Handling Beggars

In the town I attend college, a consequence of a rapidly increasing population and student body is the presence of beggars. Most of them are harmless, but as part of practicing stronger personal boundaries and saving money for post-graduation life, I’ve gone from liberally giving money to finding a new pet peeve in beggars, particularly more recently after a few beggars invaded my personal space and continued to nag me for loot even after I said “no”. In my college town, we don’t have panhandlers holding out signs for food, cancer, etc; they’re more like middle class to stark poor fellows who come up to me with a long-winded story (getting abandoned by friends, lacking money for gas to get home, needing money for repairs) and ask me for money. A few have pestered me to buy products they were selling. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve began questioning the validity of their reasons for begging, or as stated with protecting my financial boundaries, if I should even allow them to beg at me.

How do you guys here on PC handle beggars, particularly more persistent ones like I’ve found? Do you give them money if they approach you? What do you think about some of these beggars like those who have approached me?

With regard to homeless folks, or anyone asking for money on the street, I think you just decide if you are willing and able to provide. If so, go ahead. If not, don't. If you feel the need to say something you could try "Sorry, I don't have any cash on me" or something like that and continue to walk away. If someone is violating your boundaries for any reason, you need to leave the situation asap. If someone blocks your path or you feel unsafe, call the police.

I wouldn't speculate about people's life choices or why they are asking for money or if they are deserving or not. We never truly know what is going on with a stranger. I either have money to spare or I don't. I don't analyze the reasons of folks asking for money.

Hope this helps. Good luck and stay safe

HopefullyLost gave good advice about people asking for money on the street. Many do in London where I live, especially at rail stations. I ignore them, otherwise their badgering could go violent. My advice to you is on seeing them, make sure you have an escape route and avoid eye contact. Cross the road if you can, or double back. Use your phone to contact a friend or dial for police assistance if you are threatened.

That said, whenever I see someone living rough in town and they are often with a dog for company, I'll buy them a KFC or a large burger, fries and a soft drink. Giving is an honourable thing as it feeds the needy. I would never give money as they could spend it on alcohol and/or drugs. Being a Londoner for many years I'm street-wise from having learnt Situational Awareness. Google it. You should find useful info for getting out of difficult situations, thus keeping yourself safe.

@HopefullyLost1211 Thank you for your input! I guess there's a time and place for everything, except for dangerous begging. Being an analytical and pensive type also features a tendency to overanalyze situations, so only the other person truly knows what they have been through.

@Velvet Lounger Thanks for your advice also. I occasionally feel like a fish out of water where I've gone to school because I grew up in the country, so its great and very interesting to get input from someone who lives in one of the world's most globalized cities. Of course like you I won't give money away so people can get wasted or use it selfishly but it is rewarding to give when it's appropriate. I gave quite a few dollars in the Sydney Harbour and New Orleans' French Quarter for people showing off their musical talent!

I find it tough. I live in a major metropolitan area with lots of homelessness and pan handlers. I make the decision to give/not give money based on what I can afford at the time. I figure once I make the decision to give, what they use the money for, is out of my hands. If it's for food great. If it's for drugs or alcohol to help them get through the day, I'm not going to judge them.

I am more inclined to give money to people who are selling "Street Times" which is an incredibly mediocre paper, that the homeless can sell, and they keep something like 65% of the cost. I figure they're at least making an effort.

I find here, that if I don't have the money to give, a simple, "Sorry I can't" suffices. I'm rarely if ever harassed.


splitimage

That's true, only the beggar knows what they will eventually use any loot for. I guess they're at least not sitting around doing nothing! I guess Situational Awareness is an art and science

Beggers where I live usually gather at the local supermarket and drugstore. If I give its usually food. I make certain it's soft snacks since many such people's teeth are bad. I'm suspicious of the cash being used for drugs.

You're a much better person than me lol

For anyone interested, it is as physiologically dangerous to suddenly withdraw from alcohol as it is to withdraw from heroin. So if you are ever feeling badly about giving a homeless person money out of concern that they'll purchase alcohol (many homeless folks are living with chemical dependence) you can actually tell yourself that you may have saved their life.

Similarly, not wanting to give money to someone addicted to drugs...chemical dependence is not something that evaporates due to being denied money. Folks become more and more desperate...driven to more and more dangerous acts in order to avoid withdrawal...this is not simply an emotional decision...there's a very powerful neurological mechanism involved which affects the entire body. It can cause dangerous sickness and warrants professional intervention but I know you folks already realize that homeless people are often not receiving medical care.

I have never experienced chemical dependence or withdrawal myself but I've listened to my patients describe it and it sounds horrifying. I would not wish that on anyone.

It's anyone's choice whether to give to the homeless or not. I just thought some folks may find it useful to know the biology when they are considering the implications of drugs and alcohol use. Peace to all.

