How are you feeling right now #4

I am feeling a lot of fear,I have been triggered and my PTSD symptoms are strong.Memories of being isolated,abused,bullied, ridiculed in situations where I was actively opposing certain political opponents and people supposed to be on my side maligned and victimised me.Today any involvement in politics triggers me but I has to take a stand against current events of fascism in the world and in this country.

That slight panicky feeling I get when it’s getting late and I’m not tired. Maybe that 5 milligram melatonin should have been taken a few hours ago instead of a few minutes ago.

Nervous...

I suffer PTSD, too, but find it helpful to limit what I watch on TV including political news and current events. What I do is limit watching TV news, thouygh having BBC News online greatly helps filter what I can watch and what can prevent me. This news website allows filters, and it's these very filters we can apply so as not become triggered.

Have you ever had any counselling over your being bullied, abused and isolated? I found counselling for all those including my school torment very helpful, though it was quite some years ago. Bullying has a knock-on affect as you may know, the old memories rear up if we are confronted even with internet bullies today and recently I was frightened badly by someone. Also, try and limit what you read online because this will help you take back some control of your everyday life. It also has reduced my anxiety levels.

I filter what my young daughter reads online. This is in addition to having a 'net nanny', so useful these days. Peggy really appreciates it instead of revolting, as some teenagers can do. She's become a very happy child lately, and I think this has come from limiting her computer/phone browsing times.

. . . .

I'm on a course of antibiotics, and these brutes are pulling me down with the oral steroids. I hope my doctor can switch some meds around. I should be feeling better by now, but am not.

I woke up a couple of hours too early, but I'm feeling ok. I also went to bed early last night, so I think I got enough sleep.

Hello Velvet Lounger,
thank you for your reply.

Yes, that is very good advice to limit my use of internet and watching news on TV,there is the danger of overload.At the same time I don't want to be a person that lives in ignorance while fascists kill.I have to do my bit to stop the rot.But still I have my limits and have to take care not to over reach them or if I get ill I am no use to anyone not even myself.

I did have counselling for the bullying and it helped to some extent but it hasn't stop me being triggered when fear sets in and memories flood back I get very unstable and insecure,which is why I have to do as you advise and not watch too much ,I can certainly spend less time online getting anxious about politics.

I think protecting your daughter by limiting her computer time is good for her.

I can't rely on medication as I have had my conditions made worse by severe side effects.

I hope that you feel better soon!

Self hating.

I find writing quite healing. Jotting worries down and wondering thoughts into a notebook has been most helpful, and my daughter has started doing the same. Once written, like her, I feel able to leave the words on paper and start a new day. Like me, Peggy writes in pencil which if a mistake is made can easily be erased. She makes her own notebooks, too. Somewhere I have an Instructables teach-yourself. Sometime I'll look it out and post it.

My daughter knows why I'm protective of her wanderings online, but was pleased when I introduced her to building kites. I found a used out of print kite building book by Penguin, and now we always have a project on the go, thus keeping both of us offline. It's fun alright!

I quite understand your need to 'rage against the machine' of fascism. How about making a website, say, by Wordpress and make yourself a pseudonym, ie. "Quiller". There on your website you can fire off as many salvos against those in our world who are harmful while you remain perfectly anonymous and with a good name such as that. First, acquaint yourself on the laws of libel, thus protecting your writing from litigation. You can even assert your legal rights as an author. That way, by writing, you therefore get to control your triggers while warning the innocent. You thereby help yourself and in doing so, help others!

I quite understand the oft' terrible side effects of some medicines which is why personally I have found limiting my own to work out ways of handling my anxiety in practical ways. For example, to rid my frustration of writer's block, I'll chop logs. Or, write a timed 5 minute non-stop writing excercise about anything. No stopping to make spelling corrects ect. by the time 5 minutes are up - the anxiety has gone. Otherwsie there isd nothing like a nice cup of tea.

If when feeling unstable next time, go for brisk walk! That can help enormously.

Much of what we react against also comes roiling off social media. As if television news, national newspapers aren't enough, we can rally round by turning on the radio. But unless we get choosy with our phones locking onto social media, we will always be affected. I have a rule among our children: Turn off your phones at least 2 hours before bedtime. A good night's sleep means less fractiousness the morning after.

It's been lovely writing to you.

Thank you.It's good to talk to you too.I do journal and it helps a lot with my triggers.I'd like to write some more about the subjects that interest me, your idea of me starting a blog is a good one.I am glad you have found ways to entertain your daughter offline,children now days spend too much time on their computer instead of playing outside and doing practical things with their hands like painting and drawing or carpentry or indeed kite making!

I am tired now so I will nap for a couple of hours and then I plan to go see a film and have a coffee.Thanks for your reply!

Anxious this morning

Worn out

I feel...new.

I'm feeling okay, kind of disappointed. A little bored.

Very tired right now a good tired though

Sad.....

I’m feeling ok.

Wide awake, which isn't good considering its almost 9 PM.

Like I have appendicitis.

Miserable but determined.

Sore but ok.

Feeling pretty good.

Anxious this morning

I'm feeling a little nervous about my doctor appointment today and about kitty's vet appointment today.

I'm feeling sleepy and need a nap.

Discouraged and unappreciated.