Is there anyone else out there that has a notable age gap between themself and their partner/spouse? If so, what is the age difference and does that cause any issue(s)?

I married my husband when I just turned 26 and he was almost 38. I didn't see any issues with it, and neither did he. He had been married and divorced before then. It felt slightly odd, since my first major love was my age and never married. I remember my dad telling me to ask my future husband if he was married (worrying he was was while dating me).

I don't really think our age difference was a big deal back then, but it seems to be slightly more so now that I'm in my late 40s and he's 61. He's a bit sensitive, as of late, for a couple reasons. The fact that I look a bit younger than my age doesn't help. A couple strangers have made comments. Hubby was clearly sensitive to that.

I have crushes even on men older than my husband. I guess I do have a bit of an age max, or more mental age than actual, but likely higher than most women.

Note: The ballet dancer in my picture was only 15 years old.

[Mountaindewed]

My sister is 8 years younger then my brother in law. He was also married before. I think he started dating my sister right after the divorce was finalized or something. They had my oldest nephew before they were married. They got married in the courthouse when my nephew was just about to turn 1. And they have been happily married now for 5 years with 2 kids.

[Sometimes psychotic]

My bf is ten years older, I only worry about when he’s retired and I’m still working.

[*Beth*]

Yes. My husband is 16 years my senior. 18/34 when we met. Initially, the age gap didn't effect us that much. I was a responsible 18 year old and he seemed youthful for his age. Now? I'm a mature 56 year old and he's still stuck around age 25. But I had come out of a very messed up childhood; I didn't recognize that there were oddities about my husband. For example, he has severe OCD and depression, but refuses treatment.

The generation gap between us feels monumental now.

[bpcyclist]

Interesting question, BD. My partner/not partner/not sure even what we are right now is 14 years my junior. I don't think anything of it. She was always attracted to older guys. I seem to be stuck somewhere in my 30s somewhere. I don't think this has any impact on things for us.

[luvyrself]

BirdDancer, are you the dancer in your ? What a lovely pose.

Thanks, everyone, for sharing on this topic!

@luvyrself, yes that's me, but at 15 years old. That's over 30 years ago.

[eskielover]

My dad was 9 years older than my mom when they got married (WWII before he went over to Germany)

My dad had issues. My mom was the first person he dated & he was the first person my mom dated. The age difference not an issue really till older. My dad died of congestive heart failure at 70. That left my mom to figure out how to do life on her own because all of their marriage, she depended on him for almost everything.

Just numbers say that USUALLY the older person dies first leaving quite a few years without them depending on the age difference. The thing is, that if you have a wonderful relationship....that is more important than age difference since there are no guarantees in life anyway.

Lol....I was the same age as my EX & it was a bad relationship from the beginning.....so I go for focus on relationship over age difference

Originally Posted by eskielover

My dad was 9 years older than my mom when they got married (WWII before he went over to Germany)

My dad had issues. My mom was the first person he dated & he was the first person my mom dated. The age difference not an issue really till older. My dad died of congestive heart failure at 70. That left my mom to figure out how to do life on her own because all of their marriage, she depended on him for almost everything.

Just numbers say that USUALLY the older person dies first leaving quite a few years without them depending on the age difference. The thing is, that if you have a wonderful relationship....that is more important than age difference since there are no guarantees in life anyway.

Lol....I was the same age as my EX & it was a bad relationship from the beginning.....so I go for focus on relationship over age difference

Hi Eskielover. I worry about my husband passing before me, as you dad did before your mom. I am very dependent on my husband in several ways. He does almost everything, nowadays, except cook and basic cleaning of the house, which I do. I am on disability and have been.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hi Eskielover. I worry about my husband passing before me, as you dad did before your mom. I am very dependent on my husband in several ways. He does almost everything, nowadays, except cook and basic cleaning of the house, which I do. I am on disability and have been.

My mom actually became more independent & capable after losing my dad in many ways. She still had issues but she managed well on her own most of the time & got help when she needed it

Originally Posted by eskielover

My mom actually became more independent & capable after losing my dad in many ways. She still had issues but she managed well on her own most of the time & got help when she needed it

I'm glad for your mom. Thanks for sharing about this. I have thought about this particular part of the topic a while back, but you reminded me again. My old therapist used to push me to get more involved in the financials for my household. I have been delinquent about doing so. My husband does everything online/paperless. That kind of scares me.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I'm glad for your mom. Thanks for sharing about this. I have thought about this particular part of the topic a while back, but you reminded me again. My old therapist used to push me to get more involved in the financials for my household. I have been delinquent about doing so. My husband does everything online/paperless. That kind of scares me.

I do everything online that I can. Knowing the household finances is important....sometimes because it makes running the home more of a teamwork effort. My degree was in Accounting & Computer science so it was an easy transition for me. Once you become part of the routine it really becomes natural.

My EX was so financially irresponsible & when I ended up too sick to handle the finances, he destroyed us financially....so it is important to have a team effort & understanding of household finances.

[luvyrself]

There are possible eventual caregiver issues in the senior years with a big age difference, but those can occur regardless. It’s something to plan ahead for no matter the ages involved.