[radio_flyer]

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas .. They hired him because he was so funny.....(I don't know if this is true, but it sure is funny)

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available . If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 lbs .?:Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock! ***

[sabby]

[I_WMD]

Radio that is so good >>> ,, Those job fair thingys that help you to learn how to better answer an employment application ??

Those kinda answers are the ones ya put on applications when you are fulfilling Unemployment conditions ,,, LOL .. >> Don't hire me .

I 've never had a paid vacation .

[splitimage]

LOL

[Typo]

Oh my goodness. I am from Arkansas and I would like to say that that application probably exist. People around here are like that LOL. You have to be when it is rainy and 65 one day and the very next day it is 23 and snowing. That is hilarious..thank you for sharing..I'll have to think of this tomorrow during my English finals!!

[gimmeice]

LOL

[TaintedGoth1]

OMFG! That's just hilarious!

I think you can add that to the list of funniest things...that and explanations by kids about marriage...those are super funny, too!

[RozG]

LOL that's funny. Like when you're sent for a job by the employment bureau you don't want...i always put silly things like:

sex: yes please...lol

[crazybones]

hahahahaha im cracking up just reading this omg its so darn funny i needed a good laugh