I committed a social un-politically correct faux pas

I like to watch movies and make comments. The movie, Every Secret Thing, is about a very overweight girl who is also a psychopath. The actress, who is fat, did an amazing job. I commented, "The fat girl deserves an Oscar." I certainly didn't say that to be demeaning or derogatory. That was the whole essence of the movie. One member there ranted and jumped all over me for using the word "fat." He is like a politically correct Nazi. So, I've been corrected. I will certainly be more careful from now on using the word fat, even though I didn't mean anything bad. Help me understand this. It seems political correctness is pervasive these days.

That does seem like an overboard reaction from your friend. When I read your comment, I thought of the phrase "it's not over until the fat lady sings", which isn't any kind of slur, but a tongue-in-cheek reference to opera.

I think some of the "reaction" to people calling someone fat (or skinny) is positive. It would be good if we all learned not to shame people for their size. (I'm not saying that you were doing anything of the sort - you obviously weren't.)

It sounds like your friend isn't very discerning and has decided that any comment about anyone's weight, EVER, is bad. Sometimes you just have to let things slide off your back, especially if you try to explain and it's not accepted.

In this instance, you chose solely her negative physical attribute, fat, to identify her rather than calling her the lead actress, the blonde girl, or use the character's name. You may want to ask yourself why you did that and if you'd like to be identified in the same way. Also, it may bother other people who you're talking to if they hear you identifying people in that way, like you might similarly reduce them to a single negative trait.

That said, people do a pretty bad job of explaining this and immediately jump to level 5 "I'm extremely offended."

In the future, when you're referring to people or identifying them it's worth thinking about how you do so just so you don't touch on something that may be a struggle for them or really hurt them. Weight and other things can fall into that category. That one member who jumped all over you may have had weight struggles. Think of it as conscientiousness, not political correctness. This is a courtesy to the people you're directly interacting with.

Hello, in the UK its PC is hated , that's because its misrepresented and misunderstood .

Its not about wagging or pointing fingers, or correction or politics .

My slips have always been when I talk to people when depressed anxious low confidence , I tend to negate myself and do what Romans do in Rome so to speak.

I could go on.

Yeah sorry to hear that seeker. Hang in there. I get people in my personal life who over react too when I mean no ill harm just like you

Your morals are virtuous and true and I'm sorry that your intent was unfortunately mistaken for anything but that

i don't use the word "fat" when i talk about others. (at least not to their faces) but i see where you are coming from. It can sometimes be so hard and even useless and pointless to always concern yourself with "politically correct" words or phrases. as long as you didn't mean it in a bad way others should really mind their own.

I just pulled up the movie on IMDB. Im guessing the actress was chosen for the part because of her size, the better to contrast with the other teen? In which case, i really dont see anything wrong with what you said. Sounds like the guy likes to hear himself talk. If your butt is bigger than his, then i think you have the "droit de grosseur" and can use whatever word you want!

Soooo, its not ok to describe people as fat even when they are fat????


Then why the hell is it ok to call me thin?????????????????????????

Double standards much?


FTR, I just WILL describe someone as fat because like I said, its acceptable to describe me as thin.


It's not a slur, its not a curse word, its not a derogatory term. It's an adjective.

Nobody cringes when we call babies fat. The world needs to grow up.

I used the 'f' (fat) word when talking to my sister who is overweight a couple of years ago. I don't usually use that word - it just slipped out - and it wasn't in relation to her but she took me down a couple of notches over it. I know it is really her issue because she is so sensitive over the weight she had gained but I suppose it doesn't hurt to be cautious with describing or labeling people in any way. That said, you can do your best and still step on someone's toes occasionally. Like me, you meant no harm.

Maybe today's PC is what yesterday's generation called 'good manners'?

I would not worry about it. The world still turns and you can make edgy comments in future or not as you please.

My best friend is extremely overweight. My friend is very sensitive about her weight. I suspect that made me more aware of the hurtful affect of the word "fat." That said, you did not use the word in a hurtful way Seeker. I believe we have all used words that others did not like. Perhaps you could have told your friend you were sorry for using a word that offended him. Then moved on.

FWIW, I think your friend's reaction was a bit extreme, but as others have pointed out, maybe there is something in his past that makes this a particularly sensitive subject. If he is one of those people who likes to make a big deal out of everything, he needs to get over himself.