[kittyfaye]

Ok, first off, I currently have an apartment. It sucks. The noise and ants are terrible. Otherwise it's fine. My lease is almost up and I have two choices: renew my lease for another six months or move in with my boyfriend and his parents. (Now before y'all assume he's a deadbeat because he still lives with his parents, he's 26 and his parents are disabled and in their 60's. He has to help them around the house and stuff.) The problem with moving in with him is they barely have any room for my stuff. They keep telling me they'll make room but I have a hard time imagining that. They have a lot of stuff because they live in the late grandparents' house and their stuff is still there. It's not quite as bad as a hoarder situation but it's still a lot. The other thing is they still own their original house they were living in next door. We could move in there but it is uninhabitable at the moment. It's old, needs repairs, and there is so much crap in that house. It needs a good cleaning out and a scrubbing from floor to ceiling. What I could do is move in my boyfriend's room rent free, find somewhere to put my stuff, and help him clean the other house so we can move in it. My parents would so not be happy with me if I did that even though I'm a grown *** adult at almost 24. I could tell them I moved in with my friend Kim to keep them from b*tching at me. OR, just renew my lease at the apartment. That or rent free at my boyfriend's. I am not really sure what I should do. I have a hard time making major decisions due to my depression and anxiety. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[nummy]

1.) can you look for a less noisy, ant-free apartment?
2.) if you do decide to move in with your boyfriend, don't sink all your former rent money into improving the place right away. It would be tempting, but don't do it. Instead, squirrel away aside enough money each month (in your own account!) so that if the situation blows up, you can get away fast. I used to live in a homeless shelter, and can't begin to count the number of women living there who ended up homeless because they didn't look into protecting their interests ahead of time. And if you do move in, make it a "test run" for say, 6 months, with certain goals in mind...like, that other house to have certain repairs on a certain schedule. That way you'll have some idea what a future there is to look like. You don't want to get suckered into an unhealthy situation, or an unsafe one. Get things on paper, no matter what your boyfriend says. Pay some kind of rent...and not with cash. This isn't an either/or: you still have options. If you can't see clearly enough to do this, I think you'd be better off in your own apartment. Just my take on things. Good luck.

[Marshellette]

Repair that apartment and live there. Despite what anyone says about helping out disabled parents at 26 he probably has some growing up to do.

[kittyfaye]

Originally Posted by Marshellette

Repair that apartment and live there. Despite what anyone says about helping out disabled parents at 26 he probably has some growing up to do.

He's actually very mature, he's been through a lot of crap his whole life. Also, he lives in a small town that doesn't have any apartments or rent houses. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

[nummy]

Of course you should have said something. You're uneasy about something, whether you realize that or not; that's why you asked for advice. I'm sure Marshalette didn't mean to insult your boyfriend; given my experience , I may have thought the same thing.

Just think it over. But whatever you choose, leave your options open. That's just wisdom from some of my own experiences speaking.

[kittyfaye]

Originally Posted by nummy

Of course you should have said something. You're uneasy about something, whether you realize that or not; that's why you asked for advice. I'm sure Marshalette didn't mean to insult your boyfriend; given my experience , I may have thought the same thing.

Just think it over. But whatever you choose, leave your options open. That's just wisdom from some of my own experiences speaking.

Thank you.