I was just wondering. You see it a lot on TV. I'm thinking, for example, Cousin Itt from The Addams Family, Cousin Oliver from The Brady Bunch, and Cousin Pearl from The Beverly Hillbillies. Many people do call their aunts and uncles Aunt or Uncle So-and-so, and others just call them by their names. But does anyone in real life actually call their cousins Cousin So-and-so? I've never seen it done except in fiction.

What other things do we see all the time in books, TV, movies, etc., but nobody does in real life?

[Trippin2.0]

Here its sometimes expected from children to address your older cousins ( like old enough to be your parent older) as Cousin So and So.

Not a very common thing as such huge age differences in family members aren't all that common, but a "thing" we were taught as children nonetheless.

That makes sense. Also another explanation occurred to me. It might be proper in some societies to use the formal title for a parent's cousin. That person is probably of an earlier generation. Therefore, you would address your mother's cousin as Cousin Millie, while your mother simply calls her Millie. Similarly, you would not say Cousin John to your own cousin, but your children would.

That makes a whole lot more sense, although our family never did that. Then again, we don't generally say Aunt Mary or Uncle Joe either. Our parents' siblings were simply called by their names, just as their cousins were. Until I got older and didn't feel right about it because of other values, even my great-aunts and great-uncles were just Opal or Charlie. I don't remember ever being told I should use the title, until I imposed the Aunt Opal and Uncle Charlie thing on my own self.

If I had it to do over again, I'd call my first-generation aunts and uncles by title too. I guess I'm getting stuffier and more formal in my old age. Then again, my nephew calls me by my name alone, and I don't care that he doesn't put Aunt in front of it. I suppose it would be nice, but I'm not going to ask him to, because nobody else in the family does that.

When we were younger, it did raise some eyebrows, especially since there are some slightly less typical circumstances. One of my aunts had special needs. Back then, "retarded" was the polite and proper term, and I was actually accused of singling her out for that reason. My ex's mother was shocked. "She's your aunt! Just because she's retarded doesn't mean you shouldn't respect her!" Well, I agree, I shouldn't treat her any different from any other aunt or uncle. If I had called the rest of my aunts and uncles by title, I would have done the same with her. I would certainly not have addressed her sister as Aunt Donna while simply calling her Barbara. I also have an uncle who was only six years old when I was born and was more like a sibling or cousin to me than an uncle, but my former MIL gave me the same speech. I should respectfully address him as Uncle David, regardless of his age, because he is my uncle.

But is it the kinship that matters, or the generation?

[Fresia]

I once had a roommate and another friend that had a very large extended families that did this. The youngest generations in particular did refer to cousins with this title when discussing them in conversation because many of them were named after elders somewhere up the line and this helped distinguish which one in the family/generation they were referring to in conversation as opposed to the aunts and uncles or grandparents. However, if they were in person, such as when we were out to dinner, they just called them by their first names but at family reunions or gatherings, they were always called by their titles. It was proper respect.

From a practical standpoint, coming from parents of only children, so no cousins to speak of let alone no aunts or uncles, and a very small family even further back, this did help to try to keep all the relations straight, especially when you have, say, 8 Michaels, 5 Lisas, etc......knowing who were the Cousins Michaels as opposed to the Uncles Michaels made a real difference.

There are multiples in this family too, more than one Eric, Michael, Pamela, and Barbara, so I get you on the practicality. On the respect, I do wonder, what trumps? The age or the nature of the kinship? My uncle is only six years older than I am, but my former MIL felt that I should have called him Uncle David regardless of his age. But then this conflicts with the logic of calling cousins your own age by their names, but older cousins Cousin So-and-so. What if your aunt or uncle is actually younger than you are, which isn't very common nowadays, but is possible? Are they addressed by title because they are aunt or uncle, or simply by their names because they are not your elder?

[Fresia]

I have no idea; you raise some really good points!

To me and for our family, it is age that respects the title more the kinship. Cousin is just not used. I could not see calling someone younger than me, Aunt or Uncle. I would have to call them by their first names. In some families though this would be very disrespectful and would just not be done; the title would be used even if it was infant. It is the elders that are called by their titles for our family but know this is different for others, respectfully so.

How's this for a loop though....I have a 3rd Cousin removed that I call Aunt? She is much, much older than I am and "cousin" just did not seem to fit, she is more like mentor and confidante of an Aunt. It confuses people though when I refer to her because many know my 'Rents were only children.

[doppeling]

The genotation I'm in of my family... When we where little we would say uncle -name- or aunti -name-, now we just say -name-. But if we haven't seen eachother in some time we'll be like "cuz!!! wazzzap" that's about it... But I guess in some places it could be considered proper to state the title of relation before the name.

[SnakeCharmer]

My family always called the scattered cousins by Cousin So and So. Still do. Never thought of it as odd. Maybe it's a regional or ethnic tradition.

[healingme4me]

My Maine family, we do this. Denotes there's perhaps a second generation in being cousins. Easier to say cousin so and so then thats so and so, they are twice, thrice removed on so and so's side and related this way on the family tree. ..

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

My siblings and I grew up all over the place, but primarily in the South and the Midwest, largely Kentucky. My parents were both born in the Midwest (Ohio and Michigan) but spent a considerable part of their youth in California. Oddly enough, considering that my parents met, dated, and married in California, three of my four grandparents have their roots in Kentucky with the one remaining being a Michigander. Most of the relatives on my mother's side are in rural or suburban Kentucky. My father's side is now mainly concentrated around southern Indiana with some branches in nearby states. I suppose this would make me South Midland by culture. My speaking accent reflects it to a T.

But I've never heard a relative on either side of the family referred to as Cousin So-and-so, except once, and it was in jest. The context was, my mother's aunt, uncle, and cousin were visiting, and were being introduced to other guests. When she said, "my cousin Gary," somehow the sound of it struck her funny. She giggled and repeated "Cousin Gary" with an exaggerated rural accent. That was pretty common with her. She liked to make fun of people from the country. It wasn't the only time I've heard her mock the accent. These very relatives being of that description, from rural Kentucky, I wonder now if they took offense and just didn't show it.

[Maven]

Much of my family is from Kentucky, but we don't refer to each other as Cousin So-and-so. Not on my dad's side, which is the New Jersey side, either.

[Abram]

I call my Aunts and Uncles by their title and first names and so do my younger siblings but my older siblings don't. My Nieces and Nephews call me by my first name but my great Nieces and Nephews all call me by the title Uncle and a pet name. go figure. I guess it is all in how you are raised.

A few other variations:

In Little Women, the girls called their father's sister Aunt March. It was her last name, not her first. In Matilda, when Miss Honey turned out to be Miss Trunchbull's niece, she made reference to Aunt Trunchbull. But in real life I've never heard anyone say Aunt or Uncle Last Name. It's always Aunt or Uncle First Name.

With grandparents, it's mixed. Some people say Grandma and Grandpa Last Name, as my family and I have always done when we needed to specify which grandparent. I have in real life heard people say Grandma Jane or Grandpa John. In my experience it's not as common as Grandma Johnson or Grandpa Smith, although it may be more common than Aunt Johnson or Uncle Smith. My stepson does that with his grandparents, calls them by title and then first name, and I also notice that in Back to the Future II, Marty's daughter Marlene calls her grandmother Grandma Lorraine. If it had been my family, she would have been Grandma McFly.

[Slamjammer]

>>>What other things do we see all the time in books, TV, movies, etc., but nobody does in real life?<<<

How about "please" or "thank you"...maybe "yes ma'am", "no ma'am", "yes sir", "no sir".

Civility doesn't cost much. Wish we had more of it.

[Maven]

While I agree in general with you, Slamjammer, I still hate being called, "Ma'am." Makes me feel old! ;D

Recently I said "ma'am" to a young lady, and then made sure to tell her I'm from the South and I say "ma'am" to every woman over 18. Because I've learned there are women who do take it as "I'm old."

[glok]

I never have.