[AzureBlueSky]

I have this very big life decision I need help with.

I live in state that I'm not happy living in. I've been thinking heavily about moving to another state to which I've visited during all seasons. I'm happy about its climate and nice neighborhoods. I've even established a realtor there who has shown me around and I've narrowed it down to a few areas that I really like.

My work environment at my job in the state I live in now is somewhat toxic. Somewhat of a two-faced boss, and a seperate office manager who is a screamer. I'm very tough so I can deal with it. However the company I work for is extraordinarily financially secure with loads of cash to get through several of the worst economic downturns imaginable and still be financially strong. My career itself is also highly recession proof. Over a decade with the company I make good money now, with enough extra each month to save for retirement. This is what keeps me at my place of employment - Stability and good pay and excellent heath benefits. Am I 100% happy working for them? Not really. But I feel very fortunate and very thankful for what I have.

I bought my home right before the 2007-ish downturn occurred, and at that time my home value plummeted and I was stuck in my house for almost 10 years, and so I was unable to make a decision earlier in my life. That has since changed as I've owned my home for about 15 years and have gained a lot of equity, and the realestate market is good. Right now, I am on target to pay off my house on or before I plan to retire in 15 years. This is what keeps me in this home even though I've also become very unhappy with the neighborhood I live in.

Essentially my financial goals are on track and I'm sailing smoothly right now.

However, I feel like I need a change - Part of me want's to take a leap of faith and sell my home, get out of this neighborhood and state that I dislike and move to where I believe I would be happy. I keep asking myself - Is leaving a highly secure job and a home that's almost paid off doing the right thing?

The other part of me is very worried about the "What-if's" ... What if starting all over I won't be able to make my retirement goals in 15 years (house paid off and savings) What if - I can't find a job in the new state? What if the new company isn't financially stable and I lose my job during the next downturn?

I never used to be this indecisive when I was younger. I was a confident free-spirt then. I've packed up and moved many times to further my career when I was younger and bought and sold homes. The difference between then and now is when I was younger I knew I had a lot of time to make up for possible bad decisions. Interestingly, I don't regret any of those life changes back then. However, now that I'm a bit older I feel a bit more cautious.

Am I complicating things by over thinking? Paralysis by analysis? I just don't know. Have you ever felt trapped in your life not knowing which way to turn? Have you ever wanted to take a leap of faith but were afraid to do so? That's how I feel now.

Any insight is much appreciated.

[divine1966]

Well I immigrated across the pond so I know all well about leap of faith. But in my situation I was in my 30s and I was moving for a more stable life. I wouldn’t consider moving in my mid 50s unless it was going to be something significantly better. I am working towards a pension. I’d not be able to start somewhere else and get a pension so my plans do not include moving out of state. Maybe after retirement?

Sometimes grass is greener on the other side.

On the other hand life is short and if you feel like moving then maybe it’s worth a try. I’d look for a job there though. I’d not move without a job lined up.

[StrugglingMama]

"Have you ever felt trapped in your life not knowing which way to turn? Have you ever wanted to take a leap of faith but were afraid to do so? That's how I feel now."

I feel trapped every day. You have to do what you feel is right, but you are right to question leaving an incredibly stable financial situation. Several things to potentially ask yourself/ponder.

Are your thoughts just "the grass is always greener on the other side" which can turn into a nightmarish mistake.

If you sell your house and leave your job, do you see being able to attain any level of financial stability in the new location? Ideal locations and dreams die with financial struggles.

Do you have a support network of any kind in the new location?

Now would be a very challenging time to take risks, but if you have the financial means, then considering them and pursuing them are something you can do.

I am stuck in a toxic relationship, I cannot afford to leave. My "career" is "professional" but underpaid, no benefits, no sick days, holidays, healthcare, vacation etc... My skills through the organizations have been developed specifically to what is done there and are not very applicable to another job. I would give anything to have a home of my own that I could afford. I just urge caution for you is all.

Is there anything you can do to change your life in its current location to make it more enjoyable, perhaps things you haven't considered?

Pursuing your dreams is something everyone should be able to do, just do so with planning, and caution. Sometimes being comfortable can make one blind to the challenges that can occur around the corner.
Be careful, and I hope you find the right decision for you and succeed at whatever it is you pursue.

