[tryingtobeconstruct]

I'd met someone on Fetlife and I'd thought we were friends. For about a month we exchanged emails two or three times a day. We slowed down after that but we continued to email and sometimes phone frequently.

About two months ago she just stopped. She'd told me she was going offline for a while but after several weeks of silence I tried to check in on her. I have never heard anything from her since, but just now I heard from her boyfriend.

Keep in mind that although we had talked about having some intimacy together, we were never boyfriend/girlfriend and never discouraged each other from seeing other people. Her friendship was one of the major things that helped me get through the awful times these past seven months.

So I just now got a message from her boyfriend saying to not contact her anymore. She also unfriended me.

I'm really hurting from this.

I am sorry to learn and hear of this. Rejection can hurt very much - even when it is a social media relationship. I personally try to make an effort to stand back a little when I develop internet based acquaintanceships. That affords me some emotional protection as they can often be turbulent. Whether you agree or not, in the end, you must respect her wishes.

[tryingtobeconstruct]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I am sorry to learn and hear of this. Rejection can hurt very much - even when it is a social media relationship. I personally try to make an effort to stand back a little when I develop internet based acquaintanceships. That affords me some emotional protection as they can often be turbulent. Whether you agree or not, in the end, you must respect her wishes.

I do respect her wishes... I won't contact her anymore. Actually, after the message I sent last week I wasn't going to contact her anymore anyway.

But I really thought we were friends. This really hurts.

I can understand the hurt from rejection. Do you have other friends you can turn to? Perhaps getting yourself busy with them might lessen some of the pain you feel. So too, maybe this is an opportunity to strengthen other relationships perhaps in real life?

[tryingtobeconstruct]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I can understand the hurt from rejection. Do you have other friends you can turn to? Perhaps getting yourself busy with them might lessen some of the pain you feel. So too, maybe this is an opportunity to strengthen other relationships perhaps in real life?

No, not really. I made one other friend during this time. She's wonderful, but I already feel the friendship ties loosening with her. I'm not saying we're also broken up, but the last few times I've reached out to her for support she's made (possibly quite reasonable) excuses. We'll see.

I'm going to try to be social at a brewery tonight. Hopefully I can find someone there to just hang out with.

Boy that is tough. Why do people do this?

[tryingtobeconstruct]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

Boy that is tough. Why do people do this?

I wish I knew.

I actually got a small update. Her boyfriend responded back to me and thanked me for "being cool" about it. He also said that she didn't tell him why she wanted to cut it off.

Somehow his message actually made me feel a little better. It's amazing how just a tiny bit of sympathy goes a long way.

[Altarian]

man.... if i had a dollar for the times i've went through this over the years. I don't wish anyone to have to deal with a situation like this because it hurts on a level that most people don't understand. As a friend told me, i'll tell you this little piece of wisdom. It does hurt but they are the one who is in the wrong. Especially if you were just in it for platonic reason and not with hope that it would lead to something romantic. some are not meant to stay in our lives forever and it appears that she was one of them.

[Turtle_Rider]

I know how it hurts. Sorry for that. Hope you get better friend than her.

[Unrigged64072835]

Sorry to hear you go through this. This person wasn't right for you, friend or otherwise.

[MuseumGhost]

That's what I was going to say. Anyone who simply "disposes" of people is probably very immature. You really don't need or deserve that.

You had different expectations of your friendship. I would guess that you are a little more sensitive and probably more well-mannered than her. Trust me, there are a lot of people in the world who are hoping to meet someone like you!

It won't be long before you find someone else to talk to. Chalk it up to experience.

People who behave like that ---how can they ever be trusted, afterward?