[arianna]

Today I learnt a person whom I loved sincerely has left this world. I feel as if my whole body is exploding. I can not describe in words my pain or what I'm feeling. From family members I here it is his funeral. This meaningless life has forced me to do so many things that i did not want to do to, just to make my parents happy. And now today I have learnt that he will never come to life again, he will never breathe again and my parents will see faults to whom ever i meet. I never got to say goodbye to him or see his dying face, or seen his shrinking body in his cofin. Perhaps seeing me would have given him that bit of comfort that he needed to feel. Now i would never know. I feel so much hate for my parents, i totally despise them, I feel as if I cant bear to look at them or hear them when they speak. They gave me a life full of material things and yet they took away the most impotant thing in my life. I fell for there trickery for a better life and now he is gone because of me. Maybe i made him ill, the promise of returning to him when I am old enough, which I never did. i would never know now. Now i'm longing to be at his garvestone and yet when he was alive I made no effort to even sooth him with my words. I didn't see it then, I was far too consumed in my education. Even my education seems like a wasteless effort.

Oh arianna, I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's so hard when we can't be there with our loved one.

I offer up some sites that might be of comfort. You can light a virtual candle in honor of your loved one, or write a virtual memorial.

I hope you will find some peace.

Petunia

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

http://www.griefnet.org/memorials/memcard.html

http://www.angelsonline.com/

http://www.virtual-memorials.com/

i am so sorry for your loss.xoxoxopat

i'm so sorry.....