[lizardlady]

Folks, this is an outright plea for hugs and support. I returned to work today after a week off. I was as actually looking forward to going back.

There are some people who have made my life miserable the last six months or so. They do not work for our agency. They make referrals to us. They wanted me to do things outside the scope of what our program does. I professionally, politely explained I could not do what they wanted. When I didn't do what they wanted they called my boss to complain. He gave them the same answers I did. Last week they called his boss to complain. Apparently they trashed me in the phone call. Now there's a meeting Wednesday with my boss, his boss and me to discuss the whole ugly mess.

I am so (insert several of your favorite curse words here) angry! I do a damned good job. I make a difference in the lives of the kids I work with. I have been a consummate professional in my dealings with this "female dog" person. She's using bully tactics (threatening to stop referring) to try and get her way.

I called a friend today and told her she needed to "talk me off the ledge." I was ready to quit. My job is stressful enough (work with at risk kids). I don't need this additional stress. I guess I'm asking y'all to also talk me off the ledge. I need hugs and I need support.

Hmm, just occurred to me that some might interpret "talk me off the ledge" to mean I'm thinking of hurting myself. Don't in any way mean that. It's a saying my friends and I use to mean we need support.

So again, blatant request for hugs.

[happysobercrafter]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((lizardlady))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) and MORE Hugs and Kisses!!!

I am thinking that the meeting on Wednesday doesn't mean you are in trouble, right? Hopefully, you three will talk about how to manage that person" who sounds like she has serious anger issues.

I am sorry you had to go through that!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

[lizardlady]

Thanks for the hugs.
I outright asked my boss if the meeting Wednesday was for disciplinary action. He said I'm not in trouble, but his boss wants to hear what I have to say.

I'm struggling to not let old stuff impact my reactions. This person is very controlling. Some of her tactics strike me as the sort of things abusers do - do what I want or you will be punished.

[Nammu]

I'm so sorry. (((((((( Liz)))))))))

People like that love drama too. I'm glad your boss said its not that you're in trouble but it sounds like the bosses boss isn't strong enough to just stand up to her and tell her there's rules in place. That sucks.

[happysobercrafter]

Have you written down what you need to tell them? Can you remember her wording?

I agree; she sounds abusive. Telling someone do as I say or else is flat out manipulation. She sounds like a bully and I am glad your boss's boss wants your input!

[unaluna]

This is the Trump effect. If the president acts like a butt and gets what he wants, why cant i do the same thing? Why do i have to follow the rules, nobody else does, only suckers.

I would be tempted to go off on her, to act crazier than she does. Otherwise the craziest acting person wins.

Im so glad im retired. I cant take this anymore. And people wonder why i dont leave the house? Hugs hugs and more hugs. Im so sorry.

[Travelinglady]

Oh, liz, I'm sorry you're having to deal with such people. I suspect your boss knows how good you are and just wants to hear your side so he can support you. I hope so, anyway! Here are some hugs:

[lizardlady]

Thanks everyone.

My boss is a good guy. Best boss I ever had. He's told me he thinks this woman is a pain in the arse. He also told me he knows I do a good job. Actually he once said I do an awesome job.

Unaluna, you don't know how badly I've wanted to go redneck crazy on the female dog person.

There's going to be an opening in one of our other offices soon. I'd being doing the same job with the same boss, just a different location. I'm seriously asking for a transfer.

[happysobercrafter]

@lizardlady

Good Morning!! Do you feel better this morning?

[Taylor27]

Hugs @lizardlady i hope you feel better this morning

[lizardlady]

Yeah, I'm a bit better today. I'm formulating a gameplan. Always helps me if I have a plan. Actually I have several plans. What I do depends on how the meeting goes tomorrow with boss's boss.
I'll let y'all know how it goes.

