[LiteraryLark]

I haven't been on PC in a long time, granted my most recent post.

I thought I would update you on what has been happening in my life and to let people know I haven't abandoned PC, mostly taking a hiatus to focus on myself and personal growth.

I've been working at the Hampton Inn and Suites as a housekeeper for 2 months now and I absolutely love it. My boss loves me and every day she tells me how proud she is of me, as well as my parents and grandparents. I've had a few rough moments, about two weeks of major depression, anxiety and then I had the final straw with another two weeks of extreme mood swings where I had absolutely no idea who I'd be like each day. I went to my doctor and she prescribed me two medications, clonzepam for temporary relief of my anxiety, and lamactil, which I have been on for about two weeks now. I never used the clonzepam because the lamactil kicked in right away, which the doctor said would also have a calming affect. My mood has shifted greatly into a more stable mindset, and I am getting better and better at my job. Yesterday my boss surprised me with a really cool baseball tee with a graphic design of a peace symbol (the two fingers) and it says "flawless". I truly was surprised and I gave her a big hug and was so grateful, and she told me two things, that when she was shopping she saw it and instantly thought of me, and that she knows I have been working really hard and thought I had deserved a treat.

I had a long emotional talk with my mom who told me about wanting to retire and not being able to for another 7 years, how my Dad is upset because he is scared of being assassinated at work for being a police officer and how their jobs are not only too dangerous but they feel they are no longer helping people or feeling appreciated. My mom also told me they are planning on moving out of state in a few years and they would be lucky if they get any of the money back on their house because the economy plummeted (I checked zillow and our house is $100k below what we bought it for). So we talked about a lot of things, but mostly what I can do to support them financially. Another side bit I'd like to include, which will lead up to the main point, is they said no to snakes because the cats are hunters, but they are open to me having a dog when they feel I can be solely responsible for one financially. We discussed taking over the care of my cat Evy, paying for her vet bills and meds, and yesterday I took Evy to the vet and paid for it in its entirety for the first time ever, even making my own "adult" decisions by telling the vet no antibiotics until we know she needs them...(The vet recommended we put her on antibiotics until we get the results and that we may need to change to stronger antibiotics if the UTI---if she has one---is drug-resistant.) I thought it would only be $100 for the health exam, lukemia shots and rabies shots plus flea meds, but the urinalysis turned out to be $173 and I ended up paying $350 with my mom paying for her share of the meds (we have two cats, Evy is mine and Salem is hers.) After dropping Evy at home I went and bought a 20 lb bag of cat food and cat litter. I am also taking on other financial responsibilities as well and building myself up to be a responsible adult.

When my parents said they would be moving in a few years, they meant six or seven, which to me a few years mean 3-4 years. I'd be 30 by the time they retire and move, and I am also wondering shouldn't I be moving out by then? My parents literally want me to live with them until they pass on. I guess that would seem reasonable, as they plan on moving to Oregon and the rest of the family lives in California, so I would have to be the one to care for them, as I think they would refuse an outside caretaker. My idea is to stay in California and wait until my grandparents pass on and then buy their property, and then we'd live in a place which to me seems like home. I'm rambling a bit, I apologize, but this paragraph is really about what my future will be like. Question: If my parents truly want me to live with them "forever" as they put it, then is there any shame to never move out? Personally, the only thing that matters to me, wherever I move until then, is to buy my grandparents property when they move out. That is my goal, no matter if I move out or continue to live with my parents, I am so attached to the memories that belong to my grandparents house.

Overall, life is treating me very well, I have a stable FT job, my relationship with my parents is getting better every day, I see or phone my grandparents on a regular basis, I have time for friends, and I am taking on more adult responsibilities.

[Angelique67]

Hey, Lark, I'm really glad things are going well for you. It is beautiful to see a family so close to each other.

About living with your parents, it sounds like both you and them are a little mixed feeling about that. That's a situation that people really haven't been through in past memory, but it's very hard on your generation. The relationships you have are highly personal. Everyone needs to make this moving out or staying home decision based on their own lives and family of origin's evolving requirements. So I think it's wholly OK to stay with your parents, or move out and go back as you wish.

Sorry if I didn't say anything helpful.

[Row Jimmy]

Unless you have a compelling reason to move before you purchase your grandparents place, why pay rent? Save your money so you can make the new place your own. Furthermore, living in an apartment complex (or a rental property) will invite numerous triggers like noise or people playing Mariah Carey at 3 AM.

[lizardlady]

Lark, your parents aren't moving until your mom retires, right? Lots can happen in six or seven years. Why not "back burner" the decision for awhile?