[Legend69]

Life is hard, I’ve endured much in my lifetime as have we all. I have never been on meds or been diagnosed with anything other than PTSD due to abuse throughout my childhood. I’ve accomplished much, the most significant of which is that I had overcome my childhood, I was a victorious survivor. Fast forward 30 years. In May of this year, I was once again a victim of sexual assault, though not outright rape so there was no recourse for the assailant. For me, on the other hand, it opened up a Pandora’s box. It was a traumatic event and I think it is understandable that I went a little crazy. Maybe a lot crazy. Still, understandable I think. I was immediately placed under TDO and taken to a psych ward. This is immediately after the assault. I was given no therapy except for the five minutes allotted to me by the psychiatrist at the ward who insisted I was major depressive and prescribed me anti-psychotics and anti-depressants. I wasn’t depressed before the incident. Blindly I thought he knew best. I was on seroquel, Klonopin and Lexapro. I weaned myself off the seroquel within a month because I didn’t believe I needed to take anti psychotics if I wasn’t psychotic in the first place. Next, I exchanged my Lexapro for Zoloft, my outpatient psychiatrist said it had less side efffects. 3 weeks ago, I took my last zoloft. The withdrawals were terrible but I made it through. Now all I have left is the Klonopin. I was prescribed 1 mg a day and at one point was told 1.5 mg a day might make me feel better. I may have taken 1 or 1.5 a couple random days in these last 5 months, but mostly I only ever took .5 mg before bed. I am trying to reduce my dose, but every reduction throws my mind and body into an upheaval and I end up going back to the .5. I cannot get off this Klonopin.

There is no question attached to this post. I think what I needed most was to unload this story off my chest. Thank you for having this community so that I can at least feel like my story is being heard by others who are going through the same thing.