[BBB2]

Hi
I met my online friend on a fanfiction site.

She wants to be a published author. She seems to think that her fanfiction is basically publishable, only has to change names and a few plot points.

I tried to be gentle and supportive, but realistic. Not sure I managed it.

I feel bad for telling her she probably needs to do a lot of work on her fics and they're not as unique as she thinks they are. I tried to be very polite about it.

And I suggested she join a writer's group so that she can meet with people who can really advise her.

My question is: how do you manage the balance between being a good friend and an unspportive one?

Should I have only told her to "go for it!"? I'm worried I've knocked her confidence or not been the friend she needs and deserves,

I should also add, she's middle-aged, with kids and a part time job.

[Sometimes psychotic]

For me as a friend you get to be cheerleader until they start wasting money on vanity publishing or something truly detrimental....let someone else tell them. 100 rejections later from editors they’ll get the message. Not your job.

[~Christina]

Just be supportive. I’m a huge lover of Indie book authors on Amazon that I get for my Kindle .... many of my favorite authors started by writing fan fiction.

[mote.of.soul]

You were okay, you were just trying to be honest with your friend. If you were being gentle about it, then, that's fine.

But, if you felt that maybe you were a bit brutal in certain areas, then perhaps let her know your feelings and just say sorry.

Sometimes for the sake of a cherished friendship, simple acceptance of how they are and what they think about things, is an act of love.

[bpcyclist]

I am also a writer, though I honestly did not know what fanfiction was. Anyway, as noted above, a good editor is your answer, as they will be honest and forthright. It will also help her, killing two birds with one stone. I just had a professional edit my novel. Super useful.

[*Beth*]

I have been in the very awkward position of reading a friend's writing, it was poorly written, and I would have felt like a dishonest person if I would have told them the truth. What I did was ask questions, then listen really well, as a good friend should. As in, "I read the part about 'xxxxx'; was it fun to write that part? Or, "Wow, the page that told the story of your experience with 'xxxxx' was so sad...was it hard for you to write about that time in your life?"

Also, recommending a writing group is a good idea, I think. Years ago a friend and I started a writer's group for women poets. It was a critique group, so everyone participated in reading each poem and making suggestions.

The group was more successful that my friend and I ever imagined it would be. And there was a natural order to it. Those who really loved writing poetry and had a gift for it stayed; those who didn't drifted away.

[KD1980]

I think you are a good friend, because you want her to do better. You gave her helpful advice and guided her in a direction that'll help her in the long run.

[WastingAsparagus]

I think everyone needs to deal with other people having opinions about things. The opinions of others have nothing to do with us. Unless you want to follow someone's advice, opinions are just what they are: subjective.

That was a long-winded way of saying that what you said was fine. It's okay to give people constructive criticism--being a writer myself--I'd rather receive constructive criticism than outright praise (especially if it's dishonest praise).