[H3rmit]

I just had the experience of someone contacting me on social networking, when I haven't seen them in over 30 years. It's an old college friend from my earliest days in college! I was delighted, wondered how he's doing. I reconnected on the (professional) social networking.

But then I thought more deeply about the email he sent me. It now seems preposterous to me that he would want to reconnect for the art-related purpose he mentions, and preposterous that he would believe the flattering things he said. If he really thought that, why didn't he stay in touch? Okay, maybe I shouldn't second-guess. It's not like what he said was over the top. What he said was basically true (flattery), but since he's in an art-related field, I'm surprised he wouldn't have lots of other people he's rather collaborate with. In short, I feel suspicious. I'm certainly not going to meet him except in a very public place where I can make a safe getaway. I'm very curious to find out how he's done, though I suspect it's not the greatest to say the least.

No one has ever contacted me this way before. That's how much of an H3rmit I am. In fact, our friendship at the time was due to me pursuing it. He just went along with it, I felt. I was very intense, and he was very mellowed out for the reasons you would expect, though I didn't realize it as he didn't actually do drugs in front of me. He did that with his other friends. So, it's a very odd situation for me, but I am always curious to revisit and find out about people. After thinking about that email, I googled "old friend" + "social networking scam."

Any thoughts/experiences about such old friends or social networking scams?? The obvious thing is "Don't fall for a fake crisis." I'm not going to do anything I'm not comfortable with, such as lending money and clearing cheques, or meeting up in dark alleys.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I think it doesn't sound like a scam at all. Of course, be careful and safe. Hope it pans out well!

PS
I'm glad you posted your concerns, and I urge you to continue to do so if you feel like something could be dangerous or otherwise malicious. It's better safe than sorry, I say.

[Big Dog]

I have found that the Social Networking scene can be disingenuous. It should be said that,
That is the reason I came here! Hoping that I might interact with some new friends that
Will be a little more sincere. That's the hope at least. "Longing To Be Free"

Big Dog

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Hi there, Big Dog. Fellow "sincere" person over here. I'm a real person, with real feelings, and I promise I'm not made of wood, nor does my nose grow when I tell lies. Lots of us on PC. 8)

[splitimage]

I've had some odd reconnections through social networking sites - my best friend in Kindergarten contacted me via Facebook, and it had been well over 30 years since I'd last seen her. Some High School friends and long lost relatives also connected with me via Facebook. One of the long lost relatives turned out to live in the same city as me, and have some of the same, mental health / addiction issues as me, so we've become quite good friends.

splitimage

[H3rmit]

Updates: so I've exchanged some emails with the guy. It has caused me to reflect upon my life and how much I have changed in 30+ years. We were not much more than 20 years old. Am I even the same person, in any sense? It's very thought-provoking. And of course it's a people thing, so the dealing with it is awkward.

[Big Dog]

Splitimage: congrats on locating someone who has become a good friend with
Whom you share things in common.

I checked out your blog and found it quite compelling, thanks for sharing it.

Hi to everyone else, I have to come back here more often.

I have loads of friends I've reconnected with...people I was friends with back in our teen years, mostly. In these times of social media forums being very popular, I don't find anything suspicious about someone contacting an old friend.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Sister Rags

I have loads of friends I've reconnected with...people I was friends with back in our teen years, mostly. In these times of social media forums being very popular, I don't find anything suspicious about someone contacting an old friend.

Well, there are well known scams that do occur. However in general you're right. I'm not even sure what a friend is, I've had so few. I'm not the kind of person other people are attracted to in any way, generally. So it seems.

I'm sorry, H3mit. Are you comfortable with your intuition...are you sure that others sense you as someone they're not interested in being friends with? I can't say why because I don't really know, but for some reason I get the feeling that you are far more likeable than you perhaps realize.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Sister Rags

Are you comfortable with your intuition...are you sure that others sense you as someone they're not interested in being friends with? I can't say why because I don't really know, but for some reason I get the feeling that you are far more likeable than you perhaps realize.

Thanks. Well, I have few intuitions about people. Nothing so sophisticated as knowing whether they want to be friends or not. No one has ever wanted to spend time with me. No one has ever pursued it. Always I had to pursue it. And even then, they seem to find some reason to disappear. So, no intuitions, just alot of data points. My eyes are kinda wet now and I feel something funny in my stomach. I consider myself to be on the autism spectrum, just based on data points like these throughout my life. Try as I might . . . and I do try . . . but I yam what I yam.

Thank you for your kind reply.

Edit PS I do have a husband, my one real true friend. Again, I was the pursuer!

[healingme4me]

The fact you are reconnecting and at least conversing bodes well.

My initial first thought, as I started reading about professional social networking, made me think of one site in particular, linking up certain addresses to a certain big email server.

First someone very close, got this message from a relative through this social site saying they wanted to connect . we talked about why this way, why now, type of thinking.
Then...just the other day, heard from same site about former coworker that we'd been in outside of work contact a couple of times, BUT...her job title. ..nope, which tied into my hunch. And brought back first conversation and what's the catch in getting various ppl in contact again? What's the business catch?

Not sure if that's close to your story. Can be positive, in ways, I'll contact my former coworker soon, anyways, but not through that site.

H3rmi, I think you must be a very sensitive person.Have you seen this thread? It might have some validity for you. http://forums.psychcentral.com/gener...9-empaths.html

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

My initial first thought, as I started reading about professional social networking, made me think of one site in particular, linking up certain addresses to a certain big email server.

First someone very close, got this message from a relative through this social site saying they wanted to connect . we talked about why this way, why now, type of thinking.
Then...just the other day, heard from same site about former coworker that we'd been in outside of work contact a couple of times, BUT...her job title. ..nope, which tied into my hunch. And brought back first conversation and what's the catch in getting various ppl in contact again? What's the business catch?

Not sure if that's close to your story. Can be positive, in ways, I'll contact my former coworker soon, anyways, but not through that site.

I'm not sure what you're hinting at, but the site is probably Linkedin?

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Sister Rags

H3rmi, I think you must be a very sensitive person.Have you seen this thread? It might have some validity for you. http://forums.psychcentral.com/gener...9-empaths.html

I'm very sensitive, in a sense, mostly to sensory things. I've struggled to have any emotional awareness. I'm no empath, natively. More the opposite: clueless.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by H3rmit

I'm not sure what you're hinting at, but the site is probably Linkedin?

It is that site. I'm not hinting, I'm saying, they sent out unsolicited emails saying ppl want to connect.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

It is that site. I'm not hinting, I'm saying, they sent out unsolicited emails saying ppl want to connect.

You mean the site itself was initiating that suggestion, rather than it being done by individuals?

[healingme4me]

Absolutely, there was no reason that my so's son would communicate after their history, that way. And my former coworker wouldn't display her current employment as anything other than her new employer, not as my employer.

[healingme4me]

After working through college with a data company and witnessing round one of the 'crawler', spider technology. ..I'm sceptical

It was, in my eyes, a how dare them, moment. Who sold what list and where?