[MiddayNap]

For quite some time now, something has been on my mind-something that, no matter how hard I push it away or how loudly I insist it is nonsense, stays. I am interested in human nature, especially, psychology, and learn everything I can about anything I can. When I began researching Autism Spectrum Disorders and Asperger's Syndrome, I paused. The symptoms for Asperger's seemed quite relatable.
I've been arguing with myself on the subject for months now-perhaps a year. Just because you have a lot of things in common with something doesn't mean you are said thing, Midday. What does it matter if I do have it anyway-I don't think the symptoms of Asperger's are all that odd or detrimental. Aside from meltdowns and shutdowns, which certainly aren't happy things, they all seem perfectly normal. Part of me thinks the other part of me is being ridiculous, as I have seen people who most definitely have Asperger's and I am not like them. Then I remember that everyone is different and Asperger's does not necessarily manifest the same in every person-this is something I know, but have difficulty comprehending.
To satiate my curiosity, I've taken a multitude of online tests over and over again (because I am thorough). I know these tests are not tools to diagnose Asperger's, but I consistently score within range (37) and I can't help but wonder.
I feel similarly to when I learned what Tourette's was. Suddenly, I didn't feel ashamed that I couldn't stop making weird noises and twitches or that I had to even things out. A lot of things made so much sense. And, indeed, Asperger's would explain quite a bit, but I often argue that my life is not negatively impacted in a way I deem important and, therefore, I do not have it.
I don't really know the purpose of this post-to vent, I suppose. I'm not after a diagnosis, as I don't like going to counselors and I don't feel there is anything that can be done. To be completely honest, I'm much too stubborn to change anyway.
I don't know why it bothers me so. I know I can't possibly be an Aspienne, but there is always a small voice present in my mind which continually challenges that conclusion.
Bah! I'm being ridiculous and that is that.

Are you comfortable with this self diagnosis? Does it answer questions for you? Give you comfort as a result or is it difficult for you? What are you going to do armed with this information. I suggest seeing your 'help'.

[MiddayNap]

I have not self-diagnosed, as I still do not believe I have Asperger's. It does, however, "answer questions" for me, which I suppose is why part of me does believe I may have it. I have no information, only speculation, but if I were to get a definitive answer, nothing would change which is why this is so ridiculously pointless. I don't understand your last sentence; the quotations are a bit confusing.

[Septembersrain]

I too actually fit a lot for Aspergers. I always wonder as I defeated dyslexia but math still has me down.

I have ticks, quirks, and a lot of repetition. Like with music, my schedule, my habits, etc.

So I think I've pondered what you have too.

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