[AzureBlueSky]

Originally Posted by StrugglingMama

You have to do what you feel is right, but you are right to question leaving an incredibly stable financial situation. Several things to potentially ask yourself/ponder .....

Thank you for your suggestions and questions .... Let me answer them...

"Are your thoughts just "the grass is always greener on the other side" which can turn into a nightmarish mistake."

I don't believe that the grass is always greener on the other side. Although when we make a life change, believing that the grass is greener on the other side is what motivates us to consider the change. And so I would have to say it is major part of the reason, but not the total reason.

I had that happen once before, and I will never make a hasty mistake again. I was working in tech support with 10% sales duties. I excelled in sales to the point of winning presidents club award. I thought the grass would be greener (and the dollars too) leaving tech support and going into the sales department and so I did and I hated it. Hindsight being 20/20, I realized that I was better off with a bit lower pay and less stress. So yes, I understand hasty decisions and that's why I'm cautious.

"If you sell your house and leave your job, do you see being able to attain any level of financial stability in the new location? Ideal locations and dreams die with financial struggles."

That's a very wise statement. I agree.

Yes, I have a college degree, lots of skills and experience. The industry I work in now is always in need of veterans with years of experience. With my experience I can most likely get a job in the new location.

However, skills and experience mean very little in a major economic downturn. So many educated and experienced people out of work now.

Money isn't everything in life, but without it, or very little of it life would be a depressing struggle. So I would need to secure a good job in the new state first before making a move.

"Do you have a support network of any kind in the new location?"

No family or friends in the new state just a realtor that I've become friends with. Every life move I've made I've done it alone and never told family until I made the move. I am very much a people person and make friends very easily. But being alone and living alone is what I'm used to so it wouldn't hinder me in that regard.

"Is there anything you can do to change your life in its current location to make it more enjoyable, perhaps things you haven't considered?"

Thank you for that question.

Yes, there is. I could stay in the state that I live in now and live pretty much anywhere in the state and still keep my present job. With the Cover-19 and working from home this has now become mostly the norm for this company. I could move away from this neighborhood that I dislike and move to a better, more upscale area somewhere in the same county I live in now or move upstate. There are several places within the state that are nice and safe.

The challenge I face with this is my current home only has about $100K left to pay off. If I bought again, I'm looking at $300K-400K for a new home. Putting most of the equity toward downpayment I would still be left with about $200-$250K mortgage. I would go from paying $1,300 month for my mortgage now, to about $2,500 month for a new mortgage - That would be with a 15 year loan keeping me on financial track with my retirement goal that I have now. It would be doable but very tight financially.

Of course I would have the same finacial situation buying a home in the new state I move to, pricing being about the same.

The two factors driving this change is I hate the neighborhood I live in, and the weather. Terrible weather for 8 months out of the year. That combined with the neighborhood is a cumulative effect.

It could be that I might be able to tolerate the weather If I was living in another area in the state that I really enjoyed living. New neighborhood might take away at least one stressor and make the weather tolerable. I just don't know. Although the call of beautiful weather almost 300 days a year elsewhere is very appealing.

Also, the CEO at the company I work for now is leaving in a year which means new management, new direction, and as they always do - change. Change can be good or it can be horrible. Our last change with current management was horrible, then it got better but not great. And so that is also a concern for me.

"Sometimes being comfortable can make one blind to the challenges that can occur around the corner."

Another wise statement. So true.

You are so correct on that. When we feel we're doing well where we're at now, we sometimes feel that we can conquer anything and make it work. Sometimes that doesn't always happen. This is why I am very cautious.

I appreciate all your insight.

I also wish the best for you too and hope things work out for you!

Thank you!

[StrugglingMama]

Dear AzureBlueSky,
I am so glad you did not take my questions the wrong way! You are an intelligent, articulate, and well thought out person. You are weighing all the variables and possibilities. You are aware of the potential challenges, the biggest one potentially not finding a job right away with the current economic situation. You seem very well grounded and capable of making this decision. So, I do hope whatever that decision is, you are blessed with all the positive things you are looking for. Hmmm...escaping weather, sounds like Seattle. I grew up there. I get that weather can be gloomy. I wish you all the luck no matter what, and if you post your decisions, and information about your new life, I hope to catch it.
Best Wishes!