[bobobear]

My son is currently in placement by his own choice he now wants to come back. He is very manipulative, he will say whatever he can to get what he wants and does not care who it hurts

[lynn P.]

((bobobear)) - could you share what kind of placement your son is in and how old he is? Has he been diagnosed with anything? If he's very manipulative and an adult, then he should use the strength he has to manipulate.... to get a job and be self sufficient. If you don't feel its healthy for you to let him come live with you, then by all means tell him this and don't feel guilty. As a parent there comes a time when an adult child needs to survive on their own. I understand this is a hard thing to do and its natural to have mixed feeling, even grief. I wish you and your son a peaceful resolution. Don't let him take advantage of you.

[bobobear]

My son is is CYS placement and is 16. He chose to go there because I moved from one state to another and he hated it. We went to court and CYS said that he did not have to come home if he did not want to. He made false accusations against myself, his principal, other children, my pets, neighbors etc. Yesterday he called me and was verbally abusive, accused me of being intoxicated(I was not) I had taken a Vicodin for a pulled rotator cuff so was quite drowsy and explained such. He then turned numerous stories around in the middle of the conversation to put himself in the best light. He has failed 3 grades because the foster father refuses to do his homework with him. I do agree at his age it shouldn't be necessary but it is. I have suggested they take him to counseling the social worker said they cant force him to go

[bobobear]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

((bobobear)) - could you share what kind of placement your son is in and how old he is? Has he been diagnosed with anything? If he's very manipulative and an adult, then he should use those his strengths to get a job and be self sufficient. If you don't feel its healthy for you to let him come live with you, then by all means tell him this and don't feel guilty. As a parent there comes a time when an adult child needs to survive on their own. I understand this is a hard thing to do and its natural to have mixed feeling, even grief. I wish you and your son a peaceful resolution. Don't let him take advantage of you.

My son is in CPS because of his own decision. We went to court and they said that since he didn't want to come home he didn't have to. He has just recently requested a reconciliation. He has made up lies about myself, myfamily, my pets, teachers, other authority figures etc. I have suggested counseling but CPS says he doesn't have to if he doesn. He has failoed 3 grades because the foster parents wont make him do his homework. This requires you to actually sit and do it with him. I realize he is too old for this (16) but it is the only way he will do it. He talked to me this weekend and then when anything confrontational came up he then lied and manipulated the situation to put himself i the best light. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

[KathyM]

((Bobobear))

Hmmm....He's 16 and I'm assuming he's healthy. I would remind him that he learned to walk without assistance a long time ago. It's time he stops blaming the world around him and learn how to walk in the real world. If he wants to be a man one day, he'll have to have the ability to live a truthful life filled with obstacles, take responsibility for his actions, and deal with the consequences on his own. He's wasted a lot of time already, so he better get his butt in gear.

That's probably what I'd tell my son if he were like that. I'm sorry your son is causing you so much grief.

[EJ711]

Dear Bobo,

My adopted daughter is like that. Is your son biological or adopted. I feel for you and understand.

EJ

Originally Posted by bobobear

My son is currently in placement by his own choice he now wants to come back. He is very manipulative, he will say whatever he can to get what he wants and does not care who it hurts