I give what I can afford at the time

I typically don't. It's not from a place of heartlessness, but it's something else. We have panhandlers and those as you walk out of a store...do you have any change, do you have any change. Some will walk to close to the car at an intersection. Had one woman walk up to me asking for money, but she's pregnant she said but she's hungry she said so I walked her into the store that I came out of and let her pick out food then I heard her story of losing to the state several other of her kids and she only wanted junk food. I pointed out healthier choices but she wasn't having it. I was on food stamps at the time...I didn't feel swindled per se but...yeah...

To add another story. Once saw one of the panhandlers at a different store a couple of towns over. And yeah...a little shoplifting ring of them.

I'm all set. I have helped in other ways with food rescues or giving trees during holidays and those ways.

often I don't give money to the homeless.

9 times out of 10, I can't even aford it (I struggle with money as it is)

I have given money to one homeless guy, selling cds of his violin music which is actually quite good (though Im bias, I love the violin) and would probably buy a cd of violin music even if they played it badly

I do feel really bad for the homeless people who have to sleep in train stations

sooo cold this time of year

I donate to homeless shelters chain. It’s a wonderful chain, I’ve been in several of their shelters as I sometimes volunteer there:shelters and soup kitchens. In fact amount is being taken out of my card automatically every month.

No I do not carry cash on me hence I won’t be giving anything to beggars. But I also don’t have beggars where I live, i am in a rather affluent area. I’d have to do ton of driving to get to where I might see beggars. But I do my part like donating and volunteering as I said above.

I’d not shame people who don’t give to beggars or dont donate and it doesn’t matter why they don’t give. No one’s business. People do what they can and want. So do what you feel is right and appropriate. Don’t worry about others

I don't in the town I currently live in. It may sound jaded but I live near a smoke shop that sells cheap beer and I watch them beg for various reasons and then run in and grab beers and smokes. Most live at the homeless shelter. I'm not judging. I'm only just over four months sober. But I never pan handled and lied to strangers to get drinks. When I was pregnant and living in homeless shelters I went through all the steps to better my situation. I get that some people are chemically dependent and desperate. I dunno. I guess I just keep away and say no sorry don't have it..

I never carry any cash so giving money is not an option. However I have bought a tank of gas or food at a fast food place for them. Since I have a truck I have helped people in need (poor people hauling huge things home up hill in a shipping cart) haul it home in my truck. One time I saw a guy walking what looked to be a bike that wasn't working along the highway by my house. I loaded his bike into my truck & found out where he was heading was several hours away by car (several days by walking a broken bike). It was dinner time...so I grilled dinner, gave him a place to sleep down stairs & drove him home the next day. Sometimes even those who don't beg or ask really appreciate the help. I do things....I don't give money (most times I am just getting through the month financially.

my old friend used to only give actual things, not money. so if she had a bag of chips or a bottle of water etc. she said if they are truly hungry, they will appreciate it.

personally, i only give if i see a dog with them. i know I'm kind of a jerk but its' just too hard for me to deal with people in general and people asking for money makes me very uncomfortable.... but a dog always wins my heart

I walk on by making no eye contact. If they persist anyway, I politely tell them I am on assistance too. That usually stops them in their tracks.

Here in Chicago they are everywhere....one novel solution I saw was in a field trip. All of the students had been given two granola bars to give out if anyone was truly hungry.

In the past I routinely volunteered to help cook and serve lunch for homeless people and have donated to food banks. I would rather contribute in either or both of these ways, but it would be tempting to give food.

I never give beggars money because odds are they'll use it inappropriately (drugs, crime, etc) and I try to ignore them. The most common pestering getting asked to bum a cigarette, I always say no because 1) cigarettes are expensive 2) you never know if it's a sting if they look young, and 3) they'll usually ask for a lighter and if I do give them one I let them keep it because I don't know what kind of germs and diseases they carry when they touch the lighter...which means I need to buy another lighter.

If they seem like genuinely nice people, most commonly I'll give a smile and a wave, and if I'm feeling particularly generous I give food and a copy of Watership Down. I've handed out copies of that book to several homeless people and they've shared it with their friends and told me it was the most meaningful book they've ever read. (When I worked at McDonald's I came to know all the regular homeless, and now it's my kind of mission to collect copies of that book to hand out to those in need.)

Hi DazedandConfused254,

If I remember to, I'll actually plan in advance what my approach will be regarding beggars. If I have some spare coins I will bring those to give but if I have nothing to contribute or just don't want to for whatever reason, I just look at them and say, 'no, sorry' and carry on walking - that should be enough. But if one of them wants to give you an explanation as to why they're asking for money, just say, 'sorry I have to go' and keep walking.

Yes, I find the whole thing awkward myself, but I find interactions with all strangers awkward. One beggar approached me though, and I stopped, and he asked me for $10 - petrol for his car. I actually laughed, haha. I don't know why.

I volunteer at the women's prison for AA and there are a lot of people pan handling there. I usually keep a dollar store bag of snacks that I hand out when I go in.

I usally try to have a sub way gift card in my purse to give them, i never give out money because you never know.

I don't usually give but if I did then I think that I would buy the person food instead of the cash. I struggle financially so it is hard to give. I often wander though if I was homeless I wouldn't like if people ignored me, yet I do it.