DISGUSTED WITH LIFE..................disgusted with the government

if you finally figured it out ? you were being discriminated because of a disability. which cheated you out of a job a career and a life ? would you not be depressed ? i have all these people praying for me. but i feel like God must hate me ? i'm a zombie from taking all these psych drugs. i hate and cant trust people because of all this > and psych drugs are supposed the be ? THE ANSWER ? there must be another answer ? but where ? i feel totally fried within. burned out. and the government shunned me too

@zippity-dooda,

I'm sorry that you are having a rough time and that the meds seem to be making it worse. I know what you mean about being cheated out of so much of life because of your disability. I'm in the same situation. I've worked hard on learning to accept and enjoy the life I have, but on bad days, I can barely make it through. I am having a depressive episode right now, and people tell me all that junk about how to "snap out of it." That's just what it is: junk. When it comes from people who matter, it still hurts sometimes. People do not understand that most of us would give anything to not be mentally ill.

It's good that you have some people praying for you. That means they are on your side and want to see you get better. The God I believe in does not hate anyone; He loves us all. Some days, though, when my various symptoms have been unbearable, I have felt that if God really cared about me, He would just take away those symptoms .

I think meds are supposed to be one part of the answer to things. For me, the a therapy, a lot of effort, and supportive people also help.. Sometimes it takes a long time to find the right combination of medications for you. Sometimes meds make you feel awful when you first start them, but the side effects go away in time. But if you have been taking the meds for a while and still feel this way, you should contact your doctor. Something probably needs to be changed.

I have not found the answer either, but I care and hope you will find the right meds for you.

I feel for you. Yes, meds are one aspect of coping with mental illness -= but it's very difficult to practice other methods of coping when you're falling asleep all over the place and a breathing zombie.

And the government? What can anyone say? The government is a mess.

Personally, I believe fully that prayer works, so that part of what you said, I think is great. It is really, really super hard having a profound case of one of these illnesses. I have lost everything but my life (career, two partners totaling 29 years, children, virtually all family, virtually all 'friends') and even that is, at times, literally hanging by a gossamer strand. So hard. And yet, I am still alive for some kind of reason I do not really understand. So, I press on.

I try hard not to get too far ahead of myself. Expectation management. I have zero long-term plans. My plan is to sleep tonight and get through tomorrow alive. That's the plan. I will take my meds, which are very helpful, but far from perfect. I will try to find a way to get some support--PC seems to be really good for that. Lots of folks with similar experiences. I will try to do at least one semi-fun thing. And I will make it. Do I feel cheated? Honestly? Yes. Yes, I do. This illness has basically destroyed my life and everything in it. But what choice do I have? I have to carry on and make the most of it. Do my best. I just don't believe in that other drastic option--not an option for me.

I had to go through many, many med changes over the years to get to where I am now. Try to be patient if you can and hang in there. There really are meds that work pretty well for most people, IMO. And I second the remark about staying close in touch with your pdoc. They can only help if they know what's going on. Sending you positive vibes!!

I'm feeling disgusted too..
and I can't even take the meds