[hvert]

I sometimes feel like an alien because I don't 'get' pretty stuff. I mean, I can find something nice to wear and put on make up, but it's an effort and I don't really see much of a difference. As I get older, I just accept that other people see the difference and leave it at that, but i wonder what I am missing out on... and if I really should be doing it far more often than I do.

I walked around the mall yesterday, which I never do, and was noticing all the make up stores, home decorating stuff -- I don't get it. I saw a fake wreath at Pier 1 for $119 and can't imagine wanting to spend that much money on something that I hang up for four months. I am not saying it is wrong to do that, just that I don't understand.

I am going to invest some money in Christmas decorations this year to see if I notice any difference. We do put up a tree and I set out a few lights, but we don't do much else. I sort of feel like there is no point since I really need to repaint, not hang up stuff, but...

[Travelinglady]

It could just be your personality, hvert. Different people value different things. I am not much on make-up and frilly stuff, but I do enjoy decorating my house for every season and holiday. And I enjoy looking at store decorations. I see nothing wrong with doing as much or little as you like.

I wouldn't spend that much for a wreath either!

[hvert]

I hadn't been in a Pier One since I was a kid, so I really had sticker shock at that wreath and some of the other decorations!

I just wish that I 'got it' sometimes, that I could understand what other people see. Like knowing that you can't wear sneakers with a skirt because it looks bad - it just looks normal to me! It's sort of like wanting to know what my cat thinks

Do you like candles ? I light a candle I enjoy the smell and looking at the little fire

[eskielover]

Ugh....when I had my engineering career & was married to a computer engineer also......we would look at things & they were "a gotta have".....now I look at things & say....I can admire....I don't have to take it home.....I am happier not having things than I was when I did.

Don't know why, I always wanted to wear cloths that matched & always like the nice shoes or boots to go with my skirts......& knock around jeans always got the tennis shoes.....don't even know actually where I got that from other than observing the world around me growing up.

Forget the makeup........I have so many allergies...one time I went to one of those make up parties from this girl I went to college with...my eyes were swollen shut & itching by the end of that makeup party.....I hate putting stuff on my face.....I bought it...never used it after I quit working & even then, I quit using makeup because I would play racquetball at lunch with the guys & sweat & makeup don't mix & never had time after playing then taking a shower during lunch hour......the guys don't use makeup....why should I????? I find it a waste of time personally....& now I'm usually flying out the door & if my head wasn't attached I would forget that also.....so who has time for the makeup stuff anyway.

As for the things in the stores....I actually enjoy making some of the craft things around my house myself.....I get the things it takes to make them & can make it for far less than the over $100 price tags that things have & I get the satisfaction of making it the way I want it to look..

It's not just pretty stuff I don't get....it's also the costs that people put on doing services.......I have become a DIY'er.....mechanic, plumber, carpenter. Anything that I can do easy enough.....I refuse to hire someone to do it when it's something I can do within reasonable amount of time.....I didn't have the tools or the knowledge to lay the linoleum in my master bedroom....so things like that get hired....but other things that I can afford to buy the tools to do.....no point in hiring someone to do a lousy job anyway.

I have made my master bath shower my retreat. I love having a candle burning while showering....the smell is so wonderful with the steam of the shower & it is relaxing.

[hvert]

I almost bought a candle today! I think I would like to get one of those wax melting things as I had an experience where a candle jar broke and it really scared me. I do like them, though.

Eskie, I am a DIYer too, but I lack the patience to do things nicely sometimes. I joined a gardening group that I almost quit because it seemed very focused on flower arranging, but I actually had fun making a flower arrangement! The other people can help me fix everything up so it looks nice

I never got the memo on what clothes look right with what and too often forget to even brush my hair all the way through before I go out.

[BeBrave483]

I love pretty stuff myself, but I want to say it's ok to not like it too. You can like or dislike whatever you want and that doesnt make you wrong or anything at all. It would be boring if everyone liked the same things. I have felt lately too that I "should" like or dislike certain things because of different factors. But the truth is there is no right or wrong when it comes to personal taste. So long as you're not hurting anyone of course, but I do t see how not liking pretty things could be hurting anyone. Don't feel you need to make yourself like them if you don't. Life is too short to limit ourselves. I would just say, like whatever makes you happy and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!

[BeBrave483]

Originally Posted by hvert

I never got the memo on what clothes look right with what and too often forget to even brush my hair all the way through before I go out.

Lol, I'm guilty as charged also! I have my own personal "style" I just wear whatever I want with whatever else I want! I like crazy whacky stuff too, my parents are often embarrassed to be seen in public with me lol, but I find that most amusing (yeah, I'm a little strange!) I'm doing well if I actually brush my hair too lol. Lately I've taken to just wearing a hat so I don't need to worry about it. Though I don't like caps, I find them a bit uncomfortable but I recently bought a nice (in my opinion anyway lol) beanie hat which I love and it's really comfy, so I've ordered two more! They were literally a pound each with free shipping, I don't believe in spending loads either, you really don't need to either, I mean who is going to know? Hope my comments help you feel less worried about it

[Perna]

I think it is just personality and cultural teaching and upbringing. We like certain colors and arrangements of objects and to us that is "pretty"? Some things make us feel better than others like some foods taste better to us than others. I always feel lost like you describe when cooking shows start on oysters, truffles, and fine wines, etc. Give me a good, sturdy beef stew over beef bourguignon any day

That's great you are going to experiment with new stuff this year. My husband and my Christmas has gotten really basic/bare bones and I find I don't like that, it makes me feel lonely and left out so I'm trying to spruce things up (sorry for the pun :-) a bit myself.

Hi hvert: Yeah... I'm in my mid 60's & I feel exactly the same way, & have for quite a long time. My wife & I haven't decorated for the holidays in years. And a $119 wreath? Forget it! I don't know how old you are. But I do believe the perspective you're encountering is something that develops gradually as we age. My wife & I have been heading that direction for many years.

[Ripose]

I've only seen my wife once with make up and a pretty dress, she looked like a 60 year old teenager. When we got married we wore comfortable "nice" spring clothes it was just right and enjoyable since we got married outdoors in Sept.
We really don't have many "pretty" things except for the few knickknacks my wife buys, everything else is purely functional and nothing matches, except our socks.

[Pikku Myy]

I do enjoy beautiful "things", but just like you I have a difficult time justifying the cost. I like candles, buying a single flower... better. I do receive the same enjoyment from these than I would from a $119.00 decoration. Hugs

[hvert]

Originally Posted by BeBrave483

Lately I've taken to just wearing a hat so I don't need to worry about it.

This is what I've been doing, too! Winter is always great for me because I can throw on a hat -- but then I have to remember not to take it off when I walk into the store

I just wish that it were more of a choice for me, that I was *choosing* not to bother with this stuff, rather than not 'seeing' it. I'm in my 30s now and have always been like this - even as a kid I would get teased for wearing the wrong sorts of clothes and not matching. I am strongly drawn to certain things visually, but not in any way that's cohesive.

I have made some small improvements this week. The flowers were the biggest bang for the buck. They really brighten up the room and motivated me to pick up the area around them.

Perna, the food analogy is really interesting to me. Food is something I 'get' (although I am not in the more expensive = better camp - simple, rustic food is often the best, bread baked on a stone hearth, mushrooms foraged on a hike). People do cultivate a taste for food, so perhaps there is hope that I can cultivate more of an appreciation of the visual...

[BeBrave483]

Aww I'm sure you're fine just the way you are!