[anjelmarie]

It will be 4 years and I am not handling it any better. It feels like she just died. I can't even get up to her grave, don't have money to get there. I'm estranged from my siblings. They made decision on their own to take her off lifesupport and then called to tell me she was dying I needed to get up there fast. Then they treated me like I wasn't a part of the family since that day. Even at the wake and funeral they barely talked to me. They talked amongst themselves and left me out. My sister told me the funeral plans by email. I didn't want to be involved in that I was too far gone. It wasn't expected her death and I'm still upset about why it even happened. It shouldn't have. I'm mad at everyone. I can't get over this. How long do I have to be in this pain.

[purple_fins]

So sorry for your pain.

maybe if you can't get to her grave, you could do something around your town/home that your mom enjoyed(like going to a coffee shop if she liked doing that, or a pet shop if she liked looking at puppies, or an art museum if she liked art).... or plant a flower in the yard or in a flower pot in her memory.

best to you

fins

[anjelmarie]

Thank you. I will try to think of something I can do in memory of her.