[Fresia]

My folks' house that I have been taking care of since their being gone and staying in will be going the market this spring. I will be getting a smaller place due to my health, easier up keep, and will help with finances. However, despite knowing I will be downsizing, logically, I cannot wrap my head around parting with some of these things, parents and grandparents stuff besides some of my things over the decades, and then to make matters worse I have even gone the opposite direction, have been shopping.

I know that I am stressed, which is why the shopping and needs to stop, but some of the things I see as new for a fresh start; however the other side of me, thinks 'uhg', more stuff. I still am not sure what to keep and to part with of the old stuff. It would help if I knew where I was going but that is not the case yet, just that it will be half the size of where I am now. Meanwhile, I have returned some of the new things that were spur of the moment purchases, not needed or really loved and donating some the other things that we have had and know I will not need.

I don't want to regret letting go of something dear that I could have close to me of theirs. I wish on one hand I could just let it go, live simpler, which is appealing on one hand, but I know this will haunt me on the other hand. Perhaps it is just too soon after losing them.

Has anyone been through a downsizing, recommendations? Methods of coping with letting go and of family things?

[Yzen]

I would go through and hold each item and ask: "if I lost this would I be upset?" And, a second question: "if I didn't have this, would I buy another one to replace it?" If you say "yes" to either question, then you should keep it. If not, you should consider donating it or getting rid of it. Honor memories by keeping a few precious items and letting go off the ordinary items with little meaning. Hope that helps a little.

[*Laurie*]

Yes. I had a forced downsizing due to having to flee my home because my roommate was a mentally disturbed meth user and was quite seriously threatening to kill me (he had become paranoid). The situation was terrifying and no, the police would not help at all.

I grabbed my cats, my pet rat, and the belongings I could throw into 2 garbage bags. I grabbed my computer. Shoved it all into my car and left that city, moved to a new town that I love, and lost most of what I owned. That included all the things my parents had left to me and my gorgeous vintage Raleigh bike. Very, very hard and I was filled with grief for the first year. But I lived through it, became stronger and more capable, and made a new life. My apartment is very small and doesn't hold much, so I don't own much. But what I do own I really WANT in my life. Everything in my home is clean; it is uncluttered. I have space.

It works to give excess stuff up. And most of our "stuff" IS excess.

Best of luck to you with this. I believe that you can do what you know needs to be done.

[splitimage]

I went through a forced downsizing 7 years ago when I could no longer afford my apartment. I had to give up a lot of grandparent's furniture. I kept a couple of chairs that were meaningful to me, and a lot of art that I was attached to, figuring that pictures didn't take much space in storage and when I got a new apartment I'd have walls and could hang them.

I found it hard to get started, but once I made up my mind that I had to donwsize, I was pretty ruthless. I assumed I was going from a 3 bedroom apartment to a 1 bedroom, so had lots of stuff to get rid of.

I gave most of it away on Freecycle, knowing that it would be going to a good home, where people would appreciate it, and that made it easier.

The biggest challenge for me, was going through and downsizing my book collection which was huge. I wound up giving away over 800 books, and that was hard, but now my collection just has my absolute favourite authors.

It's hard, but it's doable once you make up your mind.

splitimage

I have had to do this several times: when my mom passed away and we moved my father, when I left my husband, and then more recently when I moved cities (amazing how much I accumulated in seven years). It was very difficult at first but then became quite easy.

I picked up an item and asked myself these questions: "Have I used this in the last year? Six months? Will I use it in the next three months?" Much of it was nope, nope, nope. Turf it went.

I have not missed a single item.

[divine1966]

My mom is currently selling on eBay. She already sold a ton. People are willing to buy anything on eBay.

And my daughter is getting rid of stuff now because she is relocating and this is her third immigration stint ha she gets rid of stuff every time, but she also sell stuff. When I immigrated, I sold furniture but gave away a ton. I only kept books. We don’t hold on to things. Mind you we accumulate a ton of stuff but we get rid of it easily too. It’s just stuff. Keep memorabilia that is small in size and fits into one box. Get rid of the rest