Still crying

Hi all, I joined this forum in hopes of finding some help or at least for the temporary relief from writing it all down.

Basically, I got broken up with after a very short relationship. It's been more than a year now, about thirteen months, and I just can't move on. I've done all the things they say you should do. I didn't contact him, made new friends, found new hobbies, started working overtime to keep busy etc. but it's just not helping.

I still miss him so much and cry almost every day. Some days I need to push myself to not ignore people, because I feel like if it's not him then I don't care. I'm tired of crying all the time but I just don't know what else I can do to get over this. I tried talking to doctors (two different ones) but they wouldn't give me anything. I talked to an online therapist (the face to face ones are just too expensive) but that didn't help at all as all she did was asking questions.

The breakup was really sudden, we had just come back from a trip together and went straight from that to never talking again. I'm starting to wonder if talking to him could help, but the very thought of doing it made me run to the restroom with stomach cramps a few days ago. I know that depending on what he says he could push me even deeper. I guess it's just the only thing I haven't tried yet.

People on this forum seem to be very supportive so I would appreciate any feedback or advice. Thanks a lot in advance.

Don't you have ANY clues as to why he broke up with you? Didn't you have an argument or anything? There's NOTHING that happened that can explain this?

You are deserving of an answer. Since you went on a trip with him, and after you two came back, and he never talked with you again -- you deserve an answer!!! Of course it's been quite some time, and he might think you're a little whacko by wanting to know what happened after 13 months of not talking -- but if it's bothering you THAT much I suggest you just ask him. Actually, I would have suggested you let it go, and get on with your life -- but it looks like you're not able to do that.

Can you text him? Can you call him? I''d try to do something where I didn't have to do it face-to-face.

Best of luck. Take care. Hugs, Lee

Hi Leed,

Indeed, unfortunately I just can't let it go. I haven't the slightest clue how to even do that. I just keep crying and being miserable. All I want is to have him back in my life.

He did say his feelings weren't strong enough, that's pretty much it but I guess that's enough of a reason. However, I'm not sure that asking for more details would help me. Does hearing why you aren't good enough for the person you love have any positive impact at all? I can't imagine it does anything but give you more guilt to deal with.

Either way, thanks a lot for your reply. I welcome any opinions because I'm out of ideas myself.

Well, if he said that, I wouldn't press it any further. Things like this happen. One person falls for the other harder and gets hurt. It happens all the time. You shouldn't have any "guilt" because of it -- you didn't absolutely NOTHING wrong, sweetie. Things just didn't "click" between you, and it was no ones' fault.

Believe me, you WILL find someone who you DO "click" with, and who you love MORE than you do this guy. You might have thought that this was the 'reall thing' but believe me, it wasn't. When you do find the real thing, you will know it -- because he will feel the same, and it will be great! So don't mourn my friend. This is just something we ALL go thru -- it hurts, yes -- but it's a learning process so you'll know when you DO find HIM. God bless and please take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee

relationship break-ups can be painful yuuki. could it be that memoralizing the short term relationship has kept u in the past? for me the longer i dwelled on it the bigger, the loss, it would get. meanwhile you may be missing out on mr.right. he could be right there hoping you'd notice.

it was suggested to me after a divorce (where i couldn't stop crying) to set a specific hour aside each day to cry. the rest of the day when the thoughts came up i was to remind myself that it wasn't time yet. soon enough i realized by postponing the cry i would get busy and forget to go to the cry hour. i was enjoying myself with something. i'd remember and say whoops i missed the designated time so it'll have to wait until next crying hour. soon i could let it all go. sounds too simple but it does work!