[Sunflower123]

Sending many hugs and best wishes your way. I hope the meeting goes well. I will be thinking of you and sending supportive vibes tomorrow. ((((HUGS))))

[eskielover]

Yea....bosses usually want the big picture & to hear everything from everyone involved so they can plan their strategy to make sure no facts are missing. Glad you are working for very supportive bosses.

A move of location might be a very good idea. Let someone else deal with this "female dog"person.

Wishing you the best tomorrow. Just the facts will get you through this I am sure.

It is hard not to go off on people like that. I struggled unsuccessfully not going off like that in my marriage. But it never solved the real problem.

[lizardlady]

You're right about going off on people Eskie. It's been a temptation but doing it just causes more problems.

[happysobercrafter]

@lizardlady

How did it go? Do you want to talk about it or no? I will respect your choice either way.

xoxoxox

[lizardlady]

Thanks for asking happycamper.

The meeting went very well. I'm feeling a whole lot better. I must have looked like a deer in the headlights (panicked) when I went into the meeting. He started off saying it was okay, that this was not a bad meeting.

He wanted to hear my take on what's been going on. I kept my cool and spoke professionally. Watching his body language and the things he said, he'd come to the same conclusions I had. He told her that some of the things she wants to happen are NOT going to happen. (She wants to read my case notes after I see kids!!! )

The Queen B called him the day after their conference call with my boss. She insisted on a face-to-face meeting with him, my boss her boss and a bunch of other people. I asked if I was supposed to be there. (She keeps scheduling things and wanting me excluded) He asked if I wanted to be there and said he'd schedule it for when I get back from my time off next week.

I mentioned I'm worried about not getting enough referrals. He told me not to worry about it, that if they don't want our services we get plenty of referrals from other areas. I have been so afraid of getting in trouble or fired if I don't keep my numbers up. This was a HUGE weight off my shoulders.

Before we ended the meeting he told me he'd heard good things about me and my work, including from the head of quality assurance for the agency.

End results - I'm not worried about my job. I'm not afraid of being disciplined if referrals go down. I am not going to ask to transfer to the other office. I'm going to keep doing my job, the way I do my job because I'm damned good at what I do.

Thank you to everyone for your support. The last few days were very stressful. I really appreciate everyone's help.

[Nammu]

:dancingchili: way to go!

[happysobercrafter]

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eskielover]

Awesome results all the way around & feeling more secure & confident on top of it all. That is success!!!!

[Travelinglady]

Wonderful news! I didn't think your boss would be against you.

[BeaFlower]

((((Liz)))) I arrive a bit late, but I want to send you my hugs and support for your work I'm sure you always do your best and it will be appreciated!

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Thanks everyone.

My boss is a good guy. Best boss I ever had. He's told me he thinks this woman is a pain in the arse. He also told me he knows I do a good job. Actually he once said I do an awesome job.

Unaluna, you don't know how badly I've wanted to go redneck crazy on the female dog person.

There's going to be an opening in one of our other offices soon. I'd being doing the same job with the same boss, just a different location. I'm seriously asking for a transfer.

Oh my gosh, I felt and related too well to your struggle, got as far as this post and see what I was hoping to see, at least having your boss in your corner.
Some just do indeed make every edge to get what they want and it doesn't matter to them who gets hurt in the process. I feel sorry for them, truly do, for the wake of destruction along their path.

Hugs to you

[lizardlady]

Thanks again everyone. I'm sure the Queen B will continue her attacks. It's who she is and what she does. I'm feeling more prepared to handle it.

This brought up old stuff from long ago. My father would attack me, no one would defend me and I couldn't defend myself. I'm not that scared little one any more. I can defend myself and my boss has my back. This next school year may include attacks from her, but I'm prepared.

Am going to confess to being mean enough myself to hope to be a witness when karma bites her in the butt.

[MickeyCheeky]

Sending hugs and positive vibes to you, @lizardlady! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

[SlumberKitty]

Hugs Hugs Hugs @lizardlady Hugs Hugs Hugs