[Maven]

I just need to vent. I'm so in over my head. There's so many things making me miserable. Fleas! We are infested, and the I'm covered in flea bites all over my legs. The itching is maddening. I use Cortizone 10 cream, which helps, but it gets all over everything. The fleas don't bother my boyfriend.

My boyfriend doesn't want anyone to help us clean up the house. My room is what I mostly want. My OCD is going through hell. I got a storage unit and my boyfriend says we'll move my totes full of books and other possessions to the storage unit "a little at a time." And I think he means only on the weekends. I think this could literally take two months or more, and then there's the cleaning to do and more. Don't get me wrong; he works, sometimes on the weekends, too, but I am going crazy!

I've had my new computer since January, and we need to clean up and make space for the computer. I feel like crap.

Everyday is pretty much the same. Sleep in one position, get up, get ready and get out ASAP. Then go to dinner or a movie, there's usually nothing else to do. I then shop for things needed (groceries and whatnot), maybe stop and sit in the local park for awhile, and head home. Then there's feeding the outdoor cats, going inside with cats and kittens running all around (I love the cats, but my OCD hates them), and I'm pouring sweat, so I'm trying to cool off at this time. Then bedtime, where I do a little Facebooking or reading, and the cycle starts all over again, day after day.

I want to start writing, but I really need my computer to do it, because I have to type it in the correct format, keep track of submissions, other records, and submit electronically.

I really feel we need more people to help. My boyfriend wants to get the yard completely mowed and get rid of all the overgrowth before I call people to help with the cats. I have two cats not seeming very healthy (and I do have someone willing to take one), and waiting for my boyfriend to get things done is frustrating.

I'm worried about my health. My doctor heard a heart murmur and had me get an ultrasound,plus see a cardiologist. I asked my doctor about joining a gym, and he said I had to wait until the cardiologist clears me to do that. I have to see them again and get the results. I'm not supposed to exert myself, but I have to feed the cats, and I get sweaty and weak just using the bathroom.

Ok, I'll stop here, because I know I get into long posts and I just needed to scream for awhile.

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[Crazy Hitch]

Sorry to hear that Maven.

Woah! Alot going on.

You had me at the fleas ......

But there's just heaps going on!

Apart from your mental health, most notably for me is your current physical health and I just wanted to say that I hope that you get positive results soon! Exercise is a great stress reliever.

I think writing sounds important to you ... or an outlet at least, perhaps you could clear just a small area for that ... it's a start, somewhere, and you can post here more often and let us know how you go

[lizardlady]

Maven, is your computer a laptop? If so, what about going some place with A/C and WiFi to write?

[Maven]

Thanks, you two. My computer is a gaming desktop. However, it's not like a regular desktop you can tote around with you. It's very heavy and meant to mostly stay in one place. It's still in the box, because I have no room for it. I will post a picture with this message, so you can see how big the box is, and it will show you just a small bit of the mess my room (and the rest of the house) is. I'd also worry about theft, as much as I love the idea of carrying my laptop to, say, a bookstore to write.

Thanks for best wishes on my health. I really hope I'm all right. I've also been prescribed Pantoprazole SOD DR 40 mg tabs for acid reflux, but there's a small risk it could speed up, lower, or otherwise affect my heart rate, so I'm a little nervous about taking it, but it will probably be ok.


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[Sabrina]

It doesn't sound like you are getting the best support that you need from your boyfriend at this stage. I have picked this up in previous posts too. I know you love him though so its hard, but he doesn't seem to be helping you right now. I don't know what to suggest in terms of getting the place clean and flea free except to get an organizer or someone in who is professional and help you get going. And an exterminator for the flea problem.

I hear your frustration and hope there is some solution to the overwhelming state you find yourself in.

[Maven]

Thanks, Sabrina. He's not perfect, but neither am I. I'm just hoping he'll get to it soon. My sister says he shouldn't take all the totes and trash out too quickly, because neighbors might see it and then call in a complaint with the city. I can understand that, but at the same time, I think, if I saw my neighbor coming out of his/her home with lots of stuff, I'd think they were moving or be of the mind that if they're cleaning stuff out, there's no need to call the city; they're taking care of the problem. Thanks, again. I just need to vent sometimes. I hate being stuck, and I hate being frustrated.

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