[razeljenny]

My male friends, some are either sad bachlors, some widowers. What to do? I am smart to avoid really sad conversations to them that remind emm of their past partners. I will try to respect feelings of hurting others, in day to day conversations. How it feels when my mother who is dying of cancer is slowing leaving our mother earth. Just allowing supportive community to love me the best way that they are able. Why, (hideing some deep pain for the cause of saving a man or woman friend from certain tears, I won't have time to hold or can't help) the pain of life, how we go through trials that hurt but don't want to add harm, in conversation with those that we care for. Taking Mom out for day, seeing her wasting away, not able to do for herself the way she always did before, lost her hair on the head from kemo-therapy, how much my inner heart pains, oh cries deep deeply.....no words to express my deepest turn of saddness...just I try try hold on to a face of composed, like a more serene pond, maybe a pond in the beginning of a day of rain. Slow changes in my emotional climate, with my struggling of letting go of afflictive feelings, I am thinking of the people around me, who are hurting too, knowing that unity is more important than huge thunderstorms of rage, and sharing too much worry and hurt too fast, I wanted to grab my widower friend and to give him a body hug, but I have a engagement to soon marry, and I can't behave in that manner, I can only cheer my widower friend in a small smile, a touch of his hand maybe a tap on his shoulder or small sincere gesture and a pull together gesture given to him, reminder to him to stay composed because he might feel a little more composed later on if he tries to take my lead to not break down right there to cry. How can I stay helpful with those people that hurt and are in so much pain. We are all going through these trying times it seems to me.