Why does everyone react to kindness so strangely?

Not kindness itself, but just being friendly in general. I love smiling to people and saying hello, but nobody else seems to want to? I smile at others, but I just get a sour face in return, or when I try to say hello, the person looks or away or pretends to not / doesn't hear me. I'm going to college soon, and I want to be known as the friendly guy, but what the heck man? This kinda sucks.

I always try to be friendly also and it is true that not everyone takes to it or cares.
No matter what you need to be you and not let the grumpy, nasty people get you down.

I think we live in a world where friendlyness/ kindness is a dying art.

I DO

I feel that so often people put themselves first, and so when they do actually show kindness it's weird to that person.

like... I'm not used to this much kindness, why arn't you just nasty like the rest of them

just some thoughts

As for me personally, I find that being kind gets you nowhere at all.

I try to put others before myself, and no one is ever grateful for it.

ever

If being kind is who you are to the core, continue being so.

I do feel there are grumpy people at the same time there seems to be plenty of kind souls floating around. Kindness can be infectious. Don't let negativity wear you down.

It feels strange when someone you don't know smiles at you. However, I will say my experience: When I open the main door in a public building, I hold it to anyone behind me as a sign of respect, a sign of acknowledgment. Some say thank you, some don't. But the worst part is that when the person behind you (usually a young lady ) actually opens the other half of the door while you are holding the door for them. I don't know why they do that. Yet I still hold the door to anyone behind me. I do it because I feel it's the right thing to do. I do it because when I'm the one behind, and the person in front of me doesn't show any attempt to hold the door, I feel I'm not being acknowledged. Maybe it's just me who pay attention to this minor thing, but I cannot ignore it. The point is that you do what you feel is right, and don't expect any return to it. You do it for yourself.

I try to smile and greet people I pass on the streets and I rarely get acknowledgement.

But one thing that does work is when i use a stranger's name. if I at all see a name (example a name tag on my sales clerk or cashier) I purposely use it. I is amazing the softening change in demeanor. I sense that these people appreciate it.

This is an interesting topic.

When I began work in a store I noticed how a high number of customers smiled at me (just as I was walking past them with store goods and thanking them for waiting aside), yes I was wearing a smile and they were returning it but I think it was the store uniform and some kind of etiquette. It's been a nice part of my job that so many people react that way.

Most people respond favourably to those small interactions, but some do not at all, and a small number can be not so nice. Human nature is fascinating - and definitely don't let those who are not so friendly put you off being friendly.

Yes I appreciate it when customers use my name.

I try to be friendly and smile and say hello and excuse me just because one person might benefit from it. All it takes is making one persons day more pleasant to make it worth it. Have a great day!!!

I will admit that I'm one of those people that tries to avoid talking to strangers. When a stranger talks to me, I try to be polite but prefer if things don't evolve into a conversation.

It's weird because I don't remember being like this as a kid...almost as if society has changed and being friendly and kind to others can be seen as "awkward", "weird", or "trying too hard". If that's naturally how you are though, don't stifle yourself. We need more kind people in this world!

I suppose it is a dying art, but it's still rude to just blow someone off. I'd rather not be nasty lol.

That's what I seem to notice: being friendly is taken as awkward, and I don't understand why. I'm a bit of an introvert (although, I enjoy trying to get out of my comfort zone), and it makes it more difficult for me to make friends, as I get discouraged easily.

iregendwie, Hi! Keep SMILING! I feel the same way you do...I meet with a lot of unsmiling, sour faces. But then there are those 1 or 2 who smile back! I refuse to take others' unfriendliness personally. If they are sour, they must be having a bad day and need my smile even more. For those few (like a neighbor I have) who just NEVER smile back, never ever...I just ignore them (her). Keep smiling and sooner or later you will get smiles in return

Maybe body posture plays a role? Maybe a sense of being physically open and relaxed helps?

Strangers always smile at me and talk to me. People always hold doors for me. Other women often stop to compliment me on something I am wearing such as my boots or hat. In stores people will stop me to ask me if I know where something is located even though I am obviously just another customer.

Recently I was riding buses a lot when my truck was being repaired. Quite often the bus drivers would start up a conversation with me (even though they aren't really supposed to talk to riders) and other riders also talked to me.

This is something that has happened to me since I was in my 20's. Maybe it has something to do with having meditated and practiced yoga since my 20's? I never have a sense that people are unfriendly. People are just people. We all have our problems and concerns. If someone doesn't smile at you they might have something pressing on their mind. It might have nothing to do with you. I am rather quiet and don't go out of my way to be friendly. I don't even smile that much! But people always advance and engage with me. That's why I think body posture must have a lot to do with it.

It's also a fact that after meditating for a while one's eyes begin to soften. A lot of long time meditators have smile lines around their eyes. Think of the Dalai Lama. I think having "soft eyes" is seen as attractive. Or maybe even a soft face because I wear sunglasses a lot and people still engage with me. I have noticed that long time meditators often seem much younger than their real age. All good reasons to meditate!

Smile, be happy, be kind, be polite. But don't expect the same in return, these things are not requirements, everyone is entitled to their own attitudes towards life, if they don't want to smile, so be it.
If their not smiling affects your ego then that is not their problem. We all have egos, active, sensitive, offendable egos. Be true to yourself, if you want to smile, to say hello, awesome.
If you don't, oh well.

Just be yourself. Kind and loving as you are. Don't worry so much what others are doing. Also pay attention to their body language, if they make eye contact then it would be an opening for a nice hello. But not everyone will respond.

Just keep thinking positive and don't let grumpy people get you down.

Hey lady, they are not necessarily grumpy
They may be shy, nervous, paranoid, delusional, who knows. I'm sure these are factors we can all understand.

I always use common respect ~ please, thank you, excuse and/or pardon me, etc.

That said, unfortunately, general polite small talk can be a struggle for me due to my depression. I *try* really hard to be genuinely pleasant, but I can't do it right now.

I'm a very shy and socially awkward person especially with people I don't know, because people make me nervous. I usually don't respond when strangers say hi to me, as a matter of fact I run away. I don't intend to be rude, but I automatically get scared. I'm also not a very enthusiastic person, so if I did respond, it's not going to sound like I'm thrilled...and that may also be offensive, but it's just not the way I am.

Don't take it personal, because I promise you it's not. There's no reason for you to stop being yourself...and I may even appreciate your kindness, I'm just not comfortable expressing it.