[lizardlady]

I need some input on something that happened yesterday.

First some background info...
My husband has been dead 21 years.

Religion is a sensitive subject for me. It was used as a club to beat me over the head when I was a kid. It can be a trigger for me.

It was a high stress week and I am on my last nerve.

When I got the mail yesterday there was a hand addressed letter to my husband. He gets sales fliers fairly often. I just toss them in the recycle bin and think the companies are wasting money sending stuff to dead people.

This letter caught my eye because is was hand addressed. So I opened it. There was a hand written letter pushing a particular religion. I was furious. Still am.

The calm, rational me says to just toss it with the rest of the trash. The emotional, hurt part of me wants to send this person a scathing reply ripping her a new one for thoughtlessly causing harm. It's been 21 years, but it's like she ripped the scab off my grief.

So, I could use some input from you folks. What should I do?

[divine1966]

I am sorry to hear it. It’s so infuriating

Throw it in a trash. That would be my course of action

Now if you personally knew that person and she (or he) deliberately sent letters to your husband knowing that he is dead and she (or he) wanted you to suffer, then yes, I’d say tell them off. But she of he were likely just given list of names and they followed their particular congregation’s routine about sending letters and advertising their religion. I’d not contact them. More so if you contact them, they might be prompted to open further communication “now when you are in pain it’s even more crucial that you follow our faith etc”

Pitch it. Forget it.

Sorry again. Hang in there. Sending hugs

[divine1966]

I have to add that it’s hand written on purpose. People are more likely to open it and not just toss it without opening. That’s a strategy

[lizardlady]

Thanks Divine. You are right that I am opening the door to more contact if I respond. It's similar to a phasing scam.

I need to figure out how to get rid of all this anger though. I'm ready to explode.

[downandlonely]

Maybe you can write a letter and not send it. That way you can still get your thoughts out, but not antagonize anyone.

[*Beth*]

I like downandlonely's idea...write a letter, Then do what Divine suggested and throw the stupid thing in the trash.

[lizardlady]

Am going to write my response then burn it and the offending letter.

[downandlonely]

Sounds like a good plan!

[divine1966]

Burning it is a good idea

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry for your Loss and So Sorry about what happened! i completely agree with the otherwise and wonderful posters about avoiding further replies or perhaps simply saying that you are not interested and that your Husband is no longer there. Your anger is completely understandable but i think it'd be best to keep it calm as much as possible. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @lizardlady, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[winter4me]

I'm all for a small bonfire send up.

[lizardlady]

Well, I've calmed down. I'm just going to throw the damned thing in the trash where it belongs.

[downandlonely]

Sounds good. Glad you're feeling calmer.

[unaluna]

Im glad youre not burning anything. We dont want this to turn into another gender reveal miasma!

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Im glad youre not burning anything. We dont want this to turn into another gender reveal miasma!

LOL!!!!!!

[unaluna]

Oh my. I saw a meme that said, "somebody told me that if i was mad at people to write them letters and then burn them up, so i did. (Vague graphics of flaming figures.) But now what do i do with the letters?"

[lizardlady]

Oh Unaluna! I'm still laughing. What a wonderful idea!

[divine1966]

Hahahah una. You never fail to make me laugh

[unaluna]

I didnt even go looking for this meme, it just appeared, on facebook or weightwatchers or one of my usual haunts. I couldnt believe the timing for liz! And i just love the twist ending on the usual HELPFUL advice for CLOSURE!