will you sit with me?

lizardlady · Apr 10, 2015, 07:22 PM

I'm having a rough go tonight. My sister-in-law called tonight to tell me father-in-law passed away yesterday. I haven't seen him for several years (long story), but we were close.

I posted about this in the grief forum, but this forum feels more like my "home" at PC. I'm finding that I'm not in a good place to reply to folks tonight. I'm not even getting any pleasure out of the threads that normally bring a smile to my face.

When I'm hurting I need to just sort of sit and let it be. Is anyone willing to just sit with me tonight?

Wren_ · Apr 10, 2015, 07:31 PM

((((Liz)))) I just read your other thread

It would be an honour to sit here with you for as long as you need ...
no replies needed

gayleggg · Apr 10, 2015, 08:01 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. I will be glad to sit with you, too.

Best wishes, Gayle
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Crazy Hitch · Apr 10, 2015, 09:27 PM

I sit with you. Thank you.

Wren_ · Apr 10, 2015, 10:19 PM

Just checking back in

sideblinded · Apr 10, 2015, 10:25 PM

gently holding your hand LizardL....

lizardlady · Apr 10, 2015, 10:31 PM

You all prove how wonderful PC folks are.

I unplugged from the computer for awhile and watched some TV. I'm back here until I can convince myself to get some sleep.

Wren_ · Apr 10, 2015, 11:31 PM

glad you checked back on here

hope there was something good on tv ... or something distracting at least

possum220 · Apr 11, 2015, 12:20 AM

I will sit with you Liz. I can even do the night shift as I am awake while you sleep. People are so precious to us. It's sad when they have to leave. I can make you a cup of tea or coffee anytime you want.

Apr 11, 2015, 06:50 AM

i'll still sit with you Liz, i'll bring the snacks

BeaFlower · Apr 11, 2015, 07:40 AM

Sorry if I arrive late. It's good that you posted here. I'm here with you too

Smileonmyface · Apr 11, 2015, 07:44 AM

I will sit with you. I am so sorry for your loss.

lizardlady · Apr 11, 2015, 10:45 AM

I need to vent while I sit here.

I understand my sister-in-law is trying to cope with the loss of her father. I understand. I really do. BUT she is the kind of person who wants what she wants RIGHT NOW!

There is a SNAFU that she wants to fix before my father-in-law can be buried. Sorry, this is going to be complex.... The parent-in-laws had a three grave plot at the cemetery. Mother-in-law is buried in one. Brother-in-law is buried in one. My hubby's ashes are buried in the third one. The SNAFU is that hubby and his brother were supposed to be in the same grave. As it stands they have to move hubby's ashes so father-in-law can be buried.

I told my sister-in-law I'm fine with them moving the ashes. It seems there is some form I have to sign so the funeral home can have the ashes moved. I suggested they fax the form to my office and I will sign it Monday. Sister-in-law is not planning on having the funeral for a couple of weeks so waiting until Monday would not hold up funeral plans.

This morning sister-in-law called. She was totally confused about where I work and where I live. Have lived in the same place since 1990 and worked at the same place since 2003.

First she wanted me to drive to the funeral home - which is on the other side of the state! Then she said there might be a problem with me signing the forms at work on Monday because my signature needs to be notarized. I assured her there is a notary in our office. Then she wanted to know if I could meet the funeral home folks at another location tomorrow.

Jeeze louise! Let them fax me the stupid form at the office. I will sign it, have it notarized and return it to them the same danged day! But no, I'm supposed to rearrange my weekend to do things on her timetable.

I ended up e-mailing the funeral home folks myself and gave them permission to contact me directly so we can work this out.

All this nonsense if opening old wounds I thought had healed. Things involving her always had to be on her terms. If hubby's whole family was getting together it had to be at her convenience. If she wanted to get together early on a Saturday, even though hubby and I worked until 2 AM we got together early on Saturday. That sort of thing. At one point when my father-in-law was in the hospital I was told I could not visit him because it was "family only." OK, I'm not a blood relation, but I was married to their son for 23 years!

Time to log off. I'm getting myself all worked up. Am going out to the barn to play with the horses for awhile.

avlady · Apr 11, 2015, 10:53 AM

i sit with you all day long if you want and will pray too.

BeaFlower · Apr 11, 2015, 11:36 AM

I understand that you're frustrated about this liz. Maybe in future you can try to talk to her about her behavior, if you want...when you both aren't under stress for a funeral. Now just try to relax with your horses and with us

Nammu · Apr 11, 2015, 11:53 AM

Sorry I didn't see this sooner Liz. I hope your room is big enough for everyone here that will gladly sit with you.

let's enjoy a warm drink. (Sitting)I have plenty for everyone.

Saekeola · Apr 11, 2015, 12:05 PM

I will sit next to you. I can bring some music if you want.

BeaFlower · Apr 11, 2015, 01:41 PM

I bring many hugs

sideblinded · Apr 11, 2015, 03:05 PM

lizardlady,

I can understand your frustration. Your sister in law is asking too much. I am sorry that you have to contend with all of this and I am sure it is bringing up a lot of emotions for you. I really hope that a fax will work. That does sound like the way to go. Even mailing an expedited notarized form will get there in time.

I am glad that you have horse therapy.

lizardlady · Apr 12, 2015, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeaFlower

I understand that you're frustrated about this liz. Maybe in future you can try to talk to her about her behavior, if you want...when you both aren't under stress for a funeral. Now just try to relax with your horses and with us

I've tried talking to her about this sort of thing in the past. It was like spitting in the wind.

I did have a nice time with the horses.

lizardlady · Apr 12, 2015, 09:05 AM

a follow up to my rant....

One day this might be funny. After all of my sister-in-law's panic about the paperwork had to be signed this weekend. We got an e-mail from the funeral home. The person in charge of all this is off for the weekend so everything has to wait until Monday anyhow. PLUS, the funeral/memorial service is scheduled for May 2nd. Plenty of time to deal with paperwork!

On a happier note - I got a really nice ride yesterday. Kyote was a very good boy. Did the inside of me a world of good.

Nammu · Apr 12, 2015, 01:24 PM

I'm glad things are a bit more relaxed and that your horse is so understanding. I'll still sit with you for a while.

GandalfTW · Apr 12, 2015, 03:06 PM

Gandalf would love to sit with you but he'd rather dance with you under a full moon in an underpass.

lizardlady · Apr 12, 2015, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GandalfTW

Gandalf would love to sit with you but he'd rather dance with you under a full moon in an underpass.

Gandalf, I appreciate the offer, but I can't dance worth a lick. We'd be safer sitting.

GandalfTW · Apr 12, 2015, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Gandalf, I appreciate the offer, but I can't dance worth a lick. We'd be safer sitting.

Ah,lizardlady thank you for your response but i can teach dance and safety should not be a concern for i am the orchestrator of this underpass and no-one ever defies Gandalf.

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