[cowboy1]

So when does this **** end. Well oviously it dosn't end for some people so what do you do to keep yourself togeather. Well I have been trying to do the best that I possibly can but I think I have hit the dirt again and this time have no clue if I will be able to pick back up again. Not only looseing my significant other but my friend a dog and now my father is sick with lung cancer. Now after today we found out he has a tumor of cancer on his brain so what do I do watch a fourth die since febuary till now? I don't think I can handle another and survive it I haven't even got over the first what the HELL. looseing one but looseing three and now looking at a fourth. I just am starting to think you can hang on for so long before you realy crumble. I am so confused right now and I feel all I have ever done is helped loved given and everything else I could do to help so I don't understand the punishment ive been receiving lately. I miss my significant so bad I havent been able to mourn her much less the rest because of trying to keep the kid's going and now my mother wow THIS JOB SUCKS I do not like it at all and do not whan't it. COWBOY1.

[Yoda]

I am sorry you are having a crap year with multiple losses. My year is crap too.

I can't fix things but here is a hug.

[Raindropvampire]

It's been 8 years but in a six month span I lost my cat of 17 years, my cousin I grew up with, my granny, my pa, my great uncle, tree fell on house, water heater exploded, mom was in car accident. Didn't seem like it was ever gonna end. I got grief counseling and it helped a lot. But i also had to learn to be very gentle with myself and allow myself time to heal. For a bit I didn't think I'd make it but I found an inner strength I didn't know I had. I have faith that you also are stronger than you think. You truly have my deepest sympathy.

[Perna]

Cowboy, you just gotta get back on the horse and in the rodeo, even knowing you will get thrown again. That is very hard, with your spouse and now your father. Do take some time for yourself; it is the giving and not refilling one's own coffers that can cause a lot of distress; remember the airline rule to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help others/your children.

You have to hang in there for them, they cannot hang in for themselves. My mother died when I was 3 and I cannot imagine, with my own problems, how my father dealt with a career and his wife so ill and dying for 6 years (brain tumor). But he did and I'm very grateful, in my own life. When my stepmother was dying I joined the National Caregiver's Association:

http://www.nfcacares.org/

That offered a little information, help, and lots of ideas to try to help myself with.

[IowaFarmGal]

I'm so sorry you are going through so much right now. I hope there is someone you can talk to locally that can give you some support and an ear to listen. You can't alway be a shoulder for everyone else without having someone to lean on yourself. I hope it helps some to have us to talk to. Hugs Cowboy!

[Leed]

My friend ~ LISTEN to these people! They all CARE! And they're right. Most of the time, we have more strength than we think we do.

Keep reading PERNA' post. She's right. You've gotta get back up time and time again. You have to be there for your kids. But you have to take time for YOU too! You have to have time to "regroup" and get your head together.

We will always be there. Just keep posting, and someone will be here.
Never feel like you're alone cause you're NOT. God bless you dear Cowboy. Hugs, Lee

[whatbeanbelieved]

I'm really sorry to hear about your year. Sometimes years are just crap and it's not in our control. It can be very ...unnerving, one feels helpless, devastated and feeling stuff you didn't choose to feel. I can only say that you must take time for yourself, and really grieve. I really hope you find some solace and that your father pulls through.
Love
Bean

[Sabrina]

Sending you strengthening thoughts cowboy

[missbelle]

You know, I had a year like that many years ago.....I lost my husband to cancer, had two major operations and my father had a heart attack putting him in intensive care at one end and my husband was at the other end. My husband died but Dad was o.k......It took me years to get over that one year so take it slow......I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time! I simply do not know what to say...I just know at times life stinks.....but somehow we go on... I don't know how, but some how we just do!