Memorial day weekend has always been an issue with me. Tomorrow, May 25th, marks the anniversary of my dad's death.

This June 3rd will be the five month anniversary of my mother's death.

I won't be home to put flowers on my family's graves and I'm really having a hard time dealing with that. Even though someone put flowers there "for" me, it's just not the same. It should've been me doing the honors this first year.

I also wish now that we had buried my two brothers in the same cemetery as my parents. It feels strange that they should be separate. But at least the brothers are together in death as they always were in life, and mom and dad are finally together again.

I understand how my mom felt when she moved out of state. She felt she'd left her husband and her two sons all alone.

I tried to tell her that "the boys," as we referred to my brothers, were not really there. I believed that then but it's hard for me to convince myself of that now.

With the recent suicide of my sister-in-law last month, my inner ten-year-old empathizes with her nine-year-old son and is kinda feeling the childhood pain once again. It forever lurks in my body and runs through my veins. I have come to the conclusion that the little girl will never truly heal. The wound went too deep.

It was a confusing time for a kid to say the least, to have your father die on Memorial Day weekend and then see everyone "party" every year when all I wanted to do was cry and sometimes die. I didn't get the difference between honoring the dead versus celebrating their death.

I would also like to take a minute to honor my uncle, who was killed in action in WWII. Even though I never knew him, he is buried with my grandparents and I used to "see" him on a regular basis.

Blossom, over and out.

[Miracle1986]

(((Blossom))) I feel your pain.

((((orange))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Im so sorry for all your losses. Im also sorry I just saw this now.
Its so hard to lose family members. Its so hard when you can not get to where they are buryed. You can send flowers if this helps and they will place them on the grave for you. I know its not the same. As i was unable to visit my parents and grandparents and friends this weekend. To pay my respects and put flowers out.
My father in law passed on fathers day. My daughter said to day that was the last year she bought a card.
You have lost so much this year. My thoughts are with you. My prayers are with you.
Please know I care.

[modelcarguy]

I understand your pain, this is not a good weekend for many. I am hoping to be able to go to my father's grave and place flowers tomorrow. If my car will make the trip. Dad is buried next to his parents and near his sister's husband so I can get to 4 at once there. Then his brother and his wife and children are all in another cemetary in another town. I don't know if I can do it.....

[nowheretorun]

((Blossom))))) praying for peace for you always..

Thanks everyone. I tried not to be sad today and I held out pretty good. But boy-oh-boy, am I feeling it at the moment.