Loneliness, normal, constant, unavoidable?

I've been lately thinking that I try to hard to "beat" loneliness, to rid myself of it, to find a way not to feel it. I don't like feeling lonely, but I guess I think it might just be human nature to kind of have it in the background, most or all of the time. I've been reading a bit about loneliness lately, to help me figure it out. I read a book called, "Loneliness as a way of life," (nonfiction) and another one called "The Wall" (a novel about a woman trapped in the woods by an invisible wall), another one called "Alone with others" (nonfiction).

There isn't anything particularly troubling happening in my life right now that makes me feel especially lonely. It's always been this way, as far back as I can remember. I am curious though, about how many of you feel lonely, and how often? What do you do with it when you do feel lonely?

hi Michael
I have been alone for a very long time but I rarely feel lonely. every now and them. but as ashamed as I am to admit it, I have developed and imaginary world that I go to when I am alone and I have people there that dote on me and I think that that helps with my lonliness. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Hi and welcome to PC. You asked what others do with this and I can only relate what I do for myself.
Actually, I think it is a part of my past right now. I rarely feel lonely. When I was though, I volunteered at a hospital. Getting out of my own head was the best thing I could do; I stopped thinking about myself so much and focused my energy where it would do more good.
Negative energy drags me down into depression and I fight it with many strategies. This is just one that comes to mind.
All the best to you as you find the right thing that works for you ~

I have felt really lonely at random times for years now, even in my childhood. Sometimes I just latch on to the loneliness and love the way it feels, and at other times I go off into some imaginary world in my head where I create whatever scenarios appeal to me at the moment.

💀🌊⚡️

I also deal with loneliness by detaching and delving into fantasy. I've been trying not to so much, though. I find that I'm rather obsessive about my fantasies. I've never fit in, so I've always been pretty lonely. It could be in the background all the time, I guess, but I only ever notice it when it becomes soul-crushing. Apparently in order to combat it, you have to go out and talk to these mythical beings called humans. Good luck.

I think that loneliness is the root of a lot of the evil in the world.

I think lack of empathy is the root of most, if not all evil in the world. If people were more empathetic, I don't think so many people would be lonely.

Ah, yes I do feel a bit lonely, but intimately.

I have only one friend and close supporting family members.

If that one friend were to go away, then I would have no one in my generation to be with.

I fear that once I live out on my own as an adult one day that I may not be able to find a mate. I will truly be all alone by then.

I'm not so sure it's human nature from looking at the social butterflies I've known, but I do believe that there's always some degree of separation between people when it comes to understanding and trust. For those of us who aren't good at connecting to others, it might become a canyon.

I feel loneliness at times, it comes and goes. Like right now, I feel a little lonely, but I don't let it bother me too much. I just try and occupy myself with the internet and tv.

I'm an only child and learned a long time ago how entertain myself, so I don't feel lonely very often and when I do I usually get one the interenet or take a nap. Usually when I feel really lonely it's when I'm majorly depressed and no person can get through.

I was an only child as well, so I also learned how to entertain myself and how to be alone. However, I'm constantly lonely. Even with other people around, I know I don't belong. Even when I tried to create imaginary friends, they hurt me (or rather, told me to hurt myself). I tried finding new groups of people and tried to figure out who I needed to be in order to be friends with them. Unfortunately, I don't know how to be anyone but myself, and if you want friends, you have to be anything but yourself. The whole "be yourself" thing is B.S. unless who you are is "normal" and acceptable.

For me anyway, I need to accept that I'll never be close to people and "friends" will always be superficial. Everyone else has been part of their group for years; how dare I try to become a part of that. I guess just accept and get used to being alone and you'll at least feel less lonely.

i love to be alone. its a different kind of experience.

I only feel lonely when I need the support that no one can or willing to give me
Bored isn't loneliness right?

lonliness is a part of life....some people need someone around all the time....maybe that's worse

Thanks for all the responses. Some very insightful and thoughtful comments.

I understand what some of you are saying when you describe being with others yet feeling like you don't belong anyway. I can be with people I know, don't know, and anything in between, and at times, for reasons that are not readily apparent, feel very lonely. On the other hand, I spend quite a bit of time alone out of choice. I have a cabin I go to with my dogs, and no one else, at least once a month. I might spend 3 or 4 days there, not talking to anyone except my dogs, some birds, a deer or two, and the trees (realizing that, with the exception of the dogs to some extent) they don't hear or understand me. These times are enjoyable to a point. I want to get to a point where loneliness doesn't bother me anymore, regardless of where it happens, in the city, at my home with my family, or out in the woods on a long hike. I want to embrace it if I can as a normal part of my life, of life in general, if that is truly possible.