[Alone & confused]

What a conflict of emotions! I HATE LOVE right now!
Love makes you vulnerable
Love makes you care what people think/say
Love makes you worry about where they are, what there doing
Love makes you jealous, feel inferior to other people
Love makes you notice "little" changes in your relationship that makes you suspicious
Love can either heal you, or hurt you......
But right now it's killing me!

[Travelinglady]

I understand what you mean. Love does make us vulnerable.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Indeed. Probably part of the reason why I've been single for a quite a while.

[Arther]

Certainly hasn't helped me. And I feel pressured by other people to constantly give them love or it drains me, makes me feel like I've lost my soul. I still restrict myself from doing it, I don't feel like they deserve it. Coming to me so rude then demanding I pay them reparations. It's certainly killing me.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Arther

Certainly hasn't helped me. And I feel pressured by other people to constantly give them love or it drains me, makes me feel like I've lost my soul. I still restrict myself from doing it, I don't feel like they deserve it. Coming to me so rude then demanding I pay them reparations. It's certainly killing me.

Yep! I always feel like I give more love than I get back....either feel like it's one-sided or unbalanced. Having low self esteem & EXTREME trust issues only makes things worse! I've never had anyone love me enough to help me learn to trust them, and almost every time I get close to believing in someone, I get hurt and made to feel like it was my fault for "whatever reason"! I just want to know what True love really is. Surely it's not meant to hurt this bad, but it does.

[Spaceship]

You put it in words!

[mattieak17]

I've been in love once, but I had to let it go because he didn't feel the same.

It happens =/ and it's hard. I feel ya

[bbearlyhere]

I love my husband. We are getting divorced. Which. I both embrace and hate. Our relationshipreally had a chance until i realuzed he was bi and loved his best friend. The best friend went to prison and my man expected me togo along with it. I tried.itmade ALLmy problems worse. I totally flakedout. I stillllove him and find ithard to let go

[marie4u]

i hate to love ignorance.

[Spaceship]

Originally Posted by Arther

Certainly hasn't helped me. And I feel pressured by other people to constantly give them love or it drains me, makes me feel like I've lost my soul. I still restrict myself from doing it, I don't feel like they deserve it. Coming to me so rude then demanding I pay them reparations. It's certainly killing me.

I hate it when I have to hug someone. In our house its like a routine, hug before school, hug before bed. No love is transferred when we hug. I hate it when people think hugging makes things better. I hate touching people unless I actually love them, and right now that's about no one.

[Alone & confused]

I HATE how I always feel like I'm the only one "present" in my relationship! I feel like I get his LEFTOVER time and attention. NEVER as though he puts me first the way I do him! It's always about what HE wants or needs, his fun, his friends, his happiness, his dog and then I get what's left. If his STUPID FN FRIENDS need anything he's RIGHT THERE! But if it's ME, I usually have to fend for myself! I am so sick of it I can hardly stand it!! I HATE little boys in men's bodies!
SERIOUSLY.....ARE THERE ANY REAL MEN LEFT IN THE WORLD??? I WANT TO MEET ONE!

[Alone & confused]

Loving someone who makes you feel unworthy, left out, left behind and alone is BY FAR THE WORST kind of lonely there is!

[BubonicPlague]

God...

I hate to want to love "him" and believe in "him"...

[Nihil]

It can feel like an inconvenience for me, and I usually try to remain single. I don't get very lonely though fortunately.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Nihil

It can feel like an inconvenience for me, and I usually try to remain single. I don't get very lonely though fortunately.

Sometimes I feel less lonely single than I do in a relationship. And to love someone definitely causes me more stress and heartache and complications than being single does! That's why I say I hate to fall in love!

[bcohen141]

I am avoiding relationships.. because I am UNEMPLOYED. but even when i was EMPLOYED.. i found it hard to meet available females ......NY city is a rather inpersonal place. People are really into image, and trendiness...

[Ozisl]

I actually tend to love codependent, deeply entangled romances... though I haven't had a relationship in far too many years.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Ozisl

I actually tend to love codependent, deeply entangled romances... though I haven't had a relationship in far too many years.

Deeply entangled romances yes! But I always find myself in relationships where I Give more love and affection than I get back. Then when all I've got to give is gone, so is what little attention I was able to get outof him and I am left an empty, broken vessel. I'm Cinderella without the fairy godmother or Prince Charming and by No means am I allowed to go to the Ball!

[Ozisl]

I am terrified of how caustic my conditions are and how demanding I would be on someone... if I knew someone I wanted to know romantically and loved them, I wouldn't want to hurt them by hanging myself around her neck. So... someone good enough for me to love is someone I wouldn't hurt by being with.

Though I have regrets about people I've sailed by and skipped over in the past.

I count it as fortunate that my meds absolutely murder my libido.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Ozisl

I am terrified of how caustic my conditions are and how demanding I would be on someone... if I knew someone I wanted to know romantically and loved them, I wouldn't want to hurt them by hanging myself around her neck. So... someone good enough for me to love is someone I wouldn't hurt by being with.

Though I have regrets about people I've sailed by and skipped over in the past.

I count it as fortunate that my meds absolutely murder my libido.

My libido usually lies dormant unless I'm hypomanic or stimulated, otherwise I don't think much about it.
I have a hard time holding on to a good man, and an even harder time getting rid of the bad ones! I don't see a "happily ever after" anywhere in my future!

"I hate myself for loving you!
Can't break free from the things that you do,
I wanna walk,
But then I run back to you (that's why)
I hate myself for loving you"

It's an all too familiar theme. I don't feel appreciated; but then I am made to feel that I should KNOW I am. And then certain things are expected from me.....but I'm HERE..I DO love you....if certain conditions are not met then I dont love you? No, its that you don't feel that I love you because I dont do these certain things. But I DO love you!
It's the most uncomplicated complex thing in the world.

[Ford Puma]

Love is what love does.
Love does what love is.

I don't think I hate loving someone, it is hating needing that person. I've finally realized love means unconditionally accepting everything about that person. Needing and wanting are completely different things. Sex isn't love. (I think it is sacred and meant for marriage though). It can take a while to find someone that you could "spend your life" with, or live with in a marriage that wouldn't drive you insane, or want to wring their neck for all their idiosyncrasies....
I would love to have what I never did. Someone who accepts me as I am and I the same for them. I've given up on the idea, and need to find ways to be happy alone.