How are you feeling right now #3

I wasn’t feeling or remembering much of anything this afternoon and evening. I wasn’t very hungry despite not eating much today. I can’t remember what was on TV. I am currently a bit unnerved by this. I told myself not to let this happen in the mall since it happened Tuesday at the mall, and it didn’t happen today but I guess it happened right after the trip.

Still feeling a bit tired and haven`t had much of an appetite lately. I think it`s the new med. Frankly I feel pretty crappy.

Thirsty....

I've got a headache but I feel okay emotionally.

Very stressed out and disappointed with myself that I allowed my apartment to get so messy. At least I just cleaned the kitchen and it smells terrific.

Very flat.

As usual, like I'm forgetting something.

Annoyed.

Pissed off...at all the “supportive” housing place I stay at they ask me how I am doing but then just chalk it up to hanging out when I said I was feeling like crap!!

I’m kind of worried right now about work next week. On the bright side it looks like the holiday hours at work will only be 15 minutes more then I normally work. So no stressful 8 hour shifts like last year.

Sick of myself.

Mixed emotions mainly upset

Slightly nauseated and dizzy.

very anxious today new cooking teacher and it's icy every where

Kind of dizzy.

tired, overwhelmed, heartbroken

Low,depressed,abused,I had a spat with my narc sister and my mother shouted at me with contempt defending her,she didn't say goodnight after,she said goodbye.I took the opportunity to cut mum out of my life,and I blocked my sister from texting me,she was cut out f my life 4 years ago but she sucked me in to text her to cooperate over my mum's care cos she is blind and infirm.

I know cutting them both out of my life is the right thing to do.I don't have anyone now on a daily basis to chat to so I am feeling isolated and it is hard but I can meet people and make friends and new relationships,it won't be like this always,whereas with mum and sister they made sure I didn't have time for a life of my own,so I know I will be better off.

Also I found out two years ago when I cut my sister out she took my spare keys from my mums and let herself into my house,I only just noticed she took my photos,of me as a child,as a teenager,of holidays in Greece and of photos of me and my niece that I took birthdays and christmas at my home.I was shocked,I felt violated, it is abuse all over again,I was so angry,and this is what my mother defended my sister,saying it was my imagination and I had destroyed the photos myself and forgot about it,she lied and said I had told her that.It isn't on,I am not letting either of them near me again,years and years of serious violent emotional abuse and they deny it and act like they are the victims.I will not tolerate these hateful people in my life any longer.

Mixed emotions today

Made myself feel better by researching the CCTV that I want installed.I will be able to get it done in January and pay be instalments by a good company in my area.
It is more than I wanted to pay but worth it for peace of mind,knowing my narc sister can't get into my house again unobserved.I am paranoid that she knows the keysafe code and can't work out exactly when she let herself in and stole the pictures,was it before I changed the locks when she had my spare keys or after and she read my mind for the keysafe code.I am so insecure about this.At least January is not that far away now so will have peace of mind soon.

Needy.....I have had a child part triggered the last couple of days and when that happens all I want is attention from my therapist. I already pulled a semi-crisis email on her yesterday and got two emails from him. I feel guilty about that. He his away for thanksgiving and I wont have my Friday session with him. I keep telling myself I am a grown woman 15 years older than him for heavens sakes Moxie what is wrong with you?