Funny stories?

Do you have any funny stories?

When I was 6 or 7 years old my mom and I both swore we heard Cousin Skeeter on the show Cousin Skeeter swear. We both heard him say “you got your tennis rackets, you got your bull shit” We both swore we heard it and my mom was really angry because the show was a Nickelodeon show. I can’t find anything online about this. But maybe the network was hijacked or something. It was weird for a 7 year old and a 48 year old to hear the exact same thing at the exact same time though.

hahaha!

I remember tuning to a cartoon and the first words they said was "got any nuts?"

took me a back for a while, until I realised they meant squirrel nuts

getting discharged from hospital and getting a call from someone telling me my cat had died

realising I didn't have a cat

going back to the hospital to swap it for the correct phone

oops

my friend and me were going to the shop to buy some tango sprays (they are likea tube with a button on the top you press to get the liquid in to your mouth)

at the time none of us knew what to describe them as, so we walked in the shop and my friend asked.. got any stick things?

the look on the shopkeeper's face... priceless

My late mother told me that when I was three years old I criticized her too much so she said "I guess you will have to find yourself another mother." My reply, she said, was to put my hands on my hips and say "You know I can't cross the street by myself.".
...
funny...I think my adult daughter's first sentence was "I do it myself"...

I was setting up new cable tv service and was going over the channels I wanted with the customer service rep. Then he asks me if I have pets.

I think: this guy is not seriously asking me about pets to sell me channels for them to watch!!

So, I said: "I have two cats and they watch what I watch."

He wasn't.

He said to this effect: "We ask because if you have dogs, they need to be in another area for our tech's safety."

My mom says she does remember them swearing in a kids show. But she doesn’t remember the exact details. At least I’m not having a false memory.

Today I called into work. Most likely because of a reaction to a change in my medication. I was at the store with my mom because I felt a little bit better and I had called my therapist and she told me to use it as a self care day and do what I usually do.

When I was at the store. I saw a coworker. It was the the time work still would have been going on. She works on Monday’s. She knows I work on Mondays. We just kinda stared at each other for a couple seconds like we understood. It was kinda funny.

I went to lie down at 6 tonight. I fell asleep immediately. I had told my mom to wake me up at 8. She woke me up at 8:09 and I seriously thought it 8:09 AM and I was almost 2 hours late for work. I started freaking out about a no call no show, and thinking maybe If I came in at 9 they wouldn’t be terribly upset at me. I went in to turn on the shower. I texted my mom saying “you know I start work at 6:30AM?” she texted me back it was 8 Monday night. I was freaked out for a good 5 minutes though and I probably would have continued getting ready for work if not for the text.

I was working as an RN and in the mornings we collected urine samples (I don't know if this is funny or sick but we laughed). They would be lined up in a carry on the counter. This morning we saw the doctor coming and got a guy working there who could really pull it off walk up to the counter and say "hmm what's it? apple juice?" just as the doctor came around the corner and her took a big swig. The look on the doctor's face was priceless. (and yeah, it was apple juice)

I got these two drinks on Sunday hoping they’d be Russian colas. I opened one today and I smelled it and I said “nope, not gonna do it.” I’m not sure what it smelled like, but it smelled absolutely vile. So I decided to try the second one. It smelled sort of like sweet tea. So I took a small sip from the bottle. I was in the garage and I automatically spit it out on the garage floor. I couldn’t even make it to the lawn. I had to spit it out right then and there. My mom didn’t get mad because she figured it must have been pretty vile for me to do that. It defiently wasn’t tea. I’m not sure. Very strong ginger and nutmeg or cinnamon or some sort of spice. But it was absolutely nasty.