[Hope.Floater]

Tonight like many other nights I cry. I cry for a life that didn't need to go so soon... I see post's saying "I don't want to live" or "I want to die" I can relate and I can oppose this as well.
These feelings will pass... Keep telling yourself that because if you do decide to end your life that will be it... the end. My little brother took his life 2yrs ago and what he didn't know at the time is that he would be taking my heart with him. That I would spend many day's and nights crying, praying and saying this too will pass.. I'm sure you have someone in your life who would say the same if you ended it all. Don't do it because not only will you be killing yourself you will be killing your loved ones hearts too.
... and if the dark sadness doesn't end try something else and if that doesn't work try again.... their is a light at the end of this really dark tunnel. If there is a chance you will be happy why not try. It is possible. Not every day is a happy day filled with fluffy white clouds and sun shine (as we all know) keep trying and if you are aiming for normal their is no normal as I have learned. Just find you and what makes you happy and the rest will flow.
I write this to give a little hope, to keep others from grieving like I do EVERY SINGLE DAY. I may not know you although I do care.

Thank you beloved. Thank you for caring although your heart has been shattered. I too lost my little brother (best friend, twin flame, soul mate) to suicide. He ended his life and exited this plane of existence in 2009 and I've been shattered ever since. Time heals all wounds? I dare you, time. Thank you for your kindness, and I hope it gets better for you beloved. It has for me somewhat, although it stabs me in the heart mind and stomach every time I think of it and I still go numb when there is a gun to head scene in a movie. Sincerely, Lightbulb7Seven

[Hope.Floater]

Lightbulb7Seven you hit the nail on the head. It's really good to know that I'm truly not alone. Thank you

The feeling is mutual my friend

[Gus1234U]

it is very important for people who are having suicidal thoughts to understand that they may be the result of a brain chemistry disorder, as well as the wish to escape whatever suffering they might be enduring in addition.

i am talking about myself, of course. i had suicidal ideations (thoughts) and feelings for much of my life. for 17 yrs after my brain damage i had those thoughts every day, for most of the day. they became my constant companions, and sometimes very compelling~!

i often called out for help, the crisis lines just changed my focus from desperate to raging at their inadequacies. a couple of times i gave my guns to a cousin to hold, because i knew i was reaching the limits of my endurance.

much to my astonishment, i found the beginnings of relief when i went for acupuncture~! that's when i understood that those thoughts were a form of OCD, a malfunction of the brain, and not really my true desire (tho i was also suffering greatly from other things).

along with the Holosync brain repair therapy i have been using, and learning meditation and practicing it daily for extended lengths of time, i found that i had to change the way i thought about things, and had to relinquish my anger.

by doing that, i have now been free of suicidal thoughts and feelings for almost 4 years. it's Wonderful ~!

so, for anyone who is having those thoughts all the time, i hope you find a way to understand that they are false recordings of desperate feelings, playing over and over in the mind, and must NOT be believed~! nor acted upon.

best wishes to you ~
Gus

[gayleggg]

In the last year I have been suicidal. Thinking of my daughter is the only thing keeping me going, even though, she is grown. But as things keep going downhill suicide starts to look better.

Until this past week when I almost lost a dear friend to suicide. She is now on dialysis and is having to be fed introveniously. I know I don't want to try and fail and there are no sure ways.

This was a postive post to keep on one day at a time. Thanks.

[winter4me]

I too lost my younger brother/only sibling to suicide. 1998. I miss him more as time moves on...

[Fuzzybear]

[Hope.Floater]

Gayleggg some day's my children are the only thing that can keep me on the straight and narrow. It's that internal drive and love. My children are my angels and life savors more then they will ever know.
Winter4me I so relate to you... not a day goes by that I don't at least fight back tears.
Guss1234U- Kudos to you for taking steps to stay safe and sharing ways you fight back against this dark hole.
All of these post represent recovery in so many ways. Thank you guys and keep posting. Your words will help many.

[Rzay4]

I lost my older brother to accidental death in 2005. I miss him more everyday.

[Hope.Floater]

Rzay4 and Winter4me What are some things you guys do to cope with the loss of your brothers during those moments of random "melt down" modes... the heart break moments?

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

it is very important for people who are having suicidal thoughts to understand that they may be the result of a brain chemistry disorder, as well as the wish to escape whatever suffering they might be enduring in addition.

i am talking about myself, of course. i had suicidal ideations (thoughts) and feelings for much of my life. for 17 yrs after my brain damage i had those thoughts every day, for most of the day. they became my constant companions, and sometimes very compelling~!

i often called out for help, the crisis lines just changed my focus from desperate to raging at their inadequacies. a couple of times i gave my guns to a cousin to hold, because i knew i was reaching the limits of my endurance.

much to my astonishment, i found the beginnings of relief when i went for acupuncture~! that's when i understood that those thoughts were a form of OCD, a malfunction of the brain, and not really my true desire (tho i was also suffering greatly from other things).

along with the Holosync brain repair therapy i have been using, and learning meditation and practicing it daily for extended lengths of time, i found that i had to change the way i thought about things, and had to relinquish my anger.

by doing that, i have now been free of suicidal thoughts and feelings for almost 4 years. it's Wonderful ~!

so, for anyone who is having those thoughts all the time, i hope you find a way to understand that they are false recordings of desperate feelings, playing over and over in the mind, and must NOT be believed~! nor acted upon.

best wishes to you ~
Gus

Well that just blew my mind Gus, I didn't know true recovery was a possibility. That is awesome that you have found relief and you are living it as an example to other that it CAN be done. I had heard rumors but never contemplated it as an actual attainable goal. We just got some 'good' insurance lol, so I believe I may inquire about acupuncture and Holosync, it sounds like an answer to prayer. Thanks for sharing Gus.

[Rzay4]

I just pray that I'll be alright or I journal my thoughts and feelings. Somedays I'll sleep the day away other times I'll reach out to family and friends. Most of the time I like to be left alone.

[likewater]

Originally Posted by Lightbulb7Seven

Thank you beloved. Thank you for caring although your heart has been shattered. I too lost my little brother (best friend, twin flame, soul mate) to suicide. He ended his life and exited this plane of existence in 2009 and I've been shattered ever since. Time heals all wounds? I dare you, time. Thank you for your kindness, and I hope it gets better for you beloved. It has for me somewhat, although it stabs me in the heart mind and stomach every time I think of it and I still go numb when there is a gun to head scene in a movie. Sincerely, Lightbulb7Seven

Thank you. The gun scene to head on tv or movie. Or of someone has aa bad day and they pantomime blowing their head off. I just break apart each time I see these things. My sister does too.

[Hope.Floater]

Thank you to all of you guys that have shared. Sometimes I get so consumed by the lose of my brother thus the title "Suicide Heart Brake". You guys help me to remember that what I am feeling is ok and to remember no mater how low I go it's part of the recovery journey. Thank you for sharing

[sunsetsunrise]

well said, Hope Floater. I am so deeply sorry for the passing of your beloved younger brother. People who suicide often do not have any concept of how important they really are to others. They do not see in the moment of pain that there will likely be people who will grieve so deeply for much longer than they could imagine.