[PairAnnoyed]

Hello
I was in a relationship with a woman for 12 years I caught her lying and cheating on me in the 10th year just days after my grandmother died. I stupidly stayed and tried to regain the trust that was shattered. But just ended up drainning myself completely. As they lying and cheating continued.
When I would catch her in a lie she would say "if i was trusting her I wouldn't have checked up on her" Instead of saying your right I'm still lying to you. All for not she left me for the other woman and commpletely blamed me for it and cut me out of her life. We have no communication and its doubtfull we ever will.
I grieved for her for a full year crying every day some times more than once a day. With the stress of it all I ended up getting diagnosed with a mental illness about 8 months after she finaly left.
I guess I'm just wondering if im going to have that sick feeling for the rest of my days. And why after all she put me through ,granted I could have and should have left, but I still loved her and tried with everything I had to save us.
Youd think with all that I'd be over her and wouldn't still be hurting but I miss her every day. I wake in the morning from sleeping and get a sick feeling in my chest of loss and aloneness. It's hard to explain its a terrible feeling . But I'm affraid I still lover her unbelivable as that is.I thought we were going to grow old together.
I read agood book called The Journey from Abandonment to Healing bye Susan Anderson it helped . Oh its been 4 years now since she finaly left me.
Thanks

[Lexicon78]

Being betrayed in such a way is such an awful blow to anyone. Unfortunately, when you are in love with someone it doesn't just stop because they are mistreating you or doing something that isn't right. Trust me, I know.

I used to think that me and my ex-fiancee would get married and live the rest of our lives out together with each other, but it wasn't so. I had to leave her because she was abusive and as soon as I was in a halfway house to escape her abuse, she was in the next woman's arms. It hurt really bad to see that since I was really in love with her, no matter how badly she treated me.

That, for me, was about 3 years ago and it still hurts sometimes. Although when I'm in this kind of position I get into other relationships to ease all that pain, when I'm alone I think of her a lot.

I think in time the pain will begin to lessen but you have to grieve the loss of this relationship first.

Hang in there and take care.

i'm sorry you were treated so badly by your girlfriend. it just takes time..i know that is such a tiresome thing to hear, but time does help. i understand that it is usually 5 years for a breakup/divorce.......my pdoc told me that years and years ago. xoxox pat