Running away

Tomorrow I have a long trip planned. I don't even know why I'm going on this trip but it is way out of my comfort zone and I'm nervous. I guess the best explanation is that I need something to look forward to. But I feel this is an empty solution - much like an alcoholic saying he's going to cut back. Because when I get back I'll be alone again and I don't want to be - you can want until your skin falls off but it still doesn't make friends materialize. Actually I don't want just a friend I want somebody who deeply cares about my well being - selfish yes but I just think it's my turn. Today I tried to tell people that I was taking a long trip - but judging from their response it was a waste of time and left me dead inside. As the departure hour approaches I get more anxious because I know that I will be alone in a strange land - at least at home I have my channel changer and my bed. I keep picturing myself being the most miserable tourist ever wishing I was back safely tucked in the couch cushions sanctuary. So Bon voyage to this lost soul hoping he can squeeze something out of paradise lost. Which way - anywhere but here.

Have fun?

Are you sure this is what you want to do? When you get back, why not try to be on this forum and post on threads. Also you will make friends on here that are kind and supportive.