Difference between learning from the past and living in the past

rdgrad15 · Jan 15, 2021, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I need to accept my past and realize I was doing what I could at the time with the skills and knowledge I had. It’s still hard and I try not to ruminate on it. I’m also trying now not to make the same mistakes. Mainly I’m trying to be more assertive and change situations so they don’t end up the same way they did before.

Yeah it can be hard to accept the past for what it is.

rdgrad15 · Jan 15, 2021, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettymccute

I live in the past way too much. I loved raising my sons. We had quite a unique family, and I love remembering those times. I worry the heck out of my kids now, trying to get them to remember different things that happened in our lives that they just don't recall. They are busy raising families and are happy with that.

I definitely haven't let go of the past.

I have learned a lot from the past as well-I know terrible mistakes I've made, but not letting go of my children and moving on is something I haven't managed to do. I'm woring on it. They still love me, and we still have a great relationship. I miss their childhood though. We were all so special, I can't believe they don't remember it.

Yeah I'm sure that is frustrating that your kids don't remember. How old were they? It is possible they were too young or they just have a bad memory. I barely remember my childhood before the age of 8. And even from the age of 8 to around 16, well into my teenage years, is pretty blurry to me. Basically the more stronger vivid memories started in high school in the Fall of 2006 and even those are starting to fade a bit. The memories that will most likely stick with me are memories of college and I'm sure I'll even forget parts of that. In fact, I had someone tell me I did some stuff or activities we attended in college that I have no memory of, and I wasn't a party goer either so alcohol was not involved. My college years were from 2010-2015. Unless they are just messing with me, good chance I just simply forgot about it. So it is possible that your kids genuinely just don't remember their childhoods which can be sad for you, understandably so.

KD1980 · Jan 20, 2021, 10:42 AM

I think you're living in the past if you're stuck there and on a mental loop. If you can shift focus pretty easily, you're not living in the past.

rdgrad15 · Jan 21, 2021, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KD1980

I think you're living in the past if you're stuck there and on a mental loop. If you can shift focus pretty easily, you're not living in the past.

Yep I agree. That makes sense. We all dwell on the past at some point, but it's when your stuck in a loop that it becomes a real problem. And even more so when depression or other mental illnesses are brought into play.

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Difference between learning from the past and living in the past

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