[Sabrina]

My stepdaughter's best friend contacted me and asked if she could invite a "few" girls over on Saturday night for a surprise birthday party. I said no problem, I would bake muffins and buy chips and dips etc. The kids were going to club together for pizza and I said I would help. Then she asked me if she could invite one or two hockey friends as well. I said no problem.

By 6.30 - there were 20 teenagers in my garden All I could think was, thank goodness I baked 24 muffins. They didn't get pizza but the best friends and two boys decided to walk to the store (20 minute walk) to get sausage and rolls for hot dogs. Hour and a half later, they were still gone. No answer on her phone. My stepdaughter and the other 15 or so kids walked in a group to find them. She is sleeping here and so I am responsible for her. I was NOT amused. Her mother would of had a fit. I scolded her when she got back.

Hubby is out of town and missed all of this! By 11pm all the kids had gone home and my stepdaughter said she would clean up. (I wouldn't of had it any other way). She did what I suppose, to her, is a good job but I've had to do some damage control today. I've had to re-wash all the dishes, dust, vacuum and wash the kitchen floor. Sticky cooldrink everywhere. And madame. well - she's still sleeping.

I'm sure it was fun for her but I'm sure glad I'm past all that teenage stuff.

Side note - I really need to teach her how to clean.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

"Side note - I really need to teach her how to clean" - yes. xD It's so important to respect what you own and other people's possessions. I was terrible when I was younger, until my step mother came onto the scene and effectively changed that for both my dad and I. Now I'm 29 years old and quite house proud about a place that's only temporary housing! I would have it no other way.

For all your hard work and for being a real star letting her have 20 people in the house, maybe she could return the favor by helping out with the housework some more or something? Could be something for next time. So like, maybe if she's all "can I have an army of kids over here to mess up the nice, clean house?" you could come back with, "only if you clean every iota of the place afterwords, until I'm 100% satisfied it's spotless." Slightly exaggerated version. xD Afterall, it's your house too.

By no means am I father, so feel free to completely ignore me. If I were, I'd probably be a pain, but then isn't that the job of a parent? Haha.

In hindsight, I wish I were more respectful when I lived with my dad. I was too busy being a kid, and a messed up one at that, to appreciate some of the things that I now do. Sometimes I go over there and have dinner with them, but afterwards I'll wash the dishes and clean the worktops; sorta my way of trying to make up for it.

[Sabrina]

I must say that I really appreciated her efforts to wash up. She has only been living here with us a year and it has taken me that long to teach her a little bit of pride. She is a "naturally" incredibly untidy and messy child. Something which I really struggle with. I will ask her later, when she's alone, if she had a good time, I will thank her for "cleaning up", for she certainly did try. Then I will nicely add, that there was a lot more cleaning up to do (in my standards). I've been busy for an hour! She still has a bit of tidying up to do outside before her father comes home. I just spotted balloons rolling around which I think I'll get before the dogs do.

It's tough for me not to be able to relax until everything is clean and neat. It's tough on the kids, they think I'm a nut!

[healingme4me]

Maybe she'll learn your methods? And appreciate them down the road. My stepdads mom was very particular. She taught me how to fold sheets properly. And that was my major task in her home when visiting. Ended up with no wrinkles, a neat square, the set together and placed in drawers. My stepmother taught me towels. Edges out, to easily grab or store without it looking like a mess. Had a boyfriend from high school who even commented on how well I washed silverware, as that was a peeve of his. Rare to find an iota of crumb, even my mom's dishes didn't pass...

Seems daunting and futile now, prayers down the road that you've helped shape her.

You gave her an experience, sounds lovely. Maybe you expect a certain tidiness but she was allowed to walk to the store.



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[Sabrina]

Oh, she didn't walk to the store, it was her friend that did. When they left to go find them, they found them outside the house.

It turns out she didn't entirely enjoy the party. She loves friends and lots of people around her and talks louder and faster than anyone there. She was all I could hear from inside. But the best friend that arranged everything wouldn't help her clean up afterwards. And didn't see why there needed to be cleaning up the next day. (I did the cleaning up yesterday by myself!). So my stepdaughter is a bit disillusioned with her friend and I realize that she has absorbed some of my teachings by realizing that when there are lots of people over, messes can be made, and messes need to be cleaned.

Next year, for her 16th - I think I'll arrange a venue for any surprise birthday parties