weaning off depakote

Hi,

I am currently taking 80mg of geodon and 1000mg of depakote. Also taking celexa and wellbutrin for depression. My psychiatrist diagnosed me as bipolar but my Psychologist (who I have weekly, hour long sessions with, unlike the psychiatrist who I see once every month or so for 15 minutes) diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and major depression. When I went into the mental hospital for two weeks after my wife filed for divorce I was diagnosed with "Mood disorder not otherwise specified."

I guess it doesn't really matter what the diagnosis is. I just know that I am on too many meds. I will say the this large cocktail helped me through my divorce and subsequent self induced stressors. I had multiple verbal violent outbursts at my ex and felt like I had completely lost control. I went absolutely crazy. I couldn't accept that she was divorcing me.

Well, due to some violent texts I sent I cannot see my kids for who knows how long. I have a no contact order from the judge barring me from contacting my ex. I went to jail for the texts, and unless my attorney can work a miracle I will have a record. I'm in a world of hurt but it's my fault. I have made two suicide attempts in the past year and still think about it frequently. I truly hate myself for the pain that I have caused, and I look back scratching my head wondering what the hell happened. I had it all: the wife, kids, house, etc. The American dream. I was also very close to her family. Two days ago I saw both her and her parents in court where I was facing my charges (two misdemeanors) that sent me to jail. It was surreal to see them in a court of law supporting their daughter who was pressing charges against me. Even though it's my fault, it still seems surreal to me. I've spent the last year blaming her and her family for divorcing me and taking the kids away from me. But now I am finally accepting responsibility for my actions. I got myself here. Maybe I can finally let go of her by letting go of the blame and resentment.

This large cocktail of meds have served their purpose but I feel completely numbed out. I am in a high level sales position and I can barely remember anything that I'm told. A week ago my boss was riding around with me and within two days I had asked him the same question 3 times. That's how bad my memory is. I forget to handle customer requests and follow ups. I have a very low energy level. I take nuvigil (stimulant) that I order online as occasional pick me ups (I have sleep apnea - this is how I know about nuvigil) and even that doesn't help a ton.

I was on 2000mg of depakote but due to the tremors I went down to 1500. I am constantly clearing my throat and have no idea why. My voice is raspy. I guess I do have an idea why: side effects of the meds.

Due to my job and me barely hanging on by a thread I have recently dropped down to 1000mg in hopes to improve the fog. I plan on getting off depakote completely and maybe dropping the geodon down to 60 mg. I feel I am truly over medicated. I plan on dropping 500mg every two weeks until I'm off (depacote).

Due to my explosive temper I do not doubt that I need a mood stabilizer; I just don't feel that I need this much.

Sorry for the long post but it felt good to get my feelings out. I want to find some hope again and know that I do have value; that if I kill myself it will harm my kids terribly. Sometimes when I am so down it's hard to see that.

Anyways, back to the original post: does anyone have experience getting off depakote? Anyone else on a large cocktail of meds like this? Anyone have raspy, scratchy throat?

I have been on these meds for over a year now.

Thanks.

Hi D-75 I have been on a cocktail of meds refer to my post here that I'm finally having a change. I hope all the changes your not doing yourself. I don't have any depakote advise. You have a doctors doing these reductions I hope. Especially when you have had past problems. If you have your doctors consent if anything happens it may be possible not to be charged with anything. I'm wondering were you on any meds before or during the marriage?