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  #1  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 01:11 AM
MiddayNap MiddayNap is offline
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I wish to clarify that, though I may come off as rude or argumentative, I never mean to be. For as long as I could speak, I've been accused of thinking I know everything, of being insensitive, of going on and on about things, and generally showing a complete disregard for other's emotions. It is rather vexing, because I don't mean to appear that way and I don't quite understand why I do. Because it happens so often in "real life", I assume it must have happened upon this site at least once.

So, in conclusion:
1) I don't mean to be rude. If I seem as such, I am only expressing my opinion in the least tactful way possible. Nothing I say is ever meant as a personal attack.

2) Please don't misinterpret my being opinionated and incredibly long-winded as being argumentative. I genuinely enjoy discussions within which people have differing opinions, as it gives me a chance to learn more about a subject from another point of view. I'm not trying to change your opinion, I am trying to garner more information by sharing my own.

3) It took me years to learn the patterns of social interaction; I am still quite new to it.

4) I am unversed in all things "feelings", so it is difficult for me to comprehend that my words can cause an emotional response in another person. I sometimes attempt the written equivalent of an awkward "there, there" as a precaution. I'm hoping this shows "compassion".

Really, I've tried very hard to improve, but sometimes I don't feel like putting thrice as much thought into how I word things. I am hoping this post is completely unnecessary, but I am well aware that there is a high probability it is not-in which case, this will come in handy.
Hugs from:
*Laurie*, Anonymous327501, Anonymous37868, Anonymous48850, emwell, Fuzzybear, kaliope, Nammu, smartiesparty
Thanks for this!
smartiesparty, ~Christina

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  #2  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 03:09 PM
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kaliope kaliope is offline
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thanks for the heads up. take care
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  #3  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 03:14 PM
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Edward Kenway Edward Kenway is offline
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Social interaction is something I am learning as its easier for me than in real life. So fire away and vent your spleen if you want
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  #4  
Old Oct 30, 2015, 11:18 PM
MiddayNap MiddayNap is offline
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Everyone is so lovely and understanding.
Honestly, I feel a sort of panic anytime I go onto a social website-the two being this one and facebook-because I worry something I've said might've upset someone. This applies to "real life" as well.
  #5  
Old Nov 01, 2015, 07:17 PM
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ComfortablyNumb5 ComfortablyNumb5 is offline
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I can relate. Outside of Internet land, people say I have resting ***** face lol. So people are often afraid to approach me. But I'm nice I swear! And when it comes to texting or any kind of typing, I try really hard to keep it in the correct context so I'm not starting stuff. I fight with my bf over text and when I go back and read it, I'm like wow. It really looks like I blew it out of proportion.

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  #6  
Old Nov 02, 2015, 12:36 PM
MiddayNap MiddayNap is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RxQueen875 View Post
I can relate. Outside of Internet land, people say I have resting ***** face lol. So people are often afraid to approach me. But I'm nice I swear! And when it comes to texting or any kind of typing, I try really hard to keep it in the correct context so I'm not starting stuff. I fight with my bf over text and when I go back and read it, I'm like wow. It really looks like I blew it out of proportion.
I am very frequently told I look as though I am sad or bored, even if I am perfectly content. Once, I was talking with my cousin about a new job. "I'm so excited I can't stop smiling." Said I. She looked rather confused. "You're not smiling." She replied. Ho-hum. It is a bit annoying having to over-exaggerate my facial expressions so I don't look utterly disinterested, but methinks resting b**ch-face would be more bothersome. People would think you a mean person without even taking the opportunity to speak with you.
I'm not really one to find offensive remarks where they are not intended. Usually, I am at the other end of this sort of thing. I'll say something and the other person will get annoyed or upset. I've no idea why. Perhaps you wouldn't mind articulating exactly what it is that causes your initial frustration in situations such as these?

You're overly-emotional and I'm callous, but at least we're self-aware, eh?
  #7  
Old Nov 02, 2015, 01:07 PM
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emwell emwell is offline
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Quote:
You're overly-emotional and I'm callous, but at least we're self-aware, eh?
This is great.

Recently I was waiting for my replacement Therapist. She was a tad late. I did not feel angry, but I became aware of how I was sitting. If I saw me, I would immediately think, "that person looks angry."
Once I became aware of this, I was able to change the way I was sitting as I was not angry and didn't want to come cross as angry.
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  #8  
Old Nov 02, 2015, 06:51 PM
MiddayNap MiddayNap is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emwell View Post
This is great.

Recently I was waiting for my replacement Therapist. She was a tad late. I did not feel angry, but I became aware of how I was sitting. If I saw me, I would immediately think, "that person looks angry."
Once I became aware of this, I was able to change the way I was sitting as I was not angry and didn't want to come cross as angry.
How the devil does one sit angrily?
  #9  
Old Nov 02, 2015, 10:14 PM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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I belonged for numerous years to another site long before coming to PC. I wouldn't quite say clique, but a small group of us, maybe ten of us, through the years came to discuss our writing styles and actually went so far as to describe emotions behind words and discussed at length projected reading. Meaning are we reading each others words with our own emotions or was emotion being spilled forth through stressful circumstances of the one writing. It was a unique time in my life, as I'm sure, there's as well.
Your self explanation of your intents brought that life experience to mind.
Thanks, for this thread.
  #10  
Old Nov 03, 2015, 03:02 AM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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I was married to a guy for 33 years who was very similar to what you are describing. There was absolutely no emotional connection & communication was difficult...he would argue even when we were saying the same thing. There were times when I felt like I was speaking in a foreign language & his facial expressions never matched the situation.

It wasn't until after I left & moved far away & was talking to my new therapist that he suggested the possibility that I might have been dealing with a H who has Asperger's (ASD). The more I researched it the more it seemed to describe all my experiences with him.....it really helped me to have a better understanding
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  #11  
Old Nov 18, 2015, 03:32 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Thanks for this post
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Thanks for this!
MiddayNap
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