For all pet owners

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

> > Dear Dogs and Cats,

> > The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
>other
> > dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print
>in
> > the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming
> > your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in
the slightest.

> > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
>Beating me
> > to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
>fall
> > faster than you can run.

> > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
>about
> > this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
>your
> > comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep.
>It
> > is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out
to
>the
> > fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight
out
>and
> > having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is
nothing
>but
> > sarcasm.
> >
> > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
by
> > some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
is
>not
> > necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
paw
>under
> > the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same
>door
> > I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine
or
> > feline attendance is not required.
> >
> > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
>butt. I
> > cannot stress this enough!
> >
> > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
>our
> > front door:
> >
> > To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
> >
> > 1. They live here. You don't.
> > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
>furniture.
> > (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
> > 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
> > 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
>who is
> > short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
> >
> > Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because
>they:
> > 1. Eat less
> > 2. Don't ask for money all the time
> > 3 Are easier to train
> > 4. Normally come when called
> > 5. Never ask to drive the car
> > 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
> > 7. Don't smoke or drink
> > 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
> > 9. Don't want to wear your clothes
> > 10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
> >
> > And finally,
> >
> > 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!

....... ....... .......

I have a cat...

That is perfect......just perfect!

I just bought the first dishes ever with paw prints!!!
I was considering going down to a queen bed, but thought better of it.

i am falling off my chair laughing........thank you so much for posting this............

Someone's had good experience with dogs and cats. If my cat could read, I'd post the bathroom door thingy on my door. LOL His paw looks cute, though, reaching for something that isn't there.

I have a dog and cat, I will read that to them. LOL