Need strenght for a friend

I have a friend that has end stage COPD. I want and need to go visit her and give her what support I can. The problem is my mother died of COPD and I am having trouble getting up the courage to go see my friend because it brings back all the pain of losing my mother. I am bipolar and severely depressed at the time. It is hard for me to get the energy to do anything much less go see my friend. I say every weekend I'm going to go see her but never do. I can't stand the thought of seeing her in the shape my mother was in. She's only 57.
Gayle

I think you need to do this, however you make yourself get there by trick or by push---as you said you "need" to do this; and you will, it sounds, regret it if you do not. Remember everyone is an individual, and although you will be reminded, and you will be sad, sadness is not depression if expressed; she will still be your friend and not your mother. Having been there before, you could be a great support, even an advocate. As a nurse, I know that this is a particularly difficult disease to sit with at the end...and as someone who has lost people I know it is always better afterwards if you have done what you need to do.
Bring a bit of humor too...she's not dead yet. And we are all going that way...

You are right. And we have been friends since we were small children. And you are right about extreme regret if I don't do see her. It's somethine I've got to pull myself together enough to do. Thanks for you support.
Gayle

Good luck to you Gayle...it will be worth the pain.

wishing you all the strength you need to push thru this, Gayle~ i know what you mean about having seen it before~ the two cannot help but be mixed, but you are a different person now, and have different skills~! that will help you to heal even more...

Im hoping the best for you. If you cant make it to see her, its something you're going to need to come to terms with because, as w4m said, the regret will be heavy. I understand feeling so badly that you just cant do anything. I hope you wont beat yourself up whichever way this goes, but I too, hope you can make it. Sending hugs.

I agree with winter it may be hard but it may be harder if you don't go.
my best friend was terminal with cancer .. we had been friends from childhood
and had a falling out "my fault" but when I hear he was dying I traveled the 1400 miles to see him , it was the best thing I could have done, sure it was hard to see him in that condition , but we had a good talk over a couple days , he passed a few weeks later ... and I am so glad I got to visit one last time with the man who shall always be my friend . I wish you the best