[Fleury29]

Every time someone is nice to me, I feel later as though I was used, like someone at work will actually talk to me beyond just hello and work stuff, and I'll find out later that whatever I say is suddenly known by everyone. It's never anything private, but this happens at home at work, pretty much everywhere I have to interact with people more than once. It's not fair. Apparently I can't have friends but everyone else can.

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[gma45]

Hi Fleury29, Sometimes we have to be careful what we share and with whom we share. I know some people at my work I do not complain to because I know right where it will go. And then there are others I would talk to about anything. People skills can be hard sometimes but we can all learn how to handle ourselves with different people. I am sure you will be able to make some good friends one day. Don't rush it.

[Fleury29]

What I'm trying to say is just that ANY conversation with anyone I know seems to be public knowledge and that's just not right.

[Perna]

It could be that people just want to get to know you but find it difficult (if you don't talk/say much). People are interested in other people and if you like vinegar on your fries, that can wander into the conversation when co-workers are having lunch: "Well, Fleury29 likes vinegar with her fries, too, you aren't alone in that, SusieQ! I still prefer ketchup."

If you don't talk to many people, it is easy to imagine that only your stuff is known, not other people's. But we're part of each other's world and have nothing else to "navigate" by? It's like we're all blind so we have to think and talk about who likes what on their fries so we can think about it better, see more choices, and decide what we might like on ours.

I would decide to be flattered that people are interested in me and, like gma45 says, just make sure I paid attention to what I said/did around those who were not friends yet. But people have eyes and ears and nothing much else to think about besides what's going on around them? Many comments aren't positive or negative, they're just "Oh, by the way" sorts of thinking out loud, hoping there are others there and we're not alone.

[Fleury29]

You'd feel flattered if you were pretty much forced to have the same conversation over and over again that no one really ever attempts to get to know you? It's not worth the effort of trying to get to know anyone since all they do is spew back what I said yesterday last week or last month. I'd rather just be a hermit.

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[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Could you be expecting too much from people? Often one encounters very few people that you make a real connection with. You have to put up a pleasant front that encourages people to be nice to you and you try to be nice to them right back, sometimes they are and sometimes not, so it goes. From time to time you meet someone exceptional, you just have to stick at it investing as much time and energy as you feel fit, learning as you go. I don't really like people and am basically unsociable, but neither do I want to be isolated!

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Yes, absolutely.

As for the title, LOL

Seriously though:

Originally Posted by Fleury29

You'd feel flattered if you were pretty much forced to have the same conversation over and over again that no one really ever attempts to get to know you? It's not worth the effort of trying to get to know anyone since all they do is spew back what I said yesterday last week or last month.

True.

However...

Maybe consider that as mentioned, your coworkers want to get to know you but don't feel you say enough for them to actually know you enough. In short, there ends up being nothing to talk about and the only safe topics are those that you've gone over before. And you don't seem to want to get to know them...Hence the repeating exchanges...

[Sprite22]

I have had family and so called friends take advantage of me. It is hard to understand any of it. I also know it was hard to recover from the fall outs. Try to protect yourself, but with balance. I still have to master this myself!

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by floating.feather

As for the title, LOL

Seriously though:


True.

However...

Maybe consider that as mentioned, your coworkers want to get to know you but don't feel you say enough for them to actually know you enough. In short, there ends up being nothing to talk about and the only safe topics are those that you've gone over before. And you don't seem to want to get to know them...Hence the repeating exchanges...

I agree.........with both. Thank you!

[Fleury29]

I always feel as though every conversation is leading me someplace I don't want to go, like trying to get me to admit I steal from work, or any other number of things I don't do. All I want to do is just to have a normal conversation where I don't feel as though the person I just met knew everything about me before hand. Usually if I realize this I just stop talking to the person all together. It always seems these people have formed opinions about me before we've actually met. That's all I want. To meet someone who hasn't been given a random meaningless list of things to say to me. It makes me feel 2. I meant alterior motives but my ipad auto corrected me.