentration & an interest in others to communicate.....& it's important to listen. Sometimes it's hard because I know thinking about what you want to say, sometimes we don't hear what the other person is saying......it takes a lot of effort & focus & yes.....consentration.

It's not easy to get involved in many ways.....but I have gained so much from knowing & finding wonderful friends...it's more than worth every bit of effort it takes.