[LiteraryLark]

My house caught fire in September, and the landlord said it'd be ready to be liveable in a few months.

I am very conflicted about returning to this place, I don't know how to feel about moving back into a place that had caught fire. The fire destroyed half the interior but saved the exterior, and the landlord is fixing up the place as we speak.

This place was the perfect place for me. It was my first home I moved out to, and it was a great location close to everything I need and close to parents, the house was just the right size, and I was madly in love with my house.

The fire was very traumatic for me, especially after going through the Tubbs fire, and there's a lot of mixed messages I receive from my loved ones, and I ask their opinion because I really don't know how I feel about the situation...

Grandparents said they'd hop back in in a Jiffy, bestie would be apprehensive, therapist says it'd be much safer now and says yes, parents think God/Karma kicked me out for a reason, coworker said he personally went back into a house that burnt down in childhood and says yes...

...What do you think? If your house caught fire or burned down, would you want to move back in?

[Ginger Mary]

I would probably would have to for financial reasons, but since you're renting, that might not be the case for you. I think if I were you and I felt traumatized, I porobably wouldn't. I personally would be very traumatized.
I guess it also depends on whether you can find another place that suits your needs. And if you feel it would be safe to move back
I feel it's really insensitive to say God/karma kicked you out. I don't think anyone deserves that.
Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide! Let us knowhow it goes and if you need any more support (of the type we in the community could give,, please don't hesitate to ask.

[unaluna]

Dude, you ask hard questions!

[lizardlady]

Lark, I would listen to my gut. It makes sense that you have mixed feelings. Would it be possible to visit the house before you decide? If so, visit and see what your gut says.

[RoxanneToto]

I would at least have a look, see how my gut felt when I was back inside, but ultimately the real test is seeing how it felt longer term. Can you see yourself feeling more settled there in the future? Also, by asking other people for their opinion, is there actually a specific answer you’re hoping to hear? e.g. “permission” or validation to either move back in, or find a different place?

[Nammu]

This time everything will be checked out throughly and the stove properly hooked up. You can move back with confidence

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

My house caught fire in September, and the landlord said it'd be ready to be liveable in a few months.

I am very conflicted about returning to this place, I don't know how to feel about moving back into a place that had caught fire. The fire destroyed half the interior but saved the exterior, and the landlord is fixing up the place as we speak.

This place was the perfect place for me. It was my first home I moved out to, and it was a great location close to everything I need and close to parents, the house was just the right size, and I was madly in love with my house.

The fire was very traumatic for me, especially after going through the Tubbs fire, and there's a lot of mixed messages I receive from my loved ones, and I ask their opinion because I really don't know how I feel about the situation...

Grandparents said they'd hop back in in a Jiffy, bestie would be apprehensive, therapist says it'd be much safer now and says yes, parents think God/Karma kicked me out for a reason, coworker said he personally went back into a house that burnt down in childhood and says yes...

...What do you think? If your house caught fire or burned down, would you want to move back in?

yes I would and yes I have. I actually enjoyed moving back into the home that a fire happened in. heres the thing. my home that had a fire in it had all new walls, new sinks new flooring. no matter where I live I would have PTSD problems associated with the fire. PTSD symptoms are not that selective where they only happen in the building that once was on fire. they happen anywhere any time. so the memories of the fire will always be there for me, just talking with a friend while out a diner can cause my memories, emotions about that traumatic event to pop up. no matter if I move back in or not those PTSD things are going to happen.

what I did was worked with a mental health treatment provider on my PTSD problems while the house was being remodeled (your word fixed up) Then when the building was up to state and county codes I, myself and my family back into the same home where the kitchen and living room and one bedroom had been distroyed by fire. we all had a great time comparing before the fire and after the fire differences. we all had a great time rearranging new furniture,

heres an important thing about fires. in many situations they are actually considered a good thing. they promote new fresh start, new fresh life, new fresh growth. we see it every day out in nature where a devastating fire has led to new plant growth, now lease on life, and new attitudes.

my family and I have lost a home from a hurricane and we have had fire and floods. each time except the hurricane sandy we fixed up the old and moved back in. with each disaster we have experienced we have grown individually and as a family unit. we are less materialistic and more center focused on living life not on the negatives but rather on the positives.

life is going to happen, what we make of that life is up to us. thats my family's moto. we use the negatives to better ourselves and our lives.

you now have a chance to have a fresh new life, with a fresh newly rebuilt home that meets todays buildings codes and so on. you now have the chance to enjoy refurnishing a brand new home for your fresh new life. the memories of the fire will naturally subside and if they dont well Im guessing you have already been dealing with those memories even while not living in that newly remodeled place. PTSD is not selective. its going to happen and probably has already been happening all this time since the fire. and its going to continue happening no matter where you live anyway.

the choice is your's of course, for me and my family we moved right back in for a fresh new life together.

[downandlonely]

I would consider it but also look at other places in my price range. Personally, I like renting an apartment because they take care of all the maintenance and yard work.

[divine1966]

I’d move back if it was fixed. I’d go look how it looks now and then decide. As long as it’s safe and livable I don’t see why not, that’s if I am the owner. I’d have to sell after it’s fixed if I wasn’t moving back

On the other hand if it was a rental property then I’d just go elsewhere. I never felt tied up to a rental

When you say “my” house do you own it?

I suppose it depends if I want to and if it feels right and if I didn't have anywhere else to go. What do you want?

[LiteraryLark]

I would like to return to the place, but I'm not in a position financially to do so. And I realized I wasn't able to afford it while I was living there, so now I have a lesson learned to really think through the cost before accepting another house.

[downandlonely]

Well it's a good thing you realized that. Is your current home more affordable?

[LiteraryLark]

I live with my parents at the moment and they are not charging me rent. I am currently looking into higher paying work so I can afford a decent place.

[downandlonely]

OK. I've had to stay with my parents too when I was broke.

Good luck in the job search!