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  #26  
Old Jan 25, 2019, 11:31 AM
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BonsaiGuy BonsaiGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by Memories of Silence View Post
Knitting, painting, reading and genealogy are relaxing to me, so I think they can be therapeutic. I think some people might feel more stressed when they do their hobbies because they think they’re not good at what they’re doing or that no one would like what they’ve made. I know I’ve felt like that, but I think trying to get better at things you like doing can help a bit. The more you do them, the better you’ll get at them (most of the time).
I agree wholeheartedly. Sometimes this may take some time, but once I feel more comfortable and confident, I really begin to feel the therapeutic and stress relieving properties.

Just curious, what do you do in regards to genealogy?
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  #27  
Old Jan 26, 2019, 12:58 PM
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happysobercrafter happysobercrafter is offline
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Originally Posted by BonsaiGuy View Post
I love this response, HappyCrafter! That sounds like a lot of fun. I've would always say that I've never been much of a "crafty person" but with the definition you gave, I might just have what it takes to give it a shot!

I'm not sure if it's possible on this forum (I'm new here lol) but I would love it if you could share some of the stuff you've made! If not, no worries! Expectations can be anxiety-inducing... Don't worry about it if that's the case. I was just curious on what a HappyCrafter crafts lol.
I apologize I didn't see this sooner!! In my album on here, I have several pictures of crafts I have done.
https://forums.psychcentral.com/album.php?albumid=5445
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  #28  
Old Jan 26, 2019, 02:41 PM
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saidso saidso is offline
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My hobbies (strange word) connect me to life. Some are relatively easy to get going, and some like Skeez says are precarious because they demand close attention to be satisfying.

I do martial arts, I enjoy cooking, and I am about to train to be a carpet weaver. The last is terrifying me but for various reasons I have to try.

I would like to do more sewing. I have squares cut out and ironed for a patchwork, and bought a metal square and new scissors for that... but somehow it's grey, it's raining and my friends don't love me...

Saidso
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  #29  
Old Jan 27, 2019, 04:23 AM
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What I meant to say is that martial arts, cooking and weaving connect me to life but that requires a small/big effort to do at times. Cooking is a small effort because I get hungry, martial arts is a medium-sized effort because I get negative messages in my head about it, weaving is a super huge effort because I don't know how to do most of it so there is a big risk of personal and practical failure.
Addictive pastimes (in my case: eating sweets, repetitive computer games, reading popular magazines, window shopping for clothes) have their place when I'm distressed or stuck, but lead me away from feeling alive. Not a judgement - they are comforting to the regressed me, but my feeling of pleasure in doing them is different - both less risky and less alive.

Martial arts and cooking are definitely healing - for me and other people - so long as I suspend perfectionism and the stress that goes with that. Weaving is like a huge mountain to climb, it's like fixing automobiles, it demands so much of me and I'm scared that I'm not healed enough to do it yet. But I have a teacher here, and soon I will be moving...

At their best all three are meditative - they take me a step back from my problems into a bigger mental world with more potential doors to the outside.

Sorry to write so much. I needed to think about weaving for myself, because I'm motivated to take it on but at the same time it seems terrifying and insane. Huge fear of inner failure.
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  #30  
Old Jan 27, 2019, 07:23 AM
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BonsaiGuy BonsaiGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyCrafter View Post
I apologize I didn't see this sooner!! In my album on here, I have several pictures of crafts I have done.
https://forums.psychcentral.com/album.php?albumid=5445
Thank you for sending the link! I really appreciate it, happycrafter! I'll check them out.
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  #31  
Old Jan 28, 2019, 04:20 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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  #32  
Old Jan 29, 2019, 03:47 AM
KU104 KU104 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BonsaiGuy View Post
Sometimes (especially when I'm feeling depressed or manic), it is very difficult for me to focus on the things that I love to do. The things that make me feel whole. The things that I absolutely love to do when I'm in a good place.
For me, some of these hobbies include tending to my bonsai trees, playing mandolin (even my wife doesn't mind that one), playing billiards, taking walks in the woods, snuggling/ playing with my kitties, or reading a good book. These activities encourage me to be grateful for where I am and helps me center myself all at the same time.
Speaking for myself, I find that focusing on the things that I love can almost act as a therapy in itself as they provide a consistent measure of healing. It seems to me that they almost act as a "medication" or have healing properties due to the emotions and insight they invoke. One observation, however, is that these activities or hobbies always center on me being by myself. The ones that I take the most pleasure in are usually refreshingly isolating.
My question to everyone is... Have you noticed any similar observations? Are activities that provide isolation actually self-sabotage? What activities help you to be in a good place? Do you prefer isolation or activities in a group?
[/FONT]

Hi bonzaiguy (love your nick)

I think youre talking about mindfulness (tm) and my therapist introduced me to it. I found skiing specially mindfulling just sledging down the slope! (you playing mandoline) all goood for you.

Ku104 psychosis, languagefool
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  #33  
Old Jan 31, 2019, 12:43 AM
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CepheidVariable CepheidVariable is offline
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Hey there. Nice thread.


To respond to your question -- as pretty much everyone else has said, hobbies are quite therapeutic and just plain healthy for people. The catch for many people with depression is anhedonia. Not just a lack of focus, but you end up in a place where nothing is likeable anymore. That's a really tough one.

When that happened to me, I worked on getting out of crisis first and then later working up to trying new things. I figured my old hobbies might feel like old hat and wouldn't be motivating enough.

I would normally say, yes, go with what you naturally want to do. It need not be self sabotaging -- *unless*, like me you have social isolation and avoidance problems. That was the other reason I looked for new things; All my old go-to activities were loner things by and large. My situation dictated that I needed to try group activities.


I tried things I normally would not have, largely out of desperation. And that's been good. Most of them didn't work out, but I've found a few good things and improved my situation.

My biggest current enjoyment, and surprise, is playing piano. I always felt uncoordinated and piano is physically challenging. My previous exposure to music and music teachers was ... um ... sub-optimal. And no one in my family ever had any musical interest or talent. So I thought I was not music material, despite enjoying and carefully listening to it.

Well, last spring, in my late 40s, I thought "****er all that" -- I want to try music one more time. I had always wanted to, but had given up on the idea. I knew it would be a challenge and I needed to be emotionally strong to deal with the dedication of daily practice and inevitable frustration. I hoped I was at that point.

So, I contacted a local music store that provides lessons. I interviewed the teachers and picked one. It's been great. After a few weeks, she stopped walking me through stuff and started saying things like "you've got this" and "try this, you'll figure it out". It turns out I can do something that's well outside my normal zone. Which does a lot for my poor self-esteem.


It's not as social yet as I would have liked, but that's okay because it's been so positive. I keep looking for other more social things as I can.

I have some anxiety issues that foul me up occasionally, and it'll be a long road. But I'm fine with that. I choose to forego any formal exams and just do this for me. I decided that whatever I could do and however long it took would be okay. Having made that decision, it's gone much faster without the pressure. Not really surprising, that.


I'm at the point now where I can play some things without the huge effort it requires at first. So I can sometimes just play and relax. Calming and/or fun. Lovely.
  #34  
Old Feb 21, 2019, 11:09 PM
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Monticello Monticello is offline
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I like to do needlework. My psych nurse told me that uses different neural pathways and thus can be very relaxing. She prescribed 20 minutes every evening, but a lot of times I have a hard time starting.
  #35  
Old Feb 21, 2019, 11:30 PM
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Mopey Mopey is offline
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I think so. Anything that can distract your mind from negative thoughts can potentially do that. Just be aware that you may have to concentrate on it for a little while before the concentration kicks in